Mead-Refreshes the parts other drinks wouldn't want to

So dear readers Yule arrived,we'd sang about it for the last few weeks,if you were lucky enough....you even received an official Spriggan Mist Yule card with a limited edition "Days of winter" CD attached. It was only fitting that wifey and I should celebrate Yule correctly.

So after a lovely evening we settled down in the front room . We sat there with a pewter goblet full of Mead each. We had exchanged a Yule ptresent already and my gift to Wifey ,Mediaeval Baebes' Mistletoe and wine cd was playing eminating the most beautiful melodic yet at times haunting music throughout the room which for those of you in the know is decorated in a style that lends to mystic and wonder. This feel was further enhanced by the thick haze of Yule incense burning on a table in the back room making a christmas card setting as we sat in just candle light be it for some Christmas lights on the tree and on a garland above the fireplace underneath which was situated proudly on the hearth a Yule log that wifey had made and decorated with holly and ivy and three candles red white and green .


The setting was perfect ...I sipped my Mead and stared into the Yule Log the flames were hypnotising as the Baebes sang for us...I drifted off to a relaxing sleep...lord of my Manor happy and content ...................................I felt a cold sensation in my lap...The Baebes were almost throught there festive repertoire...I looked down at my lap and there it was my once full pewter goblet laying in my lap contents of which dripping through my trousers onto the setee,chilling anything in between.....Mead is of course alcohol and as i tried to clean it from our lovely brown leather suite ...the cold turned to burning ......Wifey could hardly contain her self as I did a special Yule tide jig straight into the shower.

Yule blessings to you all

Dear Santa......

Dear Santa,
This year as you are advancing in age and may be losing it a bit.....don‘t worry I fully understand ....you must be well older than Mother dearest but seeing what pandemonium she causes I can imagine that the old grey thing might not work as efficiently as it used to (I mean your brain not Mother Dearest that is). So I thought I’d give you a helping hand and suggest some pressies for people that regularly appear in these pages.

The Dark Marge....A stress ball......well he has been a good boy this year he has done bags of artwork for us, but as quiet and restrained as he is I can hear the stress in his voice when I say.. ”Well Marge that picture you did? For the CD cover ...the one that took you about 3 days to do..yep that one.....Wifey doesn’t like it” or .... “Hi Marge that winter scene? Yep the one we wanted in the snow...yep the ice thing......Wifey reckons it’d too cold needs to be warmer”..........I knew he was getting a bit fed up when the reply came back “Well you tell me how to make warm F*£ck1ng Snow!”. Many of my readers have commented on what a grand job ...the “3rd member of Spriggan mist “ does on the artwork........so Santa mate chuck him a stress ball and don’t hassle him for that 3D picture of Rudolph you have ordered.


Mother Dearest...hmmm where do we start....a good girl? S’pose so, all though the fruit and veg man at the market would probably debate that as he still dives for cover when she approaches in her mobility scooter. I think she could benefit from a spirit level........well the old vertigo thing can’t be easy for her so a level head could come in useful?!?!? And there are two things that really annoy me around Christmas time ....people that come round sit in my armchairs looking the decs we’ve put up and say......” oh that garland isn’t straight” Mother Dearest is good at this...well if you brought her a spirit level she could bloody well go and put it straight herself..in fact bring her some gift wrapped step ladders to reach the high bits too. The other favourite of MD is .......”oh look you know those chasing fairy lights that took you an hour to put up and made you swear in Maltese................you have a bulb gone!”
The children ...well you have their lists ......even you can’t get that wrong although how you are going to get a drum kit on the back of your sleigh is beyond me!
Mr T....... Well T is a difficult one really. Can you get some of Simon Cowell’s trousers? (T is officially the Spriggan Mist music critique in t’office) Or maybe a wall size picture of Elland Road (Leeds Utd ground) No.... I mean like 20ft along and 10 ft high. Why? Well that’s the only time he’s going to see Leeds as a big club again.
Road Runner...a homing device to pop into hubby The Diddler’s pocket. Well you see El Diddlelerio when out on a bender phones up his missus to come and get him...unfortunately asking her to pick him up from London really doesn’t narrow it down really ....If you could bring the Did’s a plastic card with a chain on it saying “ return me to this address if found” that would be helpful too.

Last but by no means least My wifey...........a peg........yep just a peg.......well it’s to pair her boots up. I said I’d keep this a secret so it’s between you and me alright Santa? . Well she chucked out an old pair of black boots recently as her new ones were better .......for about a month she was wearing her boots when she realised that what she actually did was chucked an old boot and a new boot out and she had been wearing odd boots ........like I said no one noticed so don’t tell anyone. She has been an exceptionally good girl mind .
And then me.......Santa don’t bring me anything this year...I’m happy ,healthy (bit over weight ) and have people around me I love, I have music and I have a large tin of celebrations. Sorted....!

Konditions of change gets nominated! vote now!

OUR EP KONDITIONS OF CHANGE HAS BEEN NOMINATED FOR MALTESE EP RELEASE OF THE YEAR VOTE FOR US AT http://apps.facebook.com/mmipoll/

Days of Winter

Days of Winter

Words and music by Wifey

performed by Spriggan Mist

Released 03/12/2008

This song was writen by Wifey one Wednesday morning before work....by Saturday it was being recorded. A song written especially for Yule, it tells of how at the Winter solstice the sun is reborn and darker days start to become lighter as The Holly King gives up his reign to The Oak King as he does each year as that "Wonderous Wheel" that is mentioned in the song forever turns ....Winter becomes Spring ...summer becomes Autumn ...and then back to winter . This song is our celebration of this re birth. I get to play tambourine on this too..Woooo Hooo!
Ok ....on myspace I've kept this blog very proffesional here i'm going to be a bit more upfront...This song has had mixed reviews......We really did appreciate people's honesty (especially Mr Ts)and have taken a few views onboard but....
It is quite hymn like to a certain extent....and the message behind this although it has a very strong pagan theme to it, is celebrating the wonder of nature, the wheel of life. so whatever religion or your beliefs I liken this song as a prayer.

We are extremely proud of this piece of work and the feeling and reasons behind it makes the track

Wifey- Acoustic Guitar,Treble Recorder,Tenor Recorder, Vocals (lead and backing, percussion

Me-Bass and percussion

laters.....

Spriggan Mist playing at the Faery Fest

She looked up at the sky and exclaimed “Look there is an aeroplane” I responded in my usual patient and humouring way......” We are indeed by Heathrow Mother dearest” she then tried to point out that the plane was really low....... how she thought that the passengers might disembark I can’t imagine ........parachute ...free fall......teleportation ....worked for Star Trek although Mr Sulu has inadvertently teleported into some jungle inhabited by gay ex police chiefs and people that eat kangaroo balls. I’m half expecting ...or rather hoping Kirk is going to appear and zap Paddick and friends and teleport Sulu off .........it would only be back on the enterprise that they would realise that Sulu has in fact turned gay too....but anyway I digress....Mother Dearest not content on pointing out the obvious ...like around one of the busiest airports in the world there would be planes flying around, we went to get petrol at a petrol station and came out with yet another statement ........”ooh I can smell petrol” ?!?!?!?!?!?

We were on a quest to prepare for the evenings surprise birthday party for Wifey and knowing her recent partiality for mead ...I went to Morris and Doris (Morrisons) on the way out I searched furiously for my car park ticket ...could of sworn I gave it to Mother dearest.....suffering the Barrage of abuse about putting things in a safe place I searched myself like a man being eaten by fleas.....there was nothing for it ....go to the grumpy man in the kiosk and admit I’d lost the ticket....”Sure I didn’t give it to you mother Dearest?” my voice disappearing across the car park as headed off to get another ticket and probably a hefty penalty......to my surprise the blokey bloke didn’t charge me and i raced towards the barrier with my fresh new ticket............Mother Dearest then produces the original ticket ...”oh you did give it to me “ she said all innocently ....AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHH!

But even the escapades of MD couldn’t distract my delight that Spriggan Mist have been asked to play at a Festival in Cornwall on Midsummer Solstice. The Festival is The Three Wishes Faery Fest a three day event 19th -21st of June 2009. It’s run by one of the three singers in the band the Daughters of Gaia who made contact via our myspace . We are going to play Saturday afternoon and Sunday afternoon we are really looking forward to it .....we’ve also been asked to do a charity gig in Weymouth in the new year too but more on that another time when we have more details.
So the hard work begins now, the new album needs to be released and backing tracks from it need to be produced and rehearsed and adapted for live performance....................
By for now ...be blessed!

Tis Wifey's Birthday

Happy Birthday wifey.......I'll apologise to the neighbours for the North American Flute being played at Stoopid O'Clock!........enjoy

So yes as you can see I have renamed the blog....."Life at the low end" made me sound like a depressive and although at the time I thought it was a play on words ....not all of my blogs are funny. So when I am being serious I just get the feeling that the blog appears like I'm not a positive happy kind of bloke . So the new name..."Highs at the Low End " still keeps the play on words and still gives it the bass perspective but it has a positive meaning.....after all life is to be enjoyed and for Spriggan Mist the sun is shining.

bright blessings!

Wax on my fingers

Hello all you blog fans ...have you missed me? course you have ........well I can explain my absence i have been extremely busy burning the candle at both ends as well as in the middle.In fact my candle is just a mush of molten wax dripping down my fingers......but hey that's Rock 'n' Roll.

