Friday 29 June 2007

And now........live from Uxbridge

The Uxbridge gig went great ..much better than The Boot gig. Crowd of about 100 peeps very appreciative and loud! We have been asked to do another charity gig by the organisor supporting Vyners Swing Band...and the club manager wants to hire us ....loads of positive feedback...we’re very happy........but we could and will be better we glossed over quite a few mistakes but nothing too glaring! We had a great time ...Diddly Sqwat were cool although we got the better deal for time slot I feel as they were put on way too late.
Must dash tomorrow is the Fete gig we’re indoors cos of the severe weather warning will update properly after the weekend ...The Holy one steps in for Diddler who is away with his Linda watching Genesis in concert........in Paris
By for now...check out the band picture!!!

Thursday 28 June 2007

A Press Release:An Apology

This is a press release on behalf of HOT MACHERO

Recently the character best friend M has been referred to as Fraggle in this blog. This has caused Best friend M to be harassed alarmed and distressed. At Hot Machero Towers we would like to just say that we appreciate all that she has done for us and that we apologise profusely for this ill attempt at humour.It was not our intention to offend her in anyway.

Out of respect and to make amends for this , from now on she will be known as Mokey who is the highly spiritual and artistic quiet and contemplative Fraggle ........from Fraggle Rock........... Thank you

Wednesday 27 June 2007

Ahhh Grasshopper

ahhhh grass hopper! those of you old enough to remember the 70s hit serial Kung fu will know what I'm on about.....you think!
You see recently, Rockstar had his sports day and inevitably there was the mummy's race and Daddy's race. Wifey lined up in the mummy's race and shot off at the start hot on Agent A's shoulder (Agent A the very persistant PTA member ) unfortunately she pulled up, pulling a muscle in her backside...rats !!!!! Agent A won...wifey hobbled back to the picnic mat and looked me in the eyes ...she needn't say a thing Agent A's husband was in the Daddys race he has won it three years running and rumour has it, they have as many kids as they have as he wants to win it for years to come. He actually hinted that they rename the school after him...this smacked of Lennon and his bigger than Jesus Christ quote ...I had to raise my game ...I walked to the line shoulder to shoulder with my foe.......my mind went back eight years I was just about to go out for the final round at the Kickboxing World Championships my wise old teacher was there in front of me knowing that the fight ..the title ..everything I had trained for was in the balance one more round separated me from glory...I was tired from being used as punch/kick bag by a 18 stone of towering German World Champion ...his wise words came back to me there again ..........just F***ing hit him! ...do not not give up! I snapped back to 2007 and there I was standing on the line I looked at my new foe ...I thought about hitting him it was probably the only way I was going to beat him......younger ,lighter etc,,,, ......but then that wouldn't of been in the spirit of things and he is actually a nice chap.... so I decided I would not give up instead....We set off and soon we were ahead of all the other fathers I was sitting on his shoulder ( not literally you understand as that woulsd make me look like a parrot...and I don’t use the phrase pretty pollyany way)I caught him glimpsing over his shoulder .... he saw me right up there with him.......I suddenly spurted forward I was gaining then ........the hamstring went .....I started hopping along the track crossing the line just after several Dad's came whizzing past me. My lips made a loud FFFFFFFFFFFFF sound but upon the glimpse of the head teacher scowling at me I said "FFFFFFFFoolish me I've appeared to have pulled my hamstring...oh dear! I laid there pride dented severely over he came ...the winner together with his wife Agent A both sporting their winners stickers...he then slapped a "I'm so brave sticker" on my chest..........The leg was in a bad way ......was a good day though and next year I'll be back (said in an terminator sort of way)and.......... I will beat him....So it wasn't so much Ahhh Grasshopper it was ARGGGGGGGHHHHHH and then I hopped along the grass!
Rehearsals that night were however the highlight of the day and our drummer who will be known from here on as barabanshhik (this is Russian for Drummer...believe me it's easier than Armenian.for drummer.........Barabanshhik's wife is russian so hey...Barabanshhik it is) anyway bubblegumshik was superb and we had a great session. Babapapashhik has a great style of drumming looking so effortless. Monday night we had another rehearsal ...Diddler was detained at work....but his reserve "the Holy one" stood in ..Pugwash was belting out some great vocals and Bar.bar.bar...bar.bar.baran..shhik went into a trance like drum solo whilst playing Eddy ...we must of jammed solidly for about 15 minutes...what a laugh!
So the the official Hot Machero line up is as follows


PUGWASH- vocals
WIFEY- Guitar ,Saxaphone
DIDDLER- Guitar
ME- Bass
BARABANSHHIK-Drums
gig 2 is tomorrow!!!!!!

Tuesday 19 June 2007

Cooking on gas!

