It’s the weekend! hurrah!. I left the office at 2 pm leaving Mr T with his Jazz echoing across the office. Pissed off RoadRunner (so named because she runs..................on roads) On my way out I pointed out to her she had another three hours to do. This was met with a retort in some northern mumbo jumbo or moombo joombo as they say oop north. Jumped into my chariot and sped out of the car park whipped down the M4 to beat the rush hour (It puzzles me why it is called a rush hour.....It doesn’t last an hour and going at a snail’s pace bumper to bumper there is certainly no rushing going on)
So the weekend begins we are going away .....Hurrah!!!! SJ is coming back from the US of A. Thought it was nice of her to be missing us in one of her replies....wished she was in Bracknell making music with her band............sweet........totally mad of course! I mean Chicago is the home of such great music ....Jazz and house and all that! They even named the place after a London musical!!!!!!! Dominic is probably drumming on anything and everything along to the cd of the songs I gave him. Chippy is fighting a cold and is busy hitting Greenday???!?!??! Fighting and hitting..... all very violent....
More updates next week !
Saturday, 31 March 2007
Tuesday, 27 March 2007
Stiff as a Board
So here I am at my work desk working late. the only one in the office left. James Brown is keeping me company (no i'm not a budding Derek Acorah........he's on on my CD player) I'm digging some really deep grooves laid down by the likes of Bootsy Collins and James Jamerson. Only 24 hours prior I was laying down some grooves of my own with Hot Machero. The rehearsal was upon us again. SJ is still with the Moose-man in Chicago but the rest of us here in good old Blighty esembled at the Church. I opted to be SJ! minus the voice, the hair,and obvious gender and age differences....I giggled a lot though to get into role.
We were going to start with Good riddance time of your life by Green Day but Chippy forgot his music?!?!?!???!! and given that he only got it via e-mail the night before he was forgiven for not knowing it of by heart.
Sing by travis was the next song to get the Hot Machero treatment. For the first five minutes Chippy looked stiffer than a piece of his wood that he so skillfully works with. (Chippy took exception to the fact we said he made his carpentry up as he goes in the last blog ...........tart!). As he got into the session he relaxed and sing started to sound half decent The Hot Machero sound was forming. Wifey's tinkling guitar and Chippys rythmic strumming on sing sounded good.
Next up was Kula Shaker's Into the deep. This really went well and Dominic and i had fun experimenting with the overblown drum beat and Bass that comes in at the begining and after wifey's guitar solo. On the last run through Dominic and I were on fire and we were holding down a real tight bass line. I got so carried away by the sound of it that I completely forgot about our two other guitarists who were now half way through the first verse!. We started again and although there is work to do round the bridge and ending it is sounding good.
Sitting on the dock of the bay-by Otis Redding is where I was blown out of the water by the guitarists with far superior amps. After re adjusting the balance so I could be heard it sounded good.
The Church gate keeper came and turfed us out dead on the hour and we left enthused. Chippy phoned this morning sounding like Joe Cocker as he was coming down with a cold. He expressed how much fun he had, as he had never played with anyone before and if that wasn't bad enough he stated he was going off to do some samples !!???
He text me later stating "I've got a new girlfriend. Her name is Laney.....her vitals are 12inch X 120W...........and it's love" I am going to have no hope am I?
We were going to start with Good riddance time of your life by Green Day but Chippy forgot his music?!?!?!???!! and given that he only got it via e-mail the night before he was forgiven for not knowing it of by heart.
Sing by travis was the next song to get the Hot Machero treatment. For the first five minutes Chippy looked stiffer than a piece of his wood that he so skillfully works with. (Chippy took exception to the fact we said he made his carpentry up as he goes in the last blog ...........tart!). As he got into the session he relaxed and sing started to sound half decent The Hot Machero sound was forming. Wifey's tinkling guitar and Chippys rythmic strumming on sing sounded good.
Next up was Kula Shaker's Into the deep. This really went well and Dominic and i had fun experimenting with the overblown drum beat and Bass that comes in at the begining and after wifey's guitar solo. On the last run through Dominic and I were on fire and we were holding down a real tight bass line. I got so carried away by the sound of it that I completely forgot about our two other guitarists who were now half way through the first verse!. We started again and although there is work to do round the bridge and ending it is sounding good.
Sitting on the dock of the bay-by Otis Redding is where I was blown out of the water by the guitarists with far superior amps. After re adjusting the balance so I could be heard it sounded good.