The 3 daft monkeys were indeed awesome as usual Dark Marge came up from the sticks and ended up buying their CD and T-shirt he even tapped his foot at one point! but then this is the bloke who admits to turning to the sky menu on the telly just to hear the annoying lift type music (kind of like the stuff Mr T listens to when not listening to his dodgy 70s porn music)


Keeping on the "monkeys" theme we missed "the last train to Bracknell" (clarksville? .....) and ended up in Staines...the evening was nicely rounded up with us being dropped to our car by the Police......ahem nuff said.

So we rolled into our beds at about 2 am. We got up at about 6 am listening to the sound of the Marge who doesn't sleep anywhere but on the floor being jumped upon by our 4 year old mini minx who was being supported by her older brother Rockstar. We dropped in on mother dearest eat her out of bread and bacon and set off to Croyden for Witchfest which ended with Katherine Blake of the Medieval Baebes playing a set with her solo band...... if that makes sense.....followed by The Dolmen who were .....very very lively but by that time we were pooped! we arrived home late chattering about what a wonderful weekend it was!

This week has seen Wifey's creative vein stretched even further with even more songs coming through . At this rate we will have enough for next years album......!!!! It would be nice to have the time to record them and then there is the small matter of Christmas which brings on even more musical opportunities in the form of "little baby Jesus" and "Oh little town of Bethlehem"....

After the usual dull doldrums of a working week (and trust me my job is dull at this time) this morning we prepared a picnic and set off to Avebury and spent the best part of the day looking around the stone circle...a truelly magical place it is too. Standing stones are quite dear to our hearts having adopted the stone for the cover of Konditions of change painstakingly brought to live by the Dark Marge. Wifey got a flash of inspiration from the stones and a tune came to her whilst there we have been rehearsing it tonight until the Mead that we drank (purchased from Avebury ) has rendered Wifey incapacitated on the sofa (she did do the driving today!) Avebury will be a place we will go back to I'm sure.

tis' the Weekend

Are you fed up of hearing about the credit crunch? Barak Obama? how that saggy faced Judas type turncoat anus Harry Redknapp is transforming Tottenham Hotspur? Yeah me too. In fact last night I said to Wifey "Wifey I'd rather watch Eastenders than the news".......the news is more depressing than Eastenders even with that icon of depression that is Dot Cotton who would challenge the Pope's faith in God... "If there was truelly a God he would zap Dot Cotton into Oblivion for being the most annoying person in soap land" Bazza chapter 153 letter to the blogites.So what is all this Americanism crud anyway...I mean what's with the Trick or Treat culture now.....where's the penny for the guy? and what happened to a good old fashioned recession...why is it called a credit crunch? sounds like Kellog's latest creation in more ways than one.

Anyway thank God it's Friday ...and yes ..it's 3 daft Monkeys tonight in Soho. The DarkMarge is coming up from the Wicky wicked wild wild west and is going to sample a bit of 3dm mania.....I defy anyone with a heartbeat not to at least toe tap to the Monkeys live.........then tomorrow Wifey,Marge and I are going to an all day festival ....should be really cool.

A great way to end a week of work......I have been in my current carreer for nearly 13 and a half years doing various roles but the last 7 months have been the worst by far . I took the wrong path and I have made a decision to put wheels in motion to sort this out today!!!! Punching the air and putting on my bestest Mel Gibson war face and shouting out loud......"Freedom!!!!!!!"

I'm often accused of flowering these blogs up but I swear (quite a bit at the moment actually) but I swear that the following is true ....imagine the face of a poor unsuspecting mobility scooter dealer in town sitting in his shop mulling over the latest edition of Dribbly chariot trader when in bursts Mother dearest having screamed her ferrari (red mobility scooter) to a halt outside forcing several pedestrians to dive for cover . She marches up to the counter and forces the hapless mobility matey's jaw to hit the counter as she proudly says to him.....

"I am in need of a Screw!"

Spriggan mist -musicians wanted

Spriggan Mist are currently looking for musicians to perform live. We are looking for dedicated ,easy going musicians age and gender not important that like our music with the view of doing a few gigs in the spring into summer. Rehearsals will be about once fortnightly (maybe a little more frequent leading up to a gig).

Musicians needed

Drummer/percussionist..
All considered but would love to hear from a bodhran player too.

Recorder/tenor recorder player
A recorder player /guitarist would be ideal (for 3rd guitar pieces)

Singers
Lead /Backing male female we'll consider anyone.....a singer musician again would be ideal .


Want to hear from any musicians with an interest in our music so email on

sprigganmist@sky.com

New Spriggan Mist song- "Reflections"

Music by Maxine Cilia (2008)
Maxine Cilia--Recorder , Tenor Recorder ,Fife Electric Guitar
Baz Cilia- Bass

Reflections has been knocking around for a few months now, originally under the working title of "mist clearing". It was whilst playing around with the keyboard for the "Visions of Mist " meditation CD that Maxine discovered the main tune of this song. She recorded it and left it in the "maybe bucket" I put a bass line to it and again it got left to one side not making the final cut of the visions of mist CD with us favouring the more subtle Cernunos and Hathor tracks. Maxine decided that we ought to replace the keyboard with recorders and she set about re recording with Tenor Recorder, recorder and for the first time a fife that can be heard towards the beginning of the track off in the distance. By now we had called this track "Reflections" although Maxine had in her mind The Oak King and the fact that it was autumn and it signified Oak King had laid to rest. Whilst researching the Oak king I found online on the Fairy Encyclopedia



"The Oak King exists in the pagan lore of western Europe as something more than a faery but less than a God. He is the king of the waxing year and the other half of the Holly King, the king of the waning year. From Yule to Midsummer the Oak King reigns, taking over the mantle of rulership from the Holly King.

In many pagan Yule rituals this struggle is acted out between two coven members who portray the two kings, who are really only reflections of each other. Though they fight and one pretends to die, it is merely the other half of himself resting until it is his turn to reign again."

To us this means the track had to remain as reflections. So as you listen to this track join us in wishing that the Oak King is having good rest and we will meet him again after Yule.

Slap pop

So they all laughed in the Council Office when I told them. Wifey had a similar response at her office. "Level 42 ????" they all said scoffing. I pointed out that Mark King is just an awesome bass player with his percussive slap pop style. Anyway it was at the Royal Albert Hall and as I had never been there I was looking forward to it .

Now upon entering the hall which I must say appeared smaller than on telly. I noticed by looking around me that the make up of the audience was predominantly over 30 perhaps mostly late 30s and into 40s 50s and I would say 99.9% white........which would account for the fact that no one could dance....seriously...it was like watching your parents at a family wedding...everyone knows white dudes can't dance (Eddie Murphy talks about this at length on his Delirious Video).

The band were however really really good and King did not disappoint . The band as a whole were really tight especially Mark King's trousers he has (like a lot of us) eat a few pies since the 80s. The concert flew by and the encore of "Chinese Way " was brilliant.

Now I like my live music and yeah I will wear a band t-shirt maybe get quite excited and jump up and down at the likes of Kula shaker ,U2 and Wolfmother concerts but I was doing my usual people watching and saw in the seats in front of the stage (about half way down ) two blokes. They were like Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee they were about 25 stone each and had shaven heads. They were obvious Level 42 fanatics as they were wearing American Football shirts with Level 42 on the back...matching ones of course . They were well into them and you could see them stood up even in the ballads much to the annoyance of a small woman behind them who remonstrated profusely.You can tell a fanatic ...they will look to the sky and lift their arms up like they are saluting the heavens at certain points. They will also shout out the most obscure song the band may have released on a B side before they were famous demanding they play it. As they walk out after the concert they will also use the bands first names and say stuff like" Mark played well tonight...yeah yeah they didn't play ( naming that obscure song again ) though"

I also noticed that Level 42 fans don't air guitar....oh no ...they air bass...and slap and pop their chests like the Bass maestro himself .

It was a great night and I'm glad I endured the scoffing........anyway off to do some slap pop .

The Quest for the Golden Shoes

Ok ok .....they weren’t golden they were black school shoes for our Mini Minx but today’s offerings from your Lord of the blogs is a story that is on the whole true and involves a journey of discovery ,intrigue ,eastern mysticism (easy to say sucking a toffee) danger .....like proper Danger Zoiks!!!!!!!
It all started one sunny Saturday Morning when Wifey showed me the Princess’s (our Mini minx) school shoes . They were so badly scuffed by the wicked magical scooter which she had been using to get to her school that we decided to embark on a quest to get some new ones. So dangerous was this quest ...we had to wait for Wifey to get a flu jab first!!!!

So we set off on foot in to the big wide world.........well Bracknell! Our first test was to pacify the whinging Prince (Rockstar) A test I hastened to adds we failed miserably at and added to the tale of woe for the remainder of the quest. Our arrival at Clarks was a swift one unlike the queue.... size nine and a half E was our request . Unfortunately after 45 minutes we were turned away....you see kids had all gone back to school and there weren’t many sizes left now. So dragging our Royalty with us still moaning we went from shop to shop but alas no shoes. It was then we felt we needed some guidance from the East.......we visited the Chinese ........no not a wise old monk with white eyes ...but The Real China ...eat as much as you can possibly stuff into your body before you burst for the price of a Macky D’s restaurant.