So in they walk, instruments in hand ...the first was a drummer from the Internet.... Contacted three days before ...too good to be true I thought on the phone ...played professionally for a bit lives local wants commitment kind of more our own age...(sounds like an advert in a dating agency Dunnit!)
He looks like a, clean cut polite bloke I thought, as this cheerful friendly chap from Armenia shakes my hand and soon after he is bringing a lovely silver and black Pearl EXR set of drums complete with a Yamaha snare which he informs me costs more than the rest of his entire kit?!!!! He is busy setting up when the large figure of the singer comes in ...shaved head deep voiced I wondered if he was going to hit me with the outstretched hand which eventually shook mine...I'd known this lad from work,. be it another department ...we have kind of acknowledged each other but little else ...twas a chance meeting in the works canteen which lead us to talking about music and his talents over some pasta which was severely lacking in the straining department the sauce of which was floating at the top in bitter protest at being swamped by the offending pasta water!!! par for the course in that canteen may I add. Dressed in a stripy t-shirt for rehearsals he was dressed reminiscent of an Edwardian Seaman....he was later to be nicknamed by the Fraggle (viewing the nights proceedings on video) as Pug wash. So Pug wash starts setting up his mic and introducing himself to the rest of the band....
We had another visitor that night ....As you know Diddler and his Linda are off to see Genesis on the 30th ,the day of the big Fete.....so I was actively trying to recruit a replacement for the Diddler which was to be no mean feat and considering only four days earlier I was sat head in hands programming a drum machine wondering how we had come full circle from being just Wifey and I .....to having 5 in the band..... back to being just wifey and I for the Fete. It just so happens that sat in the same chair were Linda told me about her husband who can play a bit of guitar (Diddler) I spoke with a colleague who just happened to pop into the office ...she reminded me her eighteen year old son could play guitar......oh yes how could I forget....you see I am a proud parent and I am not criticizing her in the slightest as I will probably be just the same when mine reach that age but she told me about her son ...he's tall handsome, a guitar hero .....sings like an angel all the girls fancy him ....good at school .......was a great cook and was actually cooking the dinner that night.......It was at that point that I asked if he could walk on water too.....which was met with the answer it deserved....so I invited the Holy one down for rehearsals...now I was expecting something special after his mum had bigged him up.....she wasn't lying the lad was very polite tall and all that but can he play the guitar?..........do bears Shit in the woods? Is the Pope Catholic,,?.....,does Mother Dearest eat Mushroom sandwiches for breakfast....? So the lad was waiting patiently to unleash his Fender Strat on us ....the drummer was poised cheerfully sticks in hand and Pug wash was growling at his mic ......I thought he was going to snap it off and eat it !
So Diddler strapped on his red Epiphone Wifey belted out the first riff of into the deep on her new ESP and I kicked in with Freddy (ok ok I named my bass Freddy...I have issues...don't we all ?) then this quietly spoken cheerful chap snapped into action with graceful swishing of his drumsticks he cracked out a rock steady beat....complete with fills and spills We all had great smiles on our faces ...this sounded so right. one by one he took each of our songs and dragged them kicking and screaming into some kind of resemblance of what they should be coupled with Pug wash's vocals we was cooking ...the lad played really well too and to be honest it was probably the best night we had so far since we began our quest into the weird and wonderful world of Hot Machero.
Then the question to each....will you be back? ................the answer was a yes ..Hot Machero are 5 again ...oh and a very talented reserve!!!!!

Sunday 17 June 2007

Then there were three!

It is with regret that I have to announce that Hot Machero are, for the time being a trio. Dom the drummer and SJ are no longer in the band. This is not the forum to air the whys and why nots and I’m certainly not going to slag them off as they are great people. All I will say is that I wish them well and I’m glad they were onboard for that part of our journey. It was time to go our separate ways......It’s just one of those things.
We found out that poor Chippy was working and fell down a flight of stairs with his tools in his hands and has injured his knee and ankle ...............I’m sure I echo the words of all of us involved in the band and this blog when I wish Chipster to get well soon...........clutz!
So the hunt is on for a new drummer and a new singer .Not an easy task in time for our next two gigs in 10 days and 12 days time. We are also looking for a replacement for the Diddler for the 30th of June as he is off watching Genesis in Paris that day. We have a few people lined up to come to next rehearsals but more about them as and when we meet them.

Wednesday 13 June 2007

Flying high and low

F
I was engaged deep in conversation with Agent A we stood in the playground awaiting the arrival of our children from a school outing to Bird world. We were busy dissecting the band's performance on Saturday. Then another member of the PTA ....Rover...came over (I've named her Rover cos she is Irish, nothing to do with cannines) Rover stated she had heard that the band had performed good it was quite obvious Agent A had been bigging us up....I was flying high! Rover then pointed out I'd been talking for about twenty minutes with my trouser zip down..........I was flying low.

Chippy by the way.........has disappeared off the face of the earth ......! he didn't turn up at rehearsals on Monday...must have been something in the water as neither did SJ or Dom!!!!! Wifey Diddler and I had quite a good session all told and even tried some new material...watch this space

Rockstar's sixth birthday today we bought him a proper drum kit....the neighbours love us!