The Church gate keeper came and turfed us out dead on the hour and we left enthused. Chippy phoned this morning sounding like Joe Cocker as he was coming down with a cold. He expressed how much fun he had, as he had never played with anyone before and if that wasn't bad enough he stated he was going off to do some samples !!???
He text me later stating "I've got a new girlfriend. Her name is Laney.....her vitals are 12inch X 120W...........and it's love" I am going to have no hope am I?
Sunday, 25 March 2007
Clocks
Sunday morning we awoke bright and early. Fresh as the Spring morning the family danced down to the kitchen to have breakfast. Outside the sun was shining and the daffodils gently swaying in the breeze. I could not believe that we were all up so early and ready to have breakfast and go to Mass. After breakfast we all dressed and got into the car to arrive at St Josephs Church. I parked the car in the service area car park and noticed that there were lots of cars already there. I commented to husband, 'there are a lot of cars here' , he commented back and 'yes no body getting in or out of them.' I then said Mass is at 1030am as usual? He said' I will check.' He got of the car and walked off into the mass of cars until he slowly disappeared around the brick wall surrounding the perimeter fence of St Josephs. Leaving me listening to a rendition of Don Williams singing Gypsy woman. This was only on as a punishment as soon as he was out of the way I switched over to Green Day until I saw him a few minutes later walking back around the wall when I flicked it back to Don Williams He was shaking his head from side to side. I assumed that maybe as we did not attend church a few weeks before we had not caught up with news that mass times had changed but in fact it was worse, we had forgotten to put the clocks forward. We were an hour late. As husband climbed back into the car unaware that Don Williams was still playing the same song as when he left, he stated the obvious and that we had missed church. Rockstar piped up from the back "Whoaa oooo no church" This was followed with a threat of returning at 5pm.
We still had mother dearest to look forward to as she was coming round for dinner. She has been warned that she would be subjected to some new Machero material, so she could do her Simon Cowell bit. So after a roast dinner and the obligatory clearing up the kitchen after we open the proceedings with Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, loud proud and with punch. We turned to our appreciative audience and saw that mother dearest reserved her right to remain silent. Not even a 'no comment' shrugging our shoulders we then moved onto "into the deep" with the same result and so we tactically changed era. We went for I want to hold your hand by the Beatle which had her singing along but still with no comment. By now we were in full swing and enjoying ourself and mother dearest was standing by the door with her hat and coat and handbag tapping her foot. I thought excellent she is finally getting into the music. We continued to play and turned acoustic for a rendition of Romeo and and Juliet with husband on the mike. Mother dearest sat back down on the stool and said "I didn't know you could sing , can I go home now?" At this point Mini Machero did a version of Sweetest Thing by U2" with Rockstar singing the lead and Mini Minx singing the backing Sweetest Thing , however half way through Minx insisted that she was going to sing Eddy. This then brought on a full rendition of Eddy, which still remains a firm favourite. Three quarters of an hour had past since Mother dearest had first put her hat and coat on. Dark Marge and SJ take note Eddy Eddy Eddy Oi Oi Oi!!.
Chippy sent three text messages pleading for us to send him the playlist for practice tomorrow. We thought you made it up as you went along like your carpentry.
Then as the night was drawing to the end a haunting melody could be heard. In the back room wifey was strumming the chords to Gypsy woman. Ready again to haunt husband with more country he decided to join in with mandolin. Let me tell you F's are not the only chords husband has trouble with we have found out its A7 as well in fact, he butchered the whole song and laughed. Gypsy woman turned into a whole load of b*****cks.
We still had mother dearest to look forward to as she was coming round for dinner. She has been warned that she would be subjected to some new Machero material, so she could do her Simon Cowell bit. So after a roast dinner and the obligatory clearing up the kitchen after we open the proceedings with Sitting on the Dock of the Bay, loud proud and with punch. We turned to our appreciative audience and saw that mother dearest reserved her right to remain silent. Not even a 'no comment' shrugging our shoulders we then moved onto "into the deep" with the same result and so we tactically changed era. We went for I want to hold your hand by the Beatle which had her singing along but still with no comment. By now we were in full swing and enjoying ourself and mother dearest was standing by the door with her hat and coat and handbag tapping her foot. I thought excellent she is finally getting into the music. We continued to play and turned acoustic for a rendition of Romeo and and Juliet with husband on the mike. Mother dearest sat back down on the stool and said "I didn't know you could sing , can I go home now?" At this point Mini Machero did a version of Sweetest Thing by U2" with Rockstar singing the lead and Mini Minx singing the backing Sweetest Thing , however half way through Minx insisted that she was going to sing Eddy. This then brought on a full rendition of Eddy, which still remains a firm favourite. Three quarters of an hour had past since Mother dearest had first put her hat and coat on. Dark Marge and SJ take note Eddy Eddy Eddy Oi Oi Oi!!.