So we sat there chomping away and Rockstar knocked his glass of Diet Coke off the table with his elbow ,Wifey with the speed of Mr Miyagi slapped the glass back on to the table like she was playing ping pong that made it shoot across the shiny surface and teeter on the edge by me I pushed it back on giving the glass a palm strike whilst screaming like Bruce Lee in Enter the dragon....this caused he glass to do a funny little dance sloshing it’s contents all around whilst Wifey managed to steady the vessel........phew. An obliging Chinese waitress came over and started to clean our mess up when she too accidentally swiped the glass clean off the table with her cloth ...sending it off the edge ...with her other hand she thrust out at the glass and it kind of snapped into her hand ...like a fly being caught in chopsticks!........After laughter of disbelief The manager came over and said he would ban the glass for being troublesome ...Rockstar finished the contents of the glass ...amazingly there was three quarters of it still left. So fresh from completing our tasks of skill and dexterity (not to mention bellies full of chicken balls rice and all the other bits associated with pigging one’s self at the local Chinese again set off on our quest ....first we returned home and got into our chariot and set off on the dusty road towards Nam...........Wokin-nam....ok ok it’s Wokingham but it would of spoiled the gag spelling it properly.

So upon arrival at the Kingdom of Nam........we realised they are a posh lot over there . We managed to find the Clarks I sat down Minx took her a shoes off Wifey was being served by a young sales assistant when a member of staff came out of the stockroom and said to his Supervisor the profound words

“Bit Smokey in there innit?” (must have been from Bracknell...he said” innit”)

With this she went into the stock room which by now had a haze coming out from it .....she came back out and said in a loud nasily annoying voice......

“Sorry but we are evacuating ...the store ...please leave the store by the main exit” I’m glad she told me this as I was considering going out through the stock room!!!!

Wifey in desperation stood shoulders dropped and said “Oh no ! we came here all the way from Bracknell on purpose just to get shoes” I understood what Wifey was saying she was pointing out the Irony of of luck!!! Supervisor then did something that really grips my proverbial. She slung her hands out to usher us out and said those annoying words

“I’m sorry Health and safety” she then proceeded to repeat the phrase about five times “

What's wrong with..."please leave the store we think we have a fire in the building" or "please leave the store we are on fire" or even "run like F**K we are going to blow up!!" but......

“Health and safety ...you have to leave Health and safety”

She sounded like a robot “Health and safety” .......it reminded me of this woman I once worked with when Health and safety came into the workplace and was a real buzz word in the mid 90’s She was the Health and Safety rep for the office and she was walking along in the corridor where she saw a discarded cardboard box sat in the middle of the corridor . She stood over it pointed to it as anybody passed saying ...you got it “Health and safety” she did this for about two minutes when a colleague of mine came up with an ingenius idea.....”well why don’t you just move the F*^%er then!”

Back to the story ......so there we are being ushered out by Metal Mickey we stood on the pavement as we heard the distant sound of fire engines sirens blaring we dejectedly walked off to find another shoe shop leaving Metal Mickey chuffed by her health and Safety. The only other shop in Nam didn’t have them either.......they recommended Crowthorne .......not that we’d find shoes there they said it was a nice place. (not really)

So off we trundled to Crowthorne and again we got the Windy Miller shake of the head. There was only one thing for it ...ignore Rockstar’s whinging a bit more and go to ....that place of retail torture................The Meadows..........dum dum dummmmmm.

Arriving at the humungassly gigantic..... Mark’ sand Sparks we rooted around the shoe department like cave men foraging for food when there they were ....a big golden glow lit up the aisle we found the shoes we wanted.
We returned home weary and battle scarred...The Princess did indeed get her shoes The prince didn’t stop whinging Wifey and I lost another slither of our sanity.

Spriggan Mist.... Live

Life at Spriggan towers has been hectic. We are busy recording material for the album and on Saturday took part in Rockstar and mini minx's school Talent night which we helped to organise .

It was a great show.........no seriously it was ..some parents have said it was the best activity the school PTA have done and there were some real talented acts on . Spriggan Mist together with Rockstar were the house band accompanying "The Von trapps" a very talented family of singers on a couple of numbers (more about them later.) We were the last act before the finale . It was a good testing ground to see how Spriggan Mist would go down live be it that the audience did not get the full extent of Wifey's song writing and performing prowess .As most of you know the two Tunes we played "Echoes of Beltane" and "The Merry Mead" Wifey plays about four instruments on each and we were stripped down to drums ,Banjo and bass. Nonetheless Rockstar our 7 year old dynamo on drums was great and although we went out a bit on Merry Mead he pulled it back as fast as we lost it . We had them all with hands in the air and stomping their feet . I ramped up the bass a bit just to give it a bit of Tempo. We played whilst everyone got off the stage for the finale with an instrumental Kultural Karma with rockstar really banging out some fills. I'll await the DVD of the events to see how it sounded as I'm not sure the volumes were right but it served it's purpose and people seemed to enjoy it..................................Spriggan Mist ...live for the first time.!!!!!

The Von traps are Mum and two daughters aged 11 and 15 They all very talented but middle Von Trap is going to record Kultural Karma with us. It should sound brilliant her voice is very strong and beyond her years. More when this is recorded.

After months of office arguments I have posted a new poll there down on the right. Mr T supports Leeds Utd...yeah they are some club languishing in League 1 (div 3 in old money) i support the mighty Pompey...yes the current FA Cup champions and Premier league Club...playing in Europe this season three England Internationals in the team etc...etc...etc...
T reckons Leeds are a bigger club.....I say No ...............so it is down to you good people to settle the argument vote away....

Holy Bread- 2 points

Back ..........way back ......when this blog actually made sense, I wrote about an unsavoury incident where I accidentally walked into a weightwatchers class in the church hall.

A great philosopher once said

“lightning does not strike twice!”

He lied!


So Rockstar will be doing his First holy communion next year.........(....this is when holy communion is taken for the first time ........funny that eh?) it’s kind of important for us Catholic dudes so he has to attend Billions and Zillions of lessons and as a parent I had to attend a meeting at the church last night . As usual I was running dead on time or just a tad late . I did a James Bond style shonky manoeuvre into the church car park and expected not to find parking so I attempted to squeeze into a miniscule parking space thinking there wouldn’t be parking I was in parking mode squeezing my 4x4 into a mini space...... ..holding up two other parents in the process I let them through looked up and realised there was loads of parking further down so parked up down there and spoke with the parents I held up.

It was Cristina’s Mum and Dad . They are Portuguese and we laughed at my stupidity at the parking stage of the evening walked into the hall still being quite jovial walked up to the table to sign in ........in unison we looked up as we saw Weight Watchers on the sheet.......blimey I thought ......maybe the church can’t have fat people eating holy bread anymore ....maybe they eat it all and leave none for everyone else?

We looked at this group of rather rotund women........obviously new ...or maybe it doesn’t work???? Looking back at us .I sucked my belly in and my Portugese friend followed suit..we span round on our heels ...”we don’t need to come here do we.........no no no.....” and hurried out leaving the fat fighters to talk points and waist sizes.

So we walked into the church and sixty other parents were all sitting in the church our Parish priest at the front . After asking the church caretaker to remind me of my name again I signed in and told him that weight watchers nearly had three new members not realising that the Parish priest had now stopped his address as some 18 stone oaf was acting the buffoon at the door ......I could hear several sniggers as I repeated my gag re sucking in stomach and not needing Weight watchers and realised the entire church was looking back at me and the hapless Portugese who rolled in with me the bloke still rubbing his head after suggesting to his wife that maybe she would of benefitted from staying with the Weightwatchers . Not sure what she said to him (as my command of the Portugese tongue is indeed ni),but as a left hooking slap whacked the back of his head but I bet it wasn’t “thank you darling for thinking of my health but I think I’ll decline”

Our Parish priest then quite firmly addressed the importance of being on time!!!!!


I’ll leave you with this .........

“what has more points than Tottenham Hotspur?........................a triangle!”

Options

I lay there in bed .....I was awoken by the bass line to Queen's Under pressure .......I looked at Wifey's alarm clock with contempt .0530 hours it said .....Option 1....put my head under the pillow and try and get back to sleep...option 2 ...smack the living crap out of it .....and get back to sleep. wifey saved the hapless alarm clock (Ipod docking station actually) just as Brian May comes in with old Red. Then dear reader I find myself wandering down stairs making Wifey Tea......it happens every morning but this morning I sussed why...........Subliminal suggestion...she thought I was deep asleep but I could hear her under her tongue saying "Tea........teeeeeeeeea.......teeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaa" so off I trotted. Tomorrow when I wake up early i'm going to try it...."Full english breakfast........full Englishhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh..Full...englishhhhhhhhhh" I'll let you know how I get on ...if I can still walk to the computer that is.

So I've just sent heroff to work and stood in the door way waving goodbye admiring my handy work of laying a ton of slug pellets the night before in the front garden ..it looked like a slug mass murder had occurred .I half expected some Police slugs to turn up and cordon my front garden off ushering me indoors saying " move along human there is nothing to see" It was at that point of wondering I thought I needed to go to bed again .......but no Options entered my head again.
Option 1....i snuggle back to bed for an hour ....bed to my own leaving me to snore fart burp or all of the above.......option 2....turn on the computer and tap out an installment of the life and times of me.........why oh why I chose option 2 is still a mystery to me as I'm typing . Especially as last night Wifey reminded me that my MOT on my car was due and she couldn't get it taxed til I had that done.....shit shit shit shit my MOT expires.....yesterday...So dearest reader added to the fact I have school run ....School Talent show posters to put up all over the school before I even go to work I have to get that pesky car to an MOT station....I need to get to work on time so I can finish in time for my bass lesson too.

The Talent show has taken over our lives a bit....i can't walk into the school yard without a parent giving me GBH of the ear holes regarding their little johnny not being chosen yet so ans so's little Benny ( i don't know i just plucked it out of the air!) is in it etc...(to be fair there were some genuine agrievances which I will address with the teacher I'm assisting to run this )It's ironic that the first public performance of Spriggan Mist is us going to do the backing for another act singing Bridge over troubled water and You're my best friend by Don Williams.......groan (although it does sound good)...but we do get to play Echoes of Beltane and The Merry Mead on our slot be it just Banjo ,bass and Rockstar on drums.

