Wednesday 27 August 2008

Resist the candy shrimps!

Today I woke up grumpy...........she then got up and went to work ............no seriously we were both tired and grumpy cos of that ....that ...that thing ......sent from the devil himself.........yes that thing sent to make our recordings jump to life and and fly around the room in extreme hi- fidelity........bollox! the closest thing to our music flying at the moment is the computer out of the window complete with it's Cubase ,interface and the lot!!!! Many an evening and early morning spent nose in manuals and computer screens is after all plenty justification for grumpinus extremis to set in. We keep reminding ourselves that it will all come good in the end and we will laugh at these occassions of complete dumb founded ness and getting ourselves into complete mucking fuddles!

Dear sprigganites!!! (that's what Spriggan Mist fans are called and not SM fans as wifey called Dark Marge as he became one on facebook forcing me to get weird visions of The Marge in my head !!!!!!until she clarified what she meant.........twas a dark place I tell you.......far....far worse than Tesco's) any way dear Sprigganites.....let me update you on the Spriggan Mist scene as it stands at this time........

We are now on facebook. I have resisted the urge.up to now ..I find sending make believe candy shrimps ,bumping off friends with make believe gangsters and feeding or starving make believe puppies (depending on if you remember to feed them)rather tiresome ...wifey on the other hand is a serial facebookist ...? face booker? facebookerer....well you know what I mean. Toni Sant (the podcaster who played our songs recently bumping our views on myspace considerably ) has recently gone on there with great success so we created a band one and it has had a steady stream of visitors. We have had several Myspace "friends " attach too which is really cool. Dark Marge is working his creative magic in preparation for the official Spriggan Mist Website for which he will indeed be the webmaster. Expect a launch of that very soon. As soon as we have got to grips with Cubase the album will be out for Christmas time ...he says in hope! Just a sneak bit of news........do you remember Kultural Karma..the Stone Jesters song? written by Wifey for Spaceboy to sing then sang by a procession of singers until Scoobster sang it live? well we are Sprigganising that. It will sound more like it was intended to have sounded when first written Wifey informs me. I will be wailing on it ....but I must keep a book of past singers telephone numbers handy ...just in case...they are needed I reckon ha ha ha!!!!

Ok so my weight back from Malta soared to a whopping record breaking 18st 12lb....so I 've said enough is enough .......wifey and I are running the Malta half Marathon on March the 1st next year. Running has started be it slow and not so far but we are working well I'm down to about 18st 5lbs now Wifey is making similar progress. Regular updates via this blog as always

So what about Mother Dearest I hear you ask? ...........what do you mean you didn't? she was once a main protagonist on these pages ......now she either doesn't get up to mischief or just keeps shtum about it. She has been going on dribblies days out recently mind ......I wish I could have been a fly on the wall at these I would of had enough ammunition for a full length feature film in the same ilk as the carry on series let alone a blog. She has come out with a few choice "MD isms" recently like "Anouncing to her whole neighbourhood she needed a screw on her balcony. I was somewhat taken aback last week when she said she dropped a stool on her mobility scooter (The Ferrari) what she was actually saying was she had a faulty stool (a sitting on one) which she wanted me mend. Unfortunately with her mouth round the rim of a Tennants Supra it all came out wrong.

Before I go I have a wedding anouncement. My former boss Cruella is getting married to her bloke Big D. Long time readers of my blog ..... I would like to wish the both of them a great day...and that I'm still obeying the speed limit past their house ...and that if they play any embarrassing Village people records at their do...it has nothing to do with me!!!!!
All the best from all of us at Spriggan Towers!!!!

Saturday 16 August 2008

On our way home?

So here I sit oh dear reader in my t-shirt and shorts contemplating the last two weeks whilst clock watching as in the small ours we are homeward bound. Home ....funny word really. England is my current home...Malta is also ..my home except it has changed a bit since I lived here 15 years ago.
I have come to the conclusion that indeed the Maltese Highways agency have been on a 15 year shut down......I'm sure the roads are just as pot hole ridden as when I left and there are some stop lines that have not been painted since then too. Actually I'll correct myself here. They must have come back to work (Highways agency that is) for a week during the last year with a cheap stock load of no entry signs. I used to know the island like the back of my hand and I still do except that someone has made the whole island one way ...usually the wrong way from where I'm going....

Some things do however remain the same....silly signs...we've read "Chicken Dramsicks with chips 3 Euros" and "Mdina assworks" on a front of a glass blower's truck. For me however the best sign was at a shoe shop...."buy one get the second free" shit! that's jolly decent of them to let you have a pair!!!
Malta is a wonderful place(Pompey think so too ... I managed to secure the Air Malta sponsor whilst out here)
Family are wonderful and my Auntie Jessie and Uncle Giuzzi (more about him in a bit) have been wonderful Mini minx had her birthday whilst out here and they through the most wonderful party for her.....Wifey and I are have definitely put on weight with the fantastic food we have eaten.
We met with the Maltese composer and founder of the folk band Nafra, Ruben Zahra again. What a very knowledgeable Man he is and a real decent bloke he gave ...as promised a Zummara to wifey (a primitive Maltese reed instrument) look out for this strange little instrument in future Spriggan Mist songs. We also caught a glimpse of 60s Maltese music icon Freddie Portelli singing at Marsaskala....
As for the waist line ? well my Uncle Giuzzi is 70 he runs half marathons...he is an inspiration Wifey and I are going to run a half marathon on March 1st.....more details in the forthcoming blogs.
So i've just checked the weather forcast in blighty.....21 degrees and rainy....deep joy...back to work on Monday ...groan. so as I look out of my Aunty's kitchen window for the last time and look at the hazy Maltese skyline with little twinkly street lights dotted around and the flashes of distant fireworks from one of the village festas in full swing I ask myself .......exactly why is Freddie Portelli so popular still ?