Chippy sent three text messages pleading for us to send him the playlist for practice tomorrow. We thought you made it up as you went along like your carpentry.
Then as the night was drawing to the end a haunting melody could be heard. In the back room wifey was strumming the chords to Gypsy woman. Ready again to haunt husband with more country he decided to join in with mandolin. Let me tell you F's are not the only chords husband has trouble with we have found out its A7 as well in fact, he butchered the whole song and laughed. Gypsy woman turned into a whole load of b*****cks.
Thursday, 22 March 2007
Nemesis
It had been three weeks ....was my nemesis still there waiting towering over all? A double door seperated me from the fiend. I stopped I could feel my heart beating my breath heavy. Adrenalin running through my body waiting to explode........I felt like a gladiator waiting for the doors to the coloseum to open. I hesitated I caught a glimpse through a badly puttied window hastily added to the door for fear of health and safety breaches. The door was about to open........ someone was going to open the door...... my heart beat doubled and trebled....the door opened There it was standing high up as if it was shouting at me!!!!You fat bastard!!!!you unfit coward!!!!!try me if you think you're hard enough!" Ignoring it's taunts I walked up the steps to the first floor I ignored it .....The Versa Climber stood there smug...it thought it had beaten me...thought I wouldn't take up the challenge....I sat on an excercise bikeand started peddling,I watched it gloat at me.I was getting nowhere fast (probably cos I was on an excercise bike).......The Kaiser Chiefs in my head phones belted out Ruby "Is it me is it me are you laughing at me" they sang. This was it I had had enough I marched up to it mounted it and the attack started. My arms and legs pumped hard, the Kaisers were willing me on, sweat and tears were falling on to its hard black metal. It's display was telling me...."is that all you have ?" The Kaisers beat harder I push harder I close my eyes My head started banging to the beat "we are the angry Mob"......I am a tiger!....I am ........a Tiger!....My arms and legs were pumping faster and harder I was at exploding point I was beating the machine I was winning ....I WAS CONQUERING THE VERSA CL...............I felt a tap on my shoulder I opened my eyes and an annoyed gym instructor rudely interrupts my triumphant workout and says "Mate the versa climber works better if you turn it on!" "Yeah I know!" I reply trying not to sound like Andy Pipkin (little Britain).
It was high time I returned to the gym. From my competitive Martial arts days I am a firm believer in your workout needing to intimidate you. Just going through the mill wasn't enough and although the above is ladened with poetic license...I really do despise the versa with a passion and for near on 13 years I have had a love hate relationship with it.
Tired and worn out from the gym and a days work I have not practiced on my Bass tonight. I will attack it with avengance tomorrow.
It was high time I returned to the gym. From my competitive Martial arts days I am a firm believer in your workout needing to intimidate you. Just going through the mill wasn't enough and although the above is ladened with poetic license...I really do despise the versa with a passion and for near on 13 years I have had a love hate relationship with it.
Tired and worn out from the gym and a days work I have not practiced on my Bass tonight. I will attack it with avengance tomorrow.
Tuesday, 20 March 2007
Dark Marge and snot!
Wifey has been enjoying adding bits to myspace. For some reason only known to her she is looking for a gerbil playing a guitar to post up onto the site. Why I don't know!!!!!!! At least it is a fairly healthy obsession with gerbils unlike Richard Gere's.
As soon as the band records anything or has some photos done we will post it on up there. Extending the blog to myspace has been a good move seeing the comments come rolling in has brought new meaning to my writing. Seeing old pictures of Dark Magi (my brother.........formerly known as widdy woddy) has brought about a certain nostalgia to the page. As I leaf through the mind book of memories I remember vividly the space suit that the Dark Marge is wearing. He leads everyone to believe that he was into all things space and sci fi even at that young age. The sad truth was that he had a terrible snotty nose and Mother dearest was at the end of her tether as to what to do. She regularly scraped the snot off of his clothes after a day of running down them. Rumour has it that the local church had lovely light green candles compressed from the stuff. The snotting was obviously a problem but the sneezing was why she felt she had to cover his head with the helmet. If you look carefully at the goldfish bowl on his head it is slightly green. This was not always the case and the constant soiling discoloured it. Dark Marge's problems didn't stop there and Mother dearest had to put him in a jumpsuit for the other issue.….All this psychological turmoil had to take it's toll on the brain somehow ........bless him he even referred to the band as Hot Mackerel in a rare text message I received from him the other day.