So yes I'm sitting here wondering where I put last years MOT.....lost....eating a bacon and egg bagel...without butter or sauce...I forgot to buy them ....and drinking water....forgot the ribena too. To top it all off every other Thursday I have to do a presentation at work so the wednesday before is always really busy prepping and researching.....Mr T yesterday suggested that I only actually do any work on that wednesday .......shock horror!

Anyway yesterday Mother dearest hung up her Mobility scooter keys for the day (the town centre breathed a sigh of relief) and took to Windsor with three other hell's Grannies and went on a boat trip down the River Thames....I got a Text from her saying they had the whole boat to themselves.....really ? i retorted...what like mutiny on the bounty........my strangely warped little mind gave me visions of the grannies taking over the boat and ramming anything on the Thames and on the banks come to think of it!..... "no we have two boat people .... dishy young men too"

" No mother Dearest " I sighed " they are called carers.....

Mother Dearest Blows Out Stonkin Ron

So as our next door neighbour couldn't baby sit it looked like that Wifey and I weren't going to get to go to this Folk gig at South Hill park.
I phoned Mother dearest in a last ditch attempt to see if she could cover .......an apologetic reply came back.....
"Sorry but I'm seeing Stompin Ron"
"Who the Fffffffffflip is Stonkin Ron when he's at home?" I replied
Apparently he is a roving DJ that plays at local dribbley homes. I can't imagine his playlist...it's hardly going to be prodigy followed by slipnot is it?
So it looked like we were not going to the ball after all...then 10 minutes later Mother dearest rings back and decides to blow the stonker out and babysit for us anyway....hoorah!

Today at work I was falling asleep at my computer terminal when I heard a familiar voice come into the room I turned my head and sure nuff there she was Cruella my old boss herself.....quickly extracting my ear stud wiping my dribble from my face and waking up a bit I congratulated her on her recent marriage to Big D and she proceeded to talk boss type things with “the awfully decent chap” She opened her discussion with “ so tell me what is new?”

I interjected “Boss it’s shit all shit!”

I got the “take a bollocking and shut up no one asked you anyway “ type put down so I carried on being bored with my computer . As she left the room (floating away of course) I did ask her if she was indeed reading these pages of absurdities.
She said she was and said that she was in the town centre recently and found her self to be very nervous lest she be mowed down by Mother Dearest or the Mothering Out law and their mobility scooters from hell.....I sympathised with her on this thought as she left the office . I put my stud back in “The awfully decent chap “ smiled at my rebellious stance and I settled back down to my computer again ....

But Cruella wasn’t the only blast from the past ...oh no! Remember Chippy? Well he contacted us on Facebook saying how much he liked our music and I quote
“I know you guys can’t have a lot of time to record so is that why you recorded Lazy Stones in the bath?”..........twit

We cut to Edinburgh castle and on a lonely bastion a lone tartan clad piper plays Scotland the brave as the wind playfully teases the tassles on his pipes and makes his kilt sway back and forth...this can only mean one thing.........yes an update from Jockanese K...MBE...yes I heard from our gulf war veteran ......the hero in his own porridge bowl the.........(lone piper ...butts in )

“Aye get on with it...I’m freezing me F******privates off up here ...why the F*** you building him up anyway......aye Hero my F****** A***. He came back unscathed from the middle east then plays a bit of Squash and tears his F****** Achilles tendon the wee woos...........I’m F****** off back down into the pub for a shot of F****** whisky”

Tis’ true my intrepid friend has dodged missiles in Iraq ...Spanked Taliban in Afghanistan ........but has got injured playing squash........we wish him all the best of course.

I leave you with the guff of the week......

Road Runner:"So which Half Marathan are you doing?"
Me " The Malta Half Marathan in March"
Road Runner: " Are you going to fly out there then?"
Me : "Nah I thought I'd run the Malta half Marathan in London"

I give up.....?!?!?!?!?

Oil

Oil....A swear word at Spriggan Towers at the moment.....it has indeed been a substance that has caused wars between nations...and has certainly cost me a bit here.

As I am a self proclaimed lord of the blogs which entitles me to rip the proverbial out of anyone that enters my life .....sometimes on the old comments segment of the blog I can be left open to some feedbackthat could leave me red faced. In other words I'm dishing my own dirt before someone does it for me!

Well you see when it comes to my knowledge of cars I kinda stop at pedals steering wheel and gear lever. So when last week whilst speeding...(within the limit of course )towards my bass lesson i noticed that the engine warning light came on on my dash.It went after a few minutes ........ah well I thought can't of been anything too wrong. parked the car up ...Vanfest came and went and then last week whilst taking the rock star to school...it came on again and the car started to splutter so I parked 5 minutes short of school....So I got Rockstar to school . Mother Dearest beat the recovery man to me and picked up Mini Minx. After an hour a stab proof vested recovery man turned up (apparently he has been robbed at knife point for his Tom tom three times this year he was knocked out sparko by some bloke and is often threatened with his life as he tows away cars for The Metropolitan Police .......nasty lot those Met boys!)

Anyway the crux of this long winded piece of drivvle is that the car had insufficient oil in it.....ok ok ok !!!I've told you it's out ! I'm crap at maintaining cars ......so instead of about a £10 can of Oil it cost me over £200 as some crank thingamee bob was stuck due to some burnt oil on it.....obviously this has given Wifey license to bring up the episode every time money is mentioned. We are looking to sell the car anyway. We love it but we don't need a 4X4 anymore so not wanting to be in the Chelsea tractor brigade we want to sell it......Rockstar picks up on this and with a wagging finger and a scowl accross his eyebrows tells me...

"Now Dad...cos of you we are going to have to sell the 4x4! cos you didn't put Oil in it ......You should check your oil each week like mum does "

So there you have it........now Dark Marge before you feel the need to put the boot in whilst I'm prone ..I know you gave me a car maintenance book for Christmas about 15 years ago...well here is a shock........I didn't read it !!!!!(actually did come in handy a few years back but anyway)


Quick round up then.....Spriggan Mist are likely to have a guest singer to record Kultural Karma more news soon....
Oh yes the day after Mother dearest wrecked the market place in the town centre on her mobility scooter (see last blog) well knock me down my motherng out law (Wifey's mum of course) took out a whole shelving with hers at Woolies. I'm wondering if they are in competition ...bit like the Evil knieval/Eddie Kidd rivalry in the late 70s......shit showing my age now.

Vanfest-market pest

We were in Eddy our 1973 VW campervan …Vanfest bound . It was Friday it was dusk and it was raining …there was a fatal accident on the M5 so our Sat Nav decided (upon my suggestion to avoid M5) to take us to Malvern via Tewkesbury……Yes that‘s right it’s torrential rain and we were heading towards Tewkesbury……not the brightest of decisions we have ever made and as we drove past swollen river banks and fields that were submerged with water lapping up onto the roads our fears were compounded! (for foreign readers Tewkesbury was submerged by floods last year ).

Talking of foreign readers……….You from New Delhi!!!!!…It’s great you read my blog but I’m curious…who are you …email me at sprigganmist@sky.com please…..I’d like to hear from you . I’d like to hear from my American readers too…..Howdy!

Anyway we reached Vanfest 2008 with the rain lashing down and the awning was set up with some help from the brotherhood of dubbers (I didn’t need help I’ve done it many a time in the dark……putting up a tent that is ….but it’s nice to get help)…so wet muddy and tired we had what I call a bits and pits wash and settled into our sleeping bag and fell into a nice sleep ..the night club /entertainment marquee was close enough to hear the proceedings without being annoying and I pondered on Dark Marge’s text he sent me on the way down ….”are you at Anorakfest yet” Vanfest is way far not an anoraky event …ok you do get the long haired spectacled sandal brigade cooing and ahhing at an original splitty but on the whole for those three days Vanfest is a thriving city of 10,000 VW campervans .(about 8,000 this year)

Saturday morning came and I went out early with the dog to survey the mud situation ………it was muddy………..in places of Glastonbury proportions……I went back to Eddy and the family on the way saying good morning to the anorak polishing his camper at stoopid o’clock in the morning (well it was a metallic purple 1963 split screen which was of show and shine calibre!!!) and settled down for some bacon sausage and egg breakfast and waited in anticipation to start exploring Vanfest 2008. Now I won’t bore you with all the details but it is just fun fun fun ! We alas missed seeing the Drifters (yep it was really them ….I reckon they died years ago but some clever taxidermist has managed to stuff ‘em and string them like puppets ) The mini Spriggans were getting tired so we returned back to Eddy from the disco dressed as Cowboys and Indians( don’t ask……I’m still finding feathers in my hair!) and listened to them from the comfort of our beloved camper. We could have been back in a time warp about thirty plus years !!! .

Sunday was more of the same but we saw Titan the robot walking round……I want one ! ….Rock star our 7 year old nearly dropped a curly as this eight foot robot came towards us ! You got to all check him out he’s awesome.

Whilst we were busy dub’n ,Mother dearest was busy causing mayhem on her Mobility scooter………no……… really causing mayhem ! She was in Bracknell market buying some fruit and veg. She was sat on her “Ferrari” as the green grocer placed a bag in her front basket….Mother Dearest reached over her handle bars to tie the bag up…….didn’t realise her scooter was still on !!! she leaned on the forward button……she flew forward into the veg stall ! nearly somersaulting her off the back. Took out a trestle supporting a huge table full of fruit and veg …sending it all flying ! The greengrocer dived for cover! As MD tried to reverse out of a sea of cabbages her front basket got caught on another table sending that and her basket and it’s contents sprawling…..

