Tuesday 22 September 2009

We're back at it

These strange musicians turned up on my doorstep last night and after some careful interrogation I realised they were Spriggan Mist!!!! Yes the Gizmo kids have taken a sabbatical from their holidays to come to rehearsals …they are off again this week while Gurning Boy celebrates another birthday.

Has been a month since we met and it's amazing …… the song Northern Lights has gone all mellow and Lonely Shore has had the proverbial kicked out of it and turned into a rock song a'la Dolmen….we have persuaded Gurning boy not to strip off to bare chest and prance around in a kilt like The Dolmen's charismatic front man Taloch….(I am definitely not putting my hair into blonde dreadlocks and wearing a basque as their bass player does…...............she is female of course……I'm not ……I'm sure you have noticed…) but it is all good!

Before I could do any band practice I had to help my eight year old boy , Rock Star to do his homework……the question he had was

" What religion was Jesus brought up in?" Rockstar gave me a blank expression…………….so I said trying to funnel the answer out of him..

"Well ok, Jesus was said to be the King of the J…..?" his reply was quick

"Jungle" he shouted….hmmm

Try explaining that one away to his teacher.

Tuesday 8 September 2009

Bell bottoms and vol-au-vonts

I sat there feeling rather odd. It was 2009 yet it felt like 1975 my wig was so long it got in the way of my mouth when scoffing the party food. Everything was tight and clingy until the knee than everything was saggy. There were sequins,platforms and hair balls bouncing around me bopping to disco classics like...ABC ...YMCA..Dancing Queen and I feel loved. There were huge afro wigs and big medallions walking in and out of the kitchen........yes it was a 70s disco party. Twas indeedy Wifey's bessie mate's 40th......horse woman...(not coz she has a long face...she likes horses)decided to have an ABBA/70s themed party. I was born in 1971 so i toyed with the idea of turning up in a nappy......there was an abundant Anfrida and the other one... and a few Benny and bjorns but for me the best outfit was the bloke that turned up in jeans and t shirt.......he had a toilet seat around his neck to which was taped a bottle of Evian......he walked in and we all in unison said ....Waterloo!!!! wish i'd thought of that. Jockanese K...MBE who happens to be Horse Woman's brother in law was dressed in a really camp blonde wig and a white flared outfit.....if only the Taliban could see him now!!!it would be enough to withdraw and never come back to Afghanistan. I suppose it was a good night....no it was a good night but Mrs Jokanese K ...MBE was trigger happy on the old camera and facebook will sure to be showing pictures soon ...groan

So Mother Dearest is off galavanting for the week.....yes she is with Ol'Texas. Well you have heard of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? Lone Ranger and Tonto? (actually why was he called a "Lone Ranger"? Tonto was always sniffing round wasn't he?......in fact there was a rumour that they wee in fact America's first gay couple ...I mean the village people certainly modelled themselves on the western crime fighters) any way where was I? oh yes......you've heard of Batman and Robin? DangerMouse and Penfold? well MD and Texas are more like ..Hinge and Bracket without the piano....and not blokes..... Basingstoke's local Police have had an all cars warning go out and the pair are being closely monitored should MD in particular become agro. Now i've lived in Basingstoke and there isn't a great deal to do there so I can only think MD is getting a crash course in Chainsaw sculpting for Pensioners or a crammer course in credit card fraud.....but this I understand was a big misunderstanding on Texas' part. Ingenius but none the less a mistake.....Texas junior had a credit card sent throught to the address and Texas signed it thinking it her own and went off into the distance shouting ...spend spend spend!!!!
Two holidays in Barbados and week spinning around to the shops in a Maserati later and she was made to hand the card back!!!!!!(ok that was a slight exageration....she paid her car tax...but hey it made for a better story).
It's easily done though as the initials on the card was really similar she's a P and her son's and S.......
All has been rectified in this case and Texas has been advised that " She should of gone to Specsavers"