The British public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ashamed!!!! they should be!…the British public voted for some worthless pop song over Justin Hawkins to represent us in the Eurovision song contest this year. Malta have chosen a song called Vertigo (absolutely nothing to do with U2!!) the video of which is filmed near my old scouts HQ. I think both countries are doomed to fail miserably.
Hot Machero are meeting up on Monday minus SJ who is currently out in Chicago with a moose?!?!?!?!(maybe that is what you do in the windy city) Chippy will be in attendance hurrah! Another chance to get the music right for when SJ returns and the full compliment of Hot Machero finally meet on the 2nd of April. They are all at it! Chippy is buying himself a new amp!!!!! I will struggle to be heard. The guitar show looms....a new bass amp has my name on it...........so soon the band's bottom end will get louder(without the aid of baked beans)
As soon as the band records anything or has some photos done we will post it on up there. Extending the blog to myspace has been a good move seeing the comments come rolling in has brought new meaning to my writing. Seeing old pictures of Dark Magi (my brother.........formerly known as widdy woddy) has brought about a certain nostalgia to the page. As I leaf through the mind book of memories I remember vividly the space suit that the Dark Marge is wearing. He leads everyone to believe that he was into all things space and sci fi even at that young age. The sad truth was that he had a terrible snotty nose and Mother dearest was at the end of her tether as to what to do. She regularly scraped the snot off of his clothes after a day of running down them. Rumour has it that the local church had lovely light green candles compressed from the stuff. The snotting was obviously a problem but the sneezing was why she felt she had to cover his head with the helmet. If you look carefully at the goldfish bowl on his head it is slightly green. This was not always the case and the constant soiling discoloured it. Dark Marge's problems didn't stop there and Mother dearest had to put him in a jumpsuit for the other issue.….All this psychological turmoil had to take it's toll on the brain somehow ........bless him he even referred to the band as Hot Mackerel in a rare text message I received from him the other day.
The British public!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Ashamed!!!! they should be!…the British public voted for some worthless pop song over Justin Hawkins to represent us in the Eurovision song contest this year. Malta have chosen a song called Vertigo (absolutely nothing to do with U2!!) the video of which is filmed near my old scouts HQ. I think both countries are doomed to fail miserably.
Hot Machero are meeting up on Monday minus SJ who is currently out in Chicago with a moose?!?!?!?!(maybe that is what you do in the windy city) Chippy will be in attendance hurrah! Another chance to get the music right for when SJ returns and the full compliment of Hot Machero finally meet on the 2nd of April. They are all at it! Chippy is buying himself a new amp!!!!! I will struggle to be heard. The guitar show looms....a new bass amp has my name on it...........so soon the band's bottom end will get louder(without the aid of baked beans)
Monday, 19 March 2007
Mother Dearest's E-mail
There is nothing worse than rolling into work on a Monday. Except rolling into work on a Saturday and Sunday of course. Dragging myself into the office I felt the Chinese and the KFC I had eaten over the weekend washed down with Guinness sitting on my belly. The late nights hanging heavy on my eyes.............what a weekend!!!! I settled into my chair exchanged pleasantries with MR T a nice family bloke in my office who actually bothered to drag his body in early. Mr T and I revealed how our weekends had gone and I smiled to myself as I realised mine was more exciting. His was .....well......nice?!!!. He opened up his lunch box and took out a nice ham sandwich and started to feast. I opened my E-mail to reveal that our web marshal had blocked an e-mail with words of an explicit nature....Oooer I thought...who sent this I thought.......Chippy? Dark Magi? wifey? nope!..............................MOTHER DEAREST!!!!!!!!
My mother sent me an e-mail containing the word erection!! I got straight on the phone and said to her in a loud voice “Mother why did you put an erection in my E-mail??????” Mr T ‘s nice ham sandwich got nicely stuck in his throat and nearly fell over backwards from his chair. Mother dearest protested her innocence and stated it was an e-mail about funny complaints to the council. That particular line read “My neighbour’s erection is so big it is blocking out the sunlight!”