So endeth the sermon for today...remember If you see a red mobility scooter trundling towards you today....calmly turn around ....and then run like snot off of a chickens lip !!!!!it might just be Mother Dearest and you are in great danger!

Froggin hell!

It was dark I was emptying the recycling at the side of Spriggan Towers …….ok ok I was committing fashion suicide I had me flip flops on …but hey it was a quick shifty outside ok. I felt something cold and wet cross my foot…..I looked down couldn’t see anything . I went back inside to fetch a torch to investigate and I could hear the commotion upstairs of the mini Spriggans going to bed Wifey struggling to carry out the procedure as it is at times like trying to shove a multitude of excited monkeys into a box……….not that we condone that sort of behaviour at Spriggan Mist of course.

I shined my torch down by the bins like a search light searching for escaped prisoners and then caught in the beam were a pair of beady eyes looking back at me……..No I hadn’t finally found the whereabouts of our former singer Boots “ the spaceboy” (more about him later)….but instead a frog looked back at me as if to say ……”what the froggin hell are you looking at?” I was going to take a picture to impress the mini Spriggans but Wifey was calling for assistance …offering me words of advice such as “Stop your flippin front garden frog safari and come and help out” Excitedly I told Mini Minx as she settled down to bed and my excitement was met with a matter of fact response …”Well there is a pond next door “ as if to say …get a grip.

So this weekend 10,000 VW campervans are descending on Malvern for Vanfest 2008. We are going down there with Berkshire Bugs (no that isn’t an illness it’s a VW club) Can’t wait, last year was a blast a weekend of camper van madness…..Wifey is promising to stay off the wine this year !?!?

Boots the Spaceboy has been in contact he has a solo venture going at the moment called Watching Planes…the project is named after a song he wrote of the same name that has reached the final of the UK song writing contest beating around 6,000 other songs. He might have some opportunities to play it live coming up. He has asked that we may assist him, so watch this space. It will be quite cool to link up with him again.

Anyway My Bass teacher has got me looking at the mighty Jaco Pastorius at the moment …….hmm it’s a bit like getting your Sunday league pub footballer to play like Ronaldinho. Jaco was really the Godfather of fretless bass and my head is full of playing octaves and harmonics apart from other things like Vanfest , food ,running and writing endless drivel about the life and times of me.

I’ll end today’s offerings with a Mr T blooper…….after reading my blog about mother dearest phoning my mobile to see when she was going to bring it back to me as she had it in her possession . Mr T thought he would phone me on my mobile to see if I had it….except he rang my landline and the joke kind of fell flat.

Healthy Shopping

Hooray! Schools are back. Rockstar proudly lined up as a Junior (key stage 2…ie year 3 ) His new teacher looked about 12 as he stood there in front of the class. So the daily routine will be settled again and in the next few weeks Mini minx starts big school too………(cue George Michael music….no not careless whisper??!?!??!?)…..Freedom!!!!!!!

So how’s my fight against BAFB going ?(Being A Fat Bast’d)…well on Saturday Wifey and I set off to Camberley (took the sproglets too) to find a specialist running shop as Wifey’s knee has started to hurt since starting running. Now as I’m battling against BAFB I erased the thought that entered my head upon arrival at Camberley that there is a cracking Chinese/Indian eat as much as you like restaurant called “So Asia” and I know Wifey was well thinking about it too but didn’t say anything….we must remain strong against these temptations resist the evils of fatness……. Rockstar suddenly piped up with …….”Dad can we go to that restaurant for dinner?” my mind was saying “No son Mummy and Daddy are portly people that need to reduce their food intake wouldn’t you prefer a lettuce leaf?” but what came out was “Yes son let’s go” We marched around Camberley looking for the specialist running shopping in order to get fit …couldn’t find it …so sod it ….. off to So Asia it was…….

After we gorged and guzzled fed and feasted we founds the shop they had us both on the treadmill filming our feet as we pounded down on the hapless machine…that quite frankly was going nowhere!!! Unlike my cocktail of chicken madras and sweet and sour pork balls . Anyway it turned out that Wifey is a moderate pronater but I’m a complete neutral runner ,in other words the way my foot treads when running is absolutely spot on straight where wifey’s are bent sort of anyway…before I knew it we were splashing big stylie on some really expensive Saucony trainers.

Early Sunday morning I went out for a run but to my disappointment the trainers didn’t do the running for me I still had to put in some effort although to be fair they are really comfy and I did knock off over 5 minutes off of my PB (ark at me eh??!??!?) for that distance. Weight is down to about 18stone 5 too. Which is amazing considering the So Asia trip.

We had to hurry home having battered our credit card again as SJ was coming over(do you remember her? Former Hot Machero singer ? niece? She had a dodgy Chinese meal in Brighton and ended up pregnant? …..you do ? cool) Well she brought over her baby……wow! she was just like a miniature version of SJ…looks around the room with that vacant expression …Pukes after she drinks too much …..laughs when you play peek a boo with her …and dribbles constantly…….two peas in a pod.

I think the Vatican should know about Cubase!!!! The Pope needs to denounce it as nothing more than Satin’s evil …for two weeks we have been slaving with Kultural Karma and it sounds half decent on Cubase but on exporting it I’m having issues ……it’s all a weird kind of science to me! I’d got so engrossed in trying to resolve my Cubase issues the other night that I realised about midnight I’d lost me mobile……..dum dum dahhh!!!! How could I survive so I rang it several times and I walked around the house listening for it …eventually Mother dearest answered it …..? She was in bed and could hear a strange noise coming from her sofa…upon further investigation she discovered my mobi which had fallen from my pocket when earlier that evening I jumped in to prone position on her settee pointing out how dry the room was and demanded some of her hotpot she was cooking for herself (my request was flatly denied ) well I suppose that was a bit cheeky…..So after getting Mother Dearest out of bed to answer my phone I let her go to sleep again …I remembered it was out of charge………so I rang it again …”Mother Dearest you couldn’t put it on charge for me could you ?” wasn’t really what she wanted to hear as she got out of bed the second time ….but hey ho! She chose to be my Mum!!!!!!!…..The next morning she arose from a somewhat interrupted sleep and thought ….she’d find out if I’d like her to bring my mobile phone round to me……….yep you guessed it…she rang my Mobi!!!!!!

Highs and lows

La La La Lahhhhhhhh! lo lo lo lohhhhhhhhhhhhh! Done three versions of vocals for Kultural Karma now and it isn't working yet...we've tried me singing high....sounds annoying...in tune but just annoying. Tried low but ift sounds like I'm so bored! tried the two together and it souns like Bucks Fizz!!!!!I'll try again tonight ...I'll try and sing it like I sang Dragut's eye.....kind of middle range type effort....God I wish I could sing it would make things a darn sight easier!

If you look right I have a poll for you to vote for your favourite Spriggan Mist Song from the Konditions of change EP. If you are undecided as to which you like the most (or dislike the least) or if you have never heard our stuff click on the Myspace link to hear the tunes in their entirety
At time of writing Dragut's eye is leading the poll as your favourite

I was on a high today as all the team were back at work and the usual fun filled banter filled the office ...it soon turned to a low as i was clearing my desk to take residency full time 3 miles away at the council. I mean don't get me wrong the council people are kind of cool but I will miss Mr T and the Road Runner on a daily basis.

tomorrow is the second anniversary of Father Dearest's passing ...it's hard to believe he was gone before I started writing these pages of lunacy. If alive today I would for sure be writing double the amount I do such was the mad cap world he existed in....the frightening thing is he looks at me in the mirror every morning and I have inherited his uncanny nack of getting myself in the cack!!!!

Anyway vote for the song!

Capers of Mother Dearest

So here we are again ...me tired at the computer mid morning. this time it was a culmination of recording til late and Mother Dearest falling ill in the middle of the night. Now before I make light of a very serious incident can i just point out that no Mother dearests were harmed in any way in the making of this blog and that all at Spriggan Towers wish to thank the Ambulance service for their speedy response and thankfully she is "A OK"............

So after pulling her cord the monitoring station do the neccesary and alert everyone and I arrived at MD's flat with the paramedic. Mother Dearest had been getting so dizzy that the room was spinning.....I pointed out that people paid good money to have that happen and I did check under the bed for discarded Newcky Brown cans but there were none......my next line of enquiry was ...was she dreaming of parachuting .......then pulled the cord? these suggestions were met with an icey stare.....It transpired she has Benine positional vertigo...in otherwords Mother Dearest is a dizzy wotnot!!!! didn't need a Paramedic and a Doctor to tell us that


It turned out it was not too serious be it most frightening at the time. I'm sure all you blog fans wish her well!....She's had a bit of a chequered couple of days has mother dearest really at the weekend she admitted to driving her Ferrari (red mobility scooter )whilst falling asleep.Can you imagine her driving down the road veering off to the left and the right like some kind of carry on film...snoring..........cars dodging this maniac asleep on her Scooter!knocking into market stalls......driving through them with cut price pink frillies sticking on her head and...then running over policemen who were directing traffic .....priceless.........when she got home she logged onto her email and moaned that she kept getting this email from a bloke called John Lewis ..........she didn't know a John Lewis and that he could go forth with his big shop?!?!?!?!?!