Tuesday 12 August 2008

Don Mario's big thighs

So you see...when in Rome do as the Romans do....when in Malta you have to visit the rellies. Now this isn't as bad as when my Dad was alive ...at times we felt like the flippin Pope...Don't get me wrong it's cool to see my Aunties and cousins but when you have to visit your second cousin twice removed's goldfish it can get a wee bit tedious. So the last few days were rellie days interspersed between trips to the beach and the splash and fun water park ....(which I hasten to add is ultimately cool now....and the recent rats in the pool controversy has been revealed to be but a malicious rumour by a disgruntled ex employee.....didn't see any rats me self ...a few crocca dila pigs doing aqua aerobics but no rats)

We were also invited to my cousin's house for the festa....now cousin lives in a "to ie for " apartment overlooking the grand harbour. His Dad and him have their own firm. (if you know what I mean) His Dad Uncle Mario(and my cousin ) are really cool blokes and I feel they have an eye for class. They deal in fresh meat and poultry and the topic of conversation always seems to come down to the size of Uncle Mario's thighs (chicken ones of course)So we are sat out on Cousin's balcony and he see's this sign newly positioned by his local council prohibiting BBQs in the area. This sign was really getting up my cousin's nose and mentioned it to his father. Uncle Mario looked at the sign between squinting eyes and I quote (granted via translation)" I'll send someone to sort it" this was accompanied by a knowing nod of the head by both him and his son. I think my Uncle is a Don........be it with big thighs.....

Saturday 9 August 2008

Old Mandos and new podcasts

Hi all of you over there in Blighty. What a week! We've managed to avoid any more brushes with the law and or waiters except wifey thought I was beng abusive to a waiter again this week (the Maltese word for bill as in food bill is kont!!!!!!)
So wifey's was well surprised when I shouted accross the restaurant "Il-Kont" It took me a few minutes to explain that I hadn't called the waiter a poorly fanny!

So apart from the usual holiday type things we took a catamaran up to Sicily and went up to Mount Etna...which is still smoking!!!!!! (told it to give up but there were no patches available) we walked around a crater and had a great day out. althought the Sicilians are crazy. Part of the tour is climbing up the winding roads of Etna in this coach. The guide kept pointing out buildings that have been buried by the frequent Lava sliding down from the too frequent eruptions over the years. So why build slap bang in the middle of the devastation a brand new five star hotel?????

Tuesday was a cool evening...well it wasn't it was hot but We did a cool thing. My Auntie Winnie has stashed away my Nannu's(grandfather's) Mandolin . He died in 1961 some ten years before I came about but he used to play this mando at home for years. We reckon it is over 70 years old. It hasn't been played properly for about 47 years. It was presented well cared for but in need of some help so wifey set about polishing with some dunlop 65 and some lemon oil. Then she re strung it with some new Ernie Ball strings witin the hour it was ready to play and it sounded beautiful. The old Mando still has my Nannu's pick scratches on it. Wifey said it strung like a dream and it certainly had a lovely sound to it, then rockstar played it I wondered if my Nannu all those years ago realised his great grandson would play that Mandolin......a great evening. I handed it back to Auntie Winnie who had many a tear in her eye.

Spriggan mist have been included on issue 125 of Muzika 'mod iehor ...the weekly podcast by Toni Zammit. This podcast is downloaded all over the world Toni played Lazy Stones and The Merry Mead. Our myspace had about 100 hits this week as a result. So we are well chuffed .....ok it's festa time tonight we are going to San Lawrenz in Vittoriosa!!! any way off for an afternoon nap cjow!!!!!

Tuesday 5 August 2008

Making off without payment!

I sit here sweating my spriggan arse off.

Hi there all of you in blighty heard it has hasn't been great weather.....well it has been damn hot here and yesterday afternoon as I layed in the water in Rinella bay...I thought ah Mr t will be making good his escape from work at this time.

Anyway must be brief got lots to do today ...St Thomas bay beckons but it hasn't all been plain sailing....well you see it was getting late and we hadn't eaten in the evening so we decided to go to Senglea for a Pizza. Wifey,Rockstar and Minx were really hungry (so was I ) So we ordered some Pizzas and the waiter brought us some drinks ...the witer explained to me that there would be an hour wait as they were busy. Fair enough I said (well I didn't as I spoke in Maltese but you get the idea)I told him to get me the bill for the drinks and we'd make like shepherds to somewhere else it was just the kids were really hungry. He scuttled off and I heard a bit of commotion in the kitchen and the young waiter came back and explained that it would only be 20 minutes......I could live with that.