Sunday 10 June 2007

Our first gig-a game of two halves

Been too busy to blog. A small matter of a gig to rehearse for you see. We now have the facilities at St Joseph’s school and we used them to full potential last week. Things were stacking against us Diddler working late each night, I had an important presentation at work which was bothering me a bit, but far worse Wifey hurt her back and was in pain for most of last week. SJ had the dreaded lurgey, Wifey stepped on her guitar lead and bent her jack input on her electric guitar breaking the wood around it.....that evening she made emergency repairs it was solid but not great!!!!!!!
but Dom had bought a lovely red Pearl drum kit (way over what he budgeted for !!) Diddler was also sporting a brand new Epiphone (also red in colour). some how we managed to cover all the set on Thursday and Friday we were fairly happy by Friday......Thursday I had had a little rant as I felt we had switched off a bit but my strop served as a source of amusement rather than anything else ???!?!?!?!?
The day of the gig arrived and the band amassed at our house Dom set his Drums up in the front room and we kind of dotted ourselves around the house in any space available together with Eric’s Linda and The Dark Marge who was busy re stringing his mandolin to left handed.....why?.....cos he’s left-handed !
Zoot....a baritone ,saxophonist type person from Wifey’s marching band was also there being very Zootish and explaining he had turned down Jools Holland for Hot Machero that night....the Diddler looked up at him and muttered under his breath. in his broad Scouse drawl...” Oh aye...and I had to turn down Macca (Sir Paul McCartney) as he had invited me over for a jam like” I couldn’t help smile,
We performed Sing and Lola two songs we were a bit worried about especially Lola. Wifey had even burnt our dinner the night before cos of Lola!.....bloody Lola! I’d like to paint a picture of five people sitting there like a bag of nerves but it really wasn’t the case.........I felt calm and relaxed and everyone else appeared the same. We arrived at the venue with plenty of time...The Dark Marge failed his audition for being our Roady when he juggled with one of Dom’s brand new unscratched mint condition pride and joy of a drum he would have got away with his misdemeanour as his only witness Eric’s Linda kept shtum .....SJ however was going to be a whistle blower and grassed on the Marge thankfully no damage was done and Dom was cool about it. With the PA all set up instruments tuned and ready the guests started to role on in. Then it hit me ..........this blog....most of the people that knew me were going to be there. most of the people I have contact with end up in this blog ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Cruella my boss was chatting to Mother dearest and the Marge ,Fraggle was chatting to Jockanese K....(.MBE)............Locker room James.......Agent A and her trusty side kick and husband ....R. Wayne.....they were all there....... It was a nightmare come true, the amount of stick dished up to so many people in this blog who didn’t know each other were going to join forces and gang up on me I was sure!
Wifey called us in and we opened with Into the deep ....wifey’s patched up Vintage rocked out the opening riff my bass banged out a D in a pulsating rhythm...Dom crashed his new Drums as if to announce...we are here ! Diddler’s pick joined in the fun and his voice announced the first line of the song...”Into the deep” this was it Hot Machero were a proper band SJ came in with her backing and the icing was on the cake we breezed through it. We followed with -Time of your life- Hand in my pocket Whistle for the choir-Lola (which went great!) and she’s electric. We were really pleased with this first set and surprised at our own performance and set off for a well-earned break. Zoot on his tenor sax Wifey with her alto and Dom and I did the girl from Ipanema this was followed by the amazing Simon the sound Guru Edwards and Terry Vass from Diddly Skwat doing a few songs. Simon played his Piano accordion and Terry borrowed Dom’s drums I kind of played my bass along being shouted the chords by Simon . The Skwats were brilliant and Wifey and Zoot joined in with the brass .....well good fun!
Then .........call the Police the show was stolen! Our 5 year old Rockstar (He’ll be six this week) marched up to wifey and wanted to sing. He took a mic from her and sang “Eddy oh Eddy” with this the band in unison played the tune...it was awesome...even the bridge....“Camp-er-van” it was spontaneous ....really cool. The band kinda clicked in and there was a huge round of applause for our little boy I was so proud I knew Wifey was too.
The second half of our set started well Dock of the bay was good...“Don’t you forget about me” however was not good Wifey’s pedals were playing up from the moving of the equipment in the break!!! , Sing and Breakfast at Tiffany’s weren’t great either . I wanna hold your hand with guest singer Locker room James ended the set on a high.....although cramp in my little finger made me grimace some what.!!! for our encore...we played” Into the deep” again.
We all had a great time and the feedback was mostly positive but for our first gig we were really happy .
It was my birthday bash and I had a great time and a fantastic cake ......I’ll end this blog with some quotes of the day.....and the fact that ............Hot Machero have gigged we are now a band!

Cruella to Mother Dearest
“I didn’t know you were a child bride”

Dark Marge......In response to....“how are we doing what are people saying ?”
“Well I’ve had two beers and I haven’t got into a fight yet!”

Dom to Dark Marge.....
“ You have a look of I’ve just dropped the drums on your face”

The landlady of the Boot ......in response to “ We don’t seem to have scared away your punters!”
“ No we turned the jukebox up on the other side of the pub, you couldn’t be heard around there”