I'm sure all you sharp eye blog fans have noticed the gucci little gizmo at the side there telling you where readers were surfing on in to my blog....I've had people reading from New Delhi and Germany!!!!!!!!!!wow that is well cool. So here goes out a big shout to all our fans in India!.....oh and hello you from Germany !

Resist the candy shrimps!

Today I woke up grumpy...........she then got up and went to work ............no seriously we were both tired and grumpy cos of that ....that ...that thing ......sent from the devil himself.........yes that thing sent to make our recordings jump to life and and fly around the room in extreme hi- fidelity........bollox! the closest thing to our music flying at the moment is the computer out of the window complete with it's Cubase ,interface and the lot!!!! Many an evening and early morning spent nose in manuals and computer screens is after all plenty justification for grumpinus extremis to set in. We keep reminding ourselves that it will all come good in the end and we will laugh at these occassions of complete dumb founded ness and getting ourselves into complete mucking fuddles!

Dear sprigganites!!! (that's what Spriggan Mist fans are called and not SM fans as wifey called Dark Marge as he became one on facebook forcing me to get weird visions of The Marge in my head !!!!!!until she clarified what she meant.........twas a dark place I tell you.......far....far worse than Tesco's) any way dear Sprigganites.....let me update you on the Spriggan Mist scene as it stands at this time........

We are now on facebook. I have resisted the urge.up to now ..I find sending make believe candy shrimps ,bumping off friends with make believe gangsters and feeding or starving make believe puppies (depending on if you remember to feed them)rather tiresome ...wifey on the other hand is a serial facebookist ...? face booker? facebookerer....well you know what I mean. Toni Sant (the podcaster who played our songs recently bumping our views on myspace considerably ) has recently gone on there with great success so we created a band one and it has had a steady stream of visitors. We have had several Myspace "friends " attach too which is really cool. Dark Marge is working his creative magic in preparation for the official Spriggan Mist Website for which he will indeed be the webmaster. Expect a launch of that very soon. As soon as we have got to grips with Cubase the album will be out for Christmas time ...he says in hope! Just a sneak bit of news........do you remember Kultural Karma..the Stone Jesters song? written by Wifey for Spaceboy to sing then sang by a procession of singers until Scoobster sang it live? well we are Sprigganising that. It will sound more like it was intended to have sounded when first written Wifey informs me. I will be wailing on it ....but I must keep a book of past singers telephone numbers handy ...just in case...they are needed I reckon ha ha ha!!!!

Ok so my weight back from Malta soared to a whopping record breaking 18st 12lb....so I 've said enough is enough .......wifey and I are running the Malta half Marathon on March the 1st next year. Running has started be it slow and not so far but we are working well I'm down to about 18st 5lbs now Wifey is making similar progress. Regular updates via this blog as always

So what about Mother Dearest I hear you ask? ...........what do you mean you didn't? she was once a main protagonist on these pages ......now she either doesn't get up to mischief or just keeps shtum about it. She has been going on dribblies days out recently mind ......I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at these I would of had enough ammunition for a full length feature film in the same ilk as the carry on series let alone a blog. She has come out with a few choice "MD isms" recently like "Anouncing to her whole neighbourhood she needed a screw on her balcony. I was somewhat taken aback last week when she said she dropped a stool on her mobility scooter (The Ferrari) what she was actually saying was she had a faulty stool (a sitting on one) which she wanted me mend. Unfortunately with her mouth round the rim of a Tennants Supra it all came out wrong.

Before I go I have a wedding anouncement. My former boss Cruella is getting married to her bloke Big D. Long time readers of my blog ..... I would like to wish the both of them a great day...and that I'm still obeying the speed limit past their house ...and that if they play any embarrassing Village people records at their do...it has nothing to do with me!!!!!
All the best from all of us at Spriggan Towers!!!!

On our way home?

So here I sit oh dear reader in my t-shirt and shorts contemplating the last two weeks whilst clock watching as in the small ours we are homeward bound. Home ....funny word really. England is my current home...Malta is also ..my home except it has changed a bit since I lived here 15 years ago.
I have come to the conclusion that indeed the Maltese Highways agency have been on a 15 year shut down......I'm sure the roads are just as pot hole ridden as when I left and there are some stop lines that have not been painted since then too. Actually I'll correct myself here. They must have come back to work (Highways agency that is) for a week during the last year with a cheap stock load of no entry signs. I used to know the island like the back of my hand and I still do except that someone has made the whole island one way ...usually the wrong way from where I'm going....

Some things do however remain the same....silly signs...we've read "Chicken Dramsicks with chips 3 Euros" and "Mdina assworks" on a front of a glass blower's truck. For me however the best sign was at a shoe shop...."buy one get the second free" shit! that's jolly decent of them to let you have a pair!!!
Malta is a wonderful place(Pompey think so too ... I managed to secure the Air Malta sponsor whilst out here)
Family are wonderful and my Auntie Jessie and Uncle Giuzzi (more about him in a bit) have been wonderful Mini minx had her birthday whilst out here and they through the most wonderful party for her.....Wifey and I are have definitely put on weight with the fantastic food we have eaten.
We met with the Maltese composer and founder of the folk band Nafra, Ruben Zahra again. What a very knowledgeable Man he is and a real decent bloke he gave ...as promised a Zummara to wifey (a primitive Maltese reed instrument) look out for this strange little instrument in future Spriggan Mist songs. We also caught a glimpse of 60s Maltese music icon Freddie Portelli singing at Marsaskala....
As for the waist line ? well my Uncle Giuzzi is 70 he runs half marathons...he is an inspiration Wifey and I are going to run a half marathon on March 1st.....more details in the forthcoming blogs.
So i've just checked the weather forcast in blighty.....21 degrees and rainy....deep joy...back to work on Monday ...groan. so as I look out of my Aunty's kitchen window for the last time and look at the hazy Maltese skyline with little twinkly street lights dotted around and the flashes of distant fireworks from one of the village festas in full swing I ask myself .......exactly why is Freddie Portelli so popular still ?

Don Mario's big thighs

So you see...when in Rome do as the Romans do....when in Malta you have to visit the rellies. Now this isn't as bad as when my Dad was alive ...at times we felt like the flippin Pope...Don't get me wrong it's cool to see my Aunties and cousins but when you have to visit your second cousin twice removed's goldfish it can get a wee bit tedious. So the last few days were rellie days interspersed between trips to the beach and the splash and fun water park ....(which I hasten to add is ultimately cool now....and the recent rats in the pool controversy has been revealed to be but a malicious rumour by a disgruntled ex employee.....didn't see any rats me self ...a few crocca dila pigs doing aqua aerobics but no rats)

We were also invited to my cousin's house for the festa....now cousin lives in a "to ie for " apartment overlooking the grand harbour. His Dad and him have their own firm. (if you know what I mean) His Dad Uncle Mario(and my cousin ) are really cool blokes and I feel they have an eye for class. They deal in fresh meat and poultry and the topic of conversation always seems to come down to the size of Uncle Mario's thighs (chicken ones of course)So we are sat out on Cousin's balcony and he see's this sign newly positioned by his local council prohibiting BBQs in the area. This sign was really getting up my cousin's nose and mentioned it to his father. Uncle Mario looked at the sign between squinting eyes and I quote (granted via translation)" I'll send someone to sort it" this was accompanied by a knowing nod of the head by both him and his son. I think my Uncle is a Don........be it with big thighs.....

Old Mandos and new podcasts

Hi all of you over there in Blighty. What a week! We've managed to avoid any more brushes with the law and or waiters except wifey thought I was beng abusive to a waiter again this week (the Maltese word for bill as in food bill is kont!!!!!!)
So wifey's was well surprised when I shouted accross the restaurant "Il-Kont" It took me a few minutes to explain that I hadn't called the waiter a poorly fanny!

So apart from the usual holiday type things we took a catamaran up to Sicily and went up to Mount Etna...which is still smoking!!!!!! (told it to give up but there were no patches available) we walked around a crater and had a great day out. althought the Sicilians are crazy. Part of the tour is climbing up the winding roads of Etna in this coach. The guide kept pointing out buildings that have been buried by the frequent Lava sliding down from the too frequent eruptions over the years. So why build slap bang in the middle of the devastation a brand new five star hotel?????

Tuesday was a cool evening...well it wasn't it was hot but We did a cool thing. My Auntie Winnie has stashed away my Nannu's(grandfather's) Mandolin . He died in 1961 some ten years before I came about but he used to play this mando at home for years. We reckon it is over 70 years old. It hasn't been played properly for about 47 years. It was presented well cared for but in need of some help so wifey set about polishing with some dunlop 65 and some lemon oil. Then she re strung it with some new Ernie Ball strings witin the hour it was ready to play and it sounded beautiful. The old Mando still has my Nannu's pick scratches on it. Wifey said it strung like a dream and it certainly had a lovely sound to it, then rockstar played it I wondered if my Nannu all those years ago realised his great grandson would play that Mandolin......a great evening. I handed it back to Auntie Winnie who had many a tear in her eye.

Spriggan mist have been included on issue 125 of Muzika 'mod iehor ...the weekly podcast by Toni Zammit. This podcast is downloaded all over the world Toni played Lazy Stones and The Merry Mead. Our myspace had about 100 hits this week as a result. So we are well chuffed .....ok it's festa time tonight we are going to San Lawrenz in Vittoriosa!!! any way off for an afternoon nap cjow!!!!!

Making off without payment!

I sit here sweating my spriggan arse off.

Hi there all of you in blighty heard it has hasn't been great weather.....well it has been damn hot here and yesterday afternoon as I layed in the water in Rinella bay...I thought ah Mr t will be making good his escape from work at this time.