Forty five minutes later we sat there turning to skeletons !!!Wifey instructed me to ask the waiter for an update and another diet kinnie. Which I did but another 10 minutes went by ....no Pizzas no Kinnie. I asked again and the reply was that they were in the oven .....hmmm now call me cynical but I noticed that there was a lot of take away orders to-ing and fro-ing .......So I went into the restaurant and asked the wairter who was behind the counter in the open kitchen bit...I put on my most polite of voices " Mate any chance we can find out how long the pizzas are going to be" The young waiter turned to his boss and chef and repeated the question . The chef possibly not realising my command of the Maltese tongue snapped "It wil be ready when it will be ready" The waiter cringed but I leant over the counter and said still quite politely " you said what?" the chef knowinghe had hit the point of no return started bleating " people time work ,waiters waiting " So I slipped bout five levels down into gutter Maltese loaded up two barrls of shit and unleashed the simultaneously at warp speed in this packed restaurant..." I explained that 20 minutes had turned to an hour and that i was quite willing to go as they had courteously told me there had been a wait but as now they had lied they could take their Pizzas and stick them where the Maltese sun will definitely not reign down" I told a bewildered Wifey to grab the kids we were not eating at this establishment. so we marched up the road ....as I reached the hire car...I see the hapless waiter running after me as he got to the hire car I span round which made waiter screech to a halt " but you haven't paid for your drinks" After a brief conversation he scuttled back muttering about how it was going to come out of his pay and it wasn't fair. We jumped in the car and went to Cospicua and back to friendly territory and got take away pizzas which took 10 minutes...we sat on my Auntie's boat eating our pizzas .......so technically i did a bilking ....it felt good and my Dad would of been proud....

anyway off to the beach!!!!!

Friday 1 August 2008

Inuendos,Aftershave and Rhubarb

56.......56 views of this blog in four days.........who are you? .......where did you find my blog? and why don't you leave messages......I'd love to know who actually reads my dribble.

I know the blog last but one got some interest after I exposed Mr T as a sex pest.
I mean I started this blog to journal the life and times of a rock band...but every so often I like to give you readers the facts. As a supreme Lord of the blogs it is both my duty and certainly my right to throw the proverbial cat amongst the pidgeons. So when I was approached by one of the Three Amigos in the next office with some information I feel I have to do a bit of investigative blogging.

You see the Three Amigos do a slightly different job to the rest of us in the office so they get locked in a corner room, you know every building has them. I'm sure they are really busy people and they are experts in their own field ,it's just no one sees them working?!?!?!? They are an interesting bunch that I feel worthy of gracing my pages. You have Gof.....Grumpy Old....Ffffellow..extremely important person he tells us .....but if you imagine he kind of talks like a cross between Stephen Fry and the Gungun king out of Star Wars. He feels i have obviously too much "F@2£king time on my hands " to write my blog. then we have the amazing shrinking man! this guy has lost four stone very quickly ......then being a Sunderland supporter the worry must take it's toll. Then we have Mr Incredible. ....why? ...well he's tall blonde, (kind of gingery s'pose )carrying (like me) a little bit of extra weight....and every so often just like Mr Incredible at the most inoportune moment has a crippling back ache that locks..

So it was Mr Incredible that had been reading the blogs and had some real concern about Mr T (sounds like an episode of Mr men dunnit) He looked left and right touched his nose and said quietly to me ...."I walked into your office the other day and Mr t was the only one in there".....I had fears for what he was going to say next as he paused to take a look round ...."He had aftershave on" the office apparently reeked of cologne du Misier T!......so why all of a sudden has he taken to wearing .....aftershave...dum dum dah!!!! I whipped out my clues book and scribbled it down. It felt like Macyntyre investigates! (although you can stop right there if you think I'm getting a Leeds Utd tattoo to infiltrate the dark and murky world of Mr T.) Then there was the question of the Rhubarb. Cruella had delivered some rhubarb for us yet mysteriously it has dissappeared in T's custody.......the plot thickens ...inuendos..aftershave and rhubarb......the net is closing in on Mr T.....I will update as soon as I have more news.........on the other hand maybe I need this holiday more than I thought.

The other day I was working in the office and the rabble from the other side of the office came in and spoilt my listening of Toni Sant's 110th podcast..One of the oompah loompas asked me if I could play Dakota by the phonics.......so I span my Ipod wheel round navigated it to Dakota and out it blasted after a request to crank it up. The requests came thick and fast there on and before long I was standing at my computer sweat pooring head phone in one ear, nodding my head to the beat, giving out shouts to the Stinkwell massive (as that side of the office call themselves).....I nearly shouted "come on everybody let's make some noisssssssssssssssssssse!" .....................but that would of been silly and the outbreak of morale would of had to of been stamped upon by our heirachy.

Hey last day of work for a long time .........this is indeed the last blog from Blighty for a while, the next will be from the island of Malta .....