I advised Mother dearest on her e mail content and carried on being grumpy......Geldoff and the Boomtown Rats sprang to mind........I don’t like Mondays either !!!!!!!!
My mother sent me an e-mail containing the word erection!! I got straight on the phone and said to her in a loud voice “Mother why did you put an erection in my E-mail??????” Mr T ‘s nice ham sandwich got nicely stuck in his throat and nearly fell over backwards from his chair. Mother dearest protested her innocence and stated it was an e-mail about funny complaints to the council. That particular line read “My neighbour’s erection is so big it is blocking out the sunlight!”
I advised Mother dearest on her e mail content and carried on being grumpy......Geldoff and the Boomtown Rats sprang to mind........I don’t like Mondays either !!!!!!!!
Sunday, 18 March 2007
St Patrick's day aftermath...Mother's Day!
The Guinness and Baileys were flowing. St Patrick’s day madness prevailed. They jigged up and down span around Riverdanced all over the kitchen, front room ,garden and in the street!?!?!? Then it was there bedtime and Rockstar and mini minx’s had to go for a shower.... so wifey and I had to calm down too. Rockstar drank some more Guinness froth which set him off to sleep just right . Mini Minx settled for warm milk. But the party carried on. Wifey plugged into her huge amp......(then decided to plug her guitar in instead) to keep up with her I cranked up my Bass and we launched into renditions of Hot Machero songs....Kula Shaker’s Into the deep, Travis’-Sing. Green Day’s -Time of your life, the Otis Redding classic- Sitting on the top of the bay. The Guinness flowed abit more ....the Baileys gushed!!!!!
At midnight we decided to watch some telly we woke up....telly playing to itself at about 3 am...and crawled into bed. Our long-suffering neighbours were away for the weekend .................so we blasted next door but one instead!!!!!!!!!!!
At about 4 am Wifey decided that she wanted a drink so I wandered down in a Guinness induced slumber into the kitchen and woke up having laid out plates bread marge and a knife ready for the toast..........such is my brain programmed. I returned to bed complete with class of water and without a valid excuse for taking so long !!!!!
Today is mother’s day ....Rockstar and Minx bowled into our room at 6 am shouting happy mother’s day...................................how sweet?!!!?!?! Rockstar bought wifey a Greenday Song book and bath salty things. Minx brought a 20-foot guitar cable with cut off button at the jack. I thought they did very well buying those presents....for a 5 and a 2-year-old. Breakfast was swift and then we all plugged in for some more plank spankin fun........It’s great not having neighbours to be mindful of I then opened the curtains and to my horror.......the oldest boy next door who is near 19 years old was there....he didn’t go away with the rest of the family................he was home alone. He looked tired....I don’t know why.
Mother’s day is all about Mums and we will be seeing ours today. For all you mum’s reading this blog ...Have a good one! for all the kids reading this blog.......Tescos is still open on Sunday if you have forgotten to buy cards and presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
At midnight we decided to watch some telly we woke up....telly playing to itself at about 3 am...and crawled into bed. Our long-suffering neighbours were away for the weekend .................so we blasted next door but one instead!!!!!!!!!!!
At about 4 am Wifey decided that she wanted a drink so I wandered down in a Guinness induced slumber into the kitchen and woke up having laid out plates bread marge and a knife ready for the toast..........such is my brain programmed. I returned to bed complete with class of water and without a valid excuse for taking so long !!!!!
Today is mother’s day ....Rockstar and Minx bowled into our room at 6 am shouting happy mother’s day...................................how sweet?!!!?!?! Rockstar bought wifey a Greenday Song book and bath salty things. Minx brought a 20-foot guitar cable with cut off button at the jack. I thought they did very well buying those presents....for a 5 and a 2-year-old. Breakfast was swift and then we all plugged in for some more plank spankin fun........It’s great not having neighbours to be mindful of I then opened the curtains and to my horror.......the oldest boy next door who is near 19 years old was there....he didn’t go away with the rest of the family................he was home alone. He looked tired....I don’t know why.
Mother’s day is all about Mums and we will be seeing ours today. For all you mum’s reading this blog ...Have a good one! for all the kids reading this blog.......Tescos is still open on Sunday if you have forgotten to buy cards and presents!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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