Anyway must be brief got lots to do today ...St Thomas bay beckons but it hasn't all been plain sailing....well you see it was getting late and we hadn't eaten in the evening so we decided to go to Senglea for a Pizza. Wifey,Rockstar and Minx were really hungry (so was I ) So we ordered some Pizzas and the waiter brought us some drinks ...the witer explained to me that there would be an hour wait as they were busy. Fair enough I said (well I didn't as I spoke in Maltese but you get the idea)I told him to get me the bill for the drinks and we'd make like shepherds to somewhere else it was just the kids were really hungry. He scuttled off and I heard a bit of commotion in the kitchen and the young waiter came back and explained that it would only be 20 minutes......I could live with that.

Forty five minutes later we sat there turning to skeletons !!!Wifey instructed me to ask the waiter for an update and another diet kinnie. Which I did but another 10 minutes went by ....no Pizzas no Kinnie. I asked again and the reply was that they were in the oven .....hmmm now call me cynical but I noticed that there was a lot of take away orders to-ing and fro-ing .......So I went into the restaurant and asked the wairter who was behind the counter in the open kitchen bit...I put on my most polite of voices " Mate any chance we can find out how long the pizzas are going to be" The young waiter turned to his boss and chef and repeated the question . The chef possibly not realising my command of the Maltese tongue snapped "It wil be ready when it will be ready" The waiter cringed but I leant over the counter and said still quite politely " you said what?" the chef knowinghe had hit the point of no return started bleating " people time work ,waiters waiting " So I slipped bout five levels down into gutter Maltese loaded up two barrls of shit and unleashed the simultaneously at warp speed in this packed restaurant..." I explained that 20 minutes had turned to an hour and that i was quite willing to go as they had courteously told me there had been a wait but as now they had lied they could take their Pizzas and stick them where the Maltese sun will definitely not reign down" I told a bewildered Wifey to grab the kids we were not eating at this establishment. so we marched up the road ....as I reached the hire car...I see the hapless waiter running after me as he got to the hire car I span round which made waiter screech to a halt " but you haven't paid for your drinks" After a brief conversation he scuttled back muttering about how it was going to come out of his pay and it wasn't fair. We jumped in the car and went to Cospicua and back to friendly territory and got take away pizzas which took 10 minutes...we sat on my Auntie's boat eating our pizzas .......so technically i did a bilking ....it felt good and my Dad would of been proud....

anyway off to the beach!!!!!

Inuendos,Aftershave and Rhubarb

56.......56 views of this blog in four days.........who are you? .......where did you find my blog? and why don't you leave messages......I'd love to know who actually reads my dribble.

I know the blog last but one got some interest after I exposed Mr T as a sex pest.
I mean I started this blog to journal the life and times of a rock band...but every so often I like to give you readers the facts. As a supreme Lord of the blogs it is both my duty and certainly my right to throw the proverbial cat amongst the pidgeons. So when I was approached by one of the Three Amigos in the next office with some information I feel I have to do a bit of investigative blogging.

You see the Three Amigos do a slightly different job to the rest of us in the office so they get locked in a corner room, you know every building has them. I'm sure they are really busy people and they are experts in their own field ,it's just no one sees them working?!?!?!? They are an interesting bunch that I feel worthy of gracing my pages. You have Gof.....Grumpy Old....Ffffellow..extremely important person he tells us .....but if you imagine he kind of talks like a cross between Stephen Fry and the Gungun king out of Star Wars. He feels i have obviously too much "F@2£king time on my hands " to write my blog. then we have the amazing shrinking man! this guy has lost four stone very quickly ......then being a Sunderland supporter the worry must take it's toll. Then we have Mr Incredible. ....why? ...well he's tall blonde, (kind of gingery s'pose )carrying (like me) a little bit of extra weight....and every so often just like Mr Incredible at the most inoportune moment has a crippling back ache that locks..

So it was Mr Incredible that had been reading the blogs and had some real concern about Mr T (sounds like an episode of Mr men dunnit) He looked left and right touched his nose and said quietly to me ...."I walked into your office the other day and Mr t was the only one in there".....I had fears for what he was going to say next as he paused to take a look round ...."He had aftershave on" the office apparently reeked of cologne du Misier T!......so why all of a sudden has he taken to wearing .....aftershave...dum dum dah!!!! I whipped out my clues book and scribbled it down. It felt like Macyntyre investigates! (although you can stop right there if you think I'm getting a Leeds Utd tattoo to infiltrate the dark and murky world of Mr T.) Then there was the question of the Rhubarb. Cruella had delivered some rhubarb for us yet mysteriously it has dissappeared in T's custody.......the plot thickens ...inuendos..aftershave and rhubarb......the net is closing in on Mr T.....I will update as soon as I have more news.........on the other hand maybe I need this holiday more than I thought.

The other day I was working in the office and the rabble from the other side of the office came in and spoilt my listening of Toni Sant's 110th podcast..One of the oompah loompas asked me if I could play Dakota by the phonics.......so I span my Ipod wheel round navigated it to Dakota and out it blasted after a request to crank it up. The requests came thick and fast there on and before long I was standing at my computer sweat pooring head phone in one ear, nodding my head to the beat, giving out shouts to the Stinkwell massive (as that side of the office call themselves).....I nearly shouted "come on everybody let's make some noisssssssssssssssssssse!" .....................but that would of been silly and the outbreak of morale would of had to of been stamped upon by our heirachy.

Hey last day of work for a long time .........this is indeed the last blog from Blighty for a while, the next will be from the island of Malta .....

Spriggan Mist on Podcast

Poddata is a new maltese word for me.When I was brought up on the island the internet was unheard of as well as the PC really so the Maltese word for Podcast is a new one.

One thing I do remember is a progie on the only Maltese telly channel at the time Xandir Malta (pronounced : Shan-deer Malta) called Garaxx (translated Garage)It was a cool programme I remember as it had modern Maltese bands on it and i remembe the host to be a guy called Toni Sant. He had wild curly hair and specs. He was quite well known on radio i think at the time.....Well you know what happens you move away from the island and you reckon it and it's people stay in a time warp......(some aspects of both have....some what re assuring and also somewhat disturbing in places)


Like me in the early 90s Toni came to England. Toni is the founder of MaltaMedia and has been the creative director since 1998. He lectures on Performance and Creative Technologies at the University of Hull's Scarborough Campus, and edits the Applied and Interactive Theatre Guide. Every weekend he produces a podcast called Mużika Mod Iehor featuring music by performers in or from Malta.This is a wonderful vehicle for Maltese performers both living in Malta and abroad and Toni although away from Malta has kept up his support for the Maltese singer/musician which is fantastic. I also feel that since I left Malta the standard of Maltese music has definitely risen. This I can attribute to the internet....much more is available to the maltese musician and with the dawn of home recording and vehicles such as Myspace Maltese musicians have been able to keep up and in some instances surpass some of their European cousins in terms of quality of sound and performance (although please don't mention eurovision as this has little to do with the music or indeed talent)

I have been listening to these podcasts and wondered.(where did his big hair go...sameplace as mine probably).....and would Spriggan Mist get a look in? So I sent him a quick email and within minutes a reply came back that he would include a track of ours in one of the forthcoming "Poddati"

Having listened to the podcasts we will be in good company and Wifey and I are chuffed to bits. Toni's podacast appears to be well listened to especially within the Maltese music community and has been running weekly since 2005 and is on it's 125th edition .As soon as we get news of when we are on and what Toni chooses to play I will let you all know

Mr T's haircut

It's been weeks now. Road runner and I have been telling Mr T he looked like an extra from the film Car wash his hair was getting bushy if not a little grey too. Well T is pushing the big 50 you know!!!
Something strange has happened to him though...the normal quiet mild mannered office dweller turned into a sex fiend....
Our airconditioning has packed up in the office...typical on the hottest week of the year to date and as temperatures hit 29 degrees, the gun toting finnish swedish chef said her trousers were making her feel hot....quite an innocent statement you would think.....T in his "Bratford" drawl spins round and says "why don't you take them off" I dropped my pen! Roadrunner's jaw hit the desk with a thump (or thooomp....she's from oop north) well we never! then he insisted the gun toting swedish /finnish chef tell all about a "dirty weekend " she just had......which was actually news to her too. It's all very highly irregular and we are investigating the cause of the sudden change in tact and diplomacy.......talking of which i slipped up with my piercing...forgot to plaster it up yesterday went for an office meetinmg and realised too late ....my boss ...Big foot was looking at me strange .....I could see that she was looking at me as if to say "why are you not looking straight at me?" i was acting like my neck wouldn't turn hiding the left side of my face suddenly she looked at me quickly and she saw it " I thought you cut your ear shaving she remarked....thought it was taking a long time to heal....." (4 weeks actually)....She is not in the office much this week and after I come back from Malta it should be healed enough to take out whilst at work.......I've managed it phew! Tell you what I bet Cruella wouldn't of had it......quite rightly so of course...rules is rules!Talking of which ...Cruella! if you are reading where is the rhubarb? Mr T wetted our appetite for it now !!!

Work on Spriggan Mist's album is going slow. We are having buzz troubles at the moment .... we are struggiling to get that clear sound when recording vocals and recorders.This probably due to our lack of knowledge and I find delays extremely annoying and admittedly get grumpy.....ok wifey i've admitted it, I do get grumpy!
It didn't help that yesterday the heavens opened up and a violent dramatic hail storm broke out and flooded next door (first dog poo now flood)But the new song is kind of ready to record. We think we know how we can play live too using samples played back through our Boss BR900CD which should just take out the tracks we want if set up correctly (although degree in modern physics is a requirement to understanding the shitting thing)

ok kids are up...parental duties apply....more on the trials and tribulations of me later on this week....might fit another in before Malta...depends what you lot do around me!

The Final Countdown

Cue really tacky eighties keyboard fanfare like intro........cue prety faced scandanavian leather clad blokes with lip gloss and dodgy perms.........cue drums and guitars ......"it's a final countdown!!!!"

Well you get the jist.......Yes it's the countdown to the annual Spriggan's Mist holiday. In fact my next blog will probably be from the summery climes of Malta hurrrrrrrrrah! Sun,sea, sand and snoring!this year we will be neolithic temple visiting........wifey will be hoping to get some inspiration from them. also hoping to hire a guitar for her to strum away........personally the thought of being away from my bass for about two weeks is a real bummer!!!!! I bet I end up going into a muic shop for a play!!!!!!!

So apart from selling my soul to folk rock what else have i been upto this week huh?
Well on Thursday Lil Miss Chavster graced the Spriggan's den with her presence along with her Dad (wifey's brother ...Doggit) and her brother Moon boy.....yep new name for the little Emo...his jeans are so far down his thighs (some fashion thing apparently) he is in a constant state of mooning.

Anyway without further ado it transpires that down in Weymouth where they live. Hot Machero (and later Stone Jesters) had a bit of a cult following amongst the Chavettes . You see up here near london kids walk down the road with their phones blaring out some bad songs that they "spit" their rhymes too as they chill out outside their yard with their Bois and bitches...brap! But down in Weymouth they is gettin it Dan to a bit of old Hot Machero belting out Dakota....That's really cool and we are obviously chuffed to bits...........but by heck are you lot in the dark ages down there.

Of course now that band is no more we are giving Spriggan Mist the hard sell.....Sent down with their own EP and one to play in their B and B hopefully we will get a sale out of it as holiday makers eat their sausage,bacon and eggs they can hear all about Turkish generals who get their heads put on steaks in the great siege of Malta in 1565. All good educational stuff!!!
I expect their business will go up even more now they play Spriggan mist at breakfast.......or not we'll see.
Lil Miss Chavster does feel her Aunt and Uncle are kinda cool though and I have (I feel ) inspired her to write her own blog which is quite funny...if not a bit scarey .It's not often you get an insight into the thoughts and the world of a 15 year old girl living in Weymouth....and quite frankly a good job too! She'll hate me for saying this but .....it can be a bit Vicky Pollardish at times but I kind of think it adds to the appeal I'll post a link to her page if anyone is interested.
As the Weymouth branch of the Spriggan Mist fan club grows I'm sure she will feature regularly in this blog.

A new girl has started at the office......she's American...very American.....Now i have no problems with Americans at all......apart from their sport is only really played in their country like American Football and baseball and then their national championships are called stuff like World series......and stuff like "Saving Private Ryan".......good film and all that but flippin hell I'm sure there were some brits at Normandy !!!!!! they think World War two started in 1942...etc...etc.. i could go on and on (apparently I invariably do) but little Yankee doodle crossed the line this week...oh boy! oh yes.......she said that ....that The Americans invented the Boy Scouts!!!! I know I know she knows not what she says .

That boer war hero Lord Baden Powell would be turning in his grave......So the whole first camp on Brown sea island in poole in 1907 was made up was it????!?!?!? I remonstrated accross the office.....later she went on to complain that the British went to America turfed out the natives took their land and were generally really bad eggs.....ok this may be true.....but what language was she speaking in ...exactly English......she also wants to become the first female president of the US (she has just finished a law degree) I asked ....why? her answer was that there was the need for a good women in the office at the White house.....I paused looked around, the whole office was listening to the banter.......then i uttered the sentence which was to silence her....." well didn't you have Monica Lewinski?" The guy next to me nearly pissed himself. i refrianed fron saying "She did a good job" but put my anti arse hole device in my ears (my Ipod head phones)People don't talk to me when i have these on.....suits me!

Well the neighbours are back from their holiday. Rolf (their eldest) so called cos he came back from uni with a full beard glasses and curly hair was outside the house he hadn't gone on holiday with his parents but stayed at home.....I enquired what was wrong as he looked at his Dad's faithfull red F reg Volvo. He whispered to me that the rest of the family had just travelled back from Dorset with their Labrador called coco in the back......unfortunately Coco (which in maltese is slang for shit) did exactly that...he shit himself ....he had a very upset little tummy......I just had visions of them pulling up at the services and their being a 50 metre exclusion zone around their red volvo!!!!!! Rolf and i sniggered like naughty schoolboy. Crap like that makes me laugh......

Spriggan Mist Go International

I kid you not ........!!!! not only have CD s been bought by residents of the Netherlands....but a DJ in Cleveland in the USA has promised to play a track from our EP Konditions of change on air. She is a friend of our baby sitter extraordanaire best friend M. She is going to let us know when and what time ...(and the channel ) and hopefully we'll listen on line.

So what's next for Spriggan Mist?.......well it's the album.....out by Christmas we hope. It will feature a couple of tracks from the EP some of the backing tracks from the meditation CD we did with Freya but souped up a bit with some guitars etc...
Also we have the songs Kultural Karma and The Wrong tune from the Jesters to sprigganise!!!!!

All the Jesters agred they would assist if called upon which is wicked especially the Barabanshik and tha voice of the scoobs!

I've literally just pulled the plug on the Stone Jesters myspace my finger hovered over the button ....then i hit it........ gone ......history .....a blast here is some pictures from the last 18 months

In the church loft

Chippy!


SJ!


First Gig as Hot Machero at the Boot with SJ cooke, Eric Tomlinson and Dom


The Uxbridge gigs joined by Armen Gevorkian and Kieron Ryan




St joseph's 2007




The Kris Wilkins era



As the Stone Jesters...The last lineup....with Ant. Sheilagh Anne and Yatesy.....we rocked!!!!!


The future...Spriggan Mist

Stone Jesters ......disbanding

February 2007 wifey and i embarked on a journey of self discovery. Could a Mum and Dad in their late 30s start a rock band ?. I feel I ought to announce that this part of the “experiment” is over. We played two very good gigs and it felt finally we were getting somewhere only for a mainstay in the band to announce he was off. On a weekend of contemplation Wifey and i feel that doing the covers thing at parties and weddings wasn’t sitting comfortable but the Folk rock side of our personas was tapping away at us demanding more attention.
As we belted out Johnny B Goode last weekend it dawned on me that the audience loved it and wanted more....we’d only learned one Rock n roll song it was evident we needed to learn some more.
But i didn’t want to do rock n roll i didn’t want to play things that really don’t interest me. To get gigs you need to be liked, to be liked you need to play a full range of stuff. Why do we want gigs? It’s not a money thing although it was nice to get some. It was all about self discovery but things have progressed and we know what direction we are going in. I suppose what i ‘m trying to say is Stone jesters has reached a point where we don’t want to go anymore but Spriggan Mist on the other hand is fresh exciting and where we want to go.
In a nut shell The stone jesters are no more.

It started with just Wifey and me........it’s still just wifey and I
Check out my blogs still !......I’ve renamed it
“Life at the Low end”

A Relaxing Evening !

Things were getting frantic!!!!!!........My seven year old Rockstar sat in the back of the car in his booster looking worried .........there was only one thing for it.......phone Mother dearest!

Rockstar was dressed in his Beavers uniform complete with scarf and woggle it was his first night away with them at a campsite the other side of Ascot. I'd glanced at the map earlier in the day and decided I knew where it was. Wifey was away in Northampton and had taken the Sat Nav...so in true Scouts stylie I felt " prepared" and set off early. Mini Minx was staying with her Nanna which meant that I was a free spirit doing exactly what I wanted for the night and the next morning . I was expecting uninterrupted relaxation. I trundled up and down this road looking for this site but to no avail . It was 1815......I had till 1845 to find them so I wasn't worried.....by 1830 I was getting worried . The phone call into control went in Mother dearest perched her self at her PC and guided me into the campsite like a guided missile hitting its target ..................not!

Instead I got a series of expletives about her PC crashing freezing or the map not being big enough. Lefts rights road names in Windlesham and a set menu for three at the Chinese restaurant.

It was 1840....I was panicking...."just read the flippin map !" I screamed ...

"I can't it's a crap map"......she replied.....(I thought this might be a good follow up for Dora the Explorer.....you could have the "Back pack " song then the "Crap map" song ......hey ho I digress...back to the panic)

I'm now driving around these country roads looking for the campsite...I asked a local but she was as useful as a fart in a sleeping bag............then there was my only hope...........Dark Marge would be pinned to his PC this time of night........I'll phone him in Dorset to look at a map to guide me in, in Berkshire. So I phone him and thankfully he guided me there ......Rockstar slid in to the camp at 1845 and as they were falling in doing the Beaver song (!!??!?!) I made his bed up for him and slid away ......hot bothered not in the slightest relaxed .

That night I recorded a song all on my own.......at the time I thought it was the bees but by morning when I listened to it again twas awful!!!!!! I packed a bag and bounced off to the gym...it was shut lack of staff wasn't opening to the afternoon...pants pants pants!!!! I went running and hit some bag instead......(bag as in punch bag not some random grumpy old woman)..Chaos was restored to my life when the children arrived back that afternoon and I promised they could camp in the garden ....so last night I had my nose pressed up against the side of the tent all night as my children spread themselves out ...I was awoken to the sound of Kaiser chiefs from Rockstars I-pod ...............at 700 hours!

My life is far from ordinary...back to being a rock god tomorrow!