I used to write this blog so avidly back in the day how did I ever have the time ? Recently at a dinner party in Norfolk the blog I wrote on Thursday 4th of April 2014 In hot Water Again was brought up.
Detailing my Prowess with all things DIY featuring an 11 year old Aaron and I in what could only be described as a sketch from Laurel and Hardy. It's hailed as my finest work , Litrature wise not DIY I hasten to add.
So I set about finding said blog and realised the last Blog I actually posted was way back in March 2015!!!!! I 'd almost by passed Ann-Mari's time in the band and the arrival of Neil!!!
I'd so like to write this blog again I mean lots have changed but I have so much more comic material now with the dawn of my kids becoming adolescents , the arrival of Jadoo's Jingles and Hels (and her ace Vlogger over arf Tommy) and of course Mother Dearest is still a prolific chuckle magnet!
So maybe I will write some more Blogs if not just to diarise the life and times of a band that has risen from no where to well.... no where really, but a better no where with some lovely people following it that are in a the know and know where our no where exists.!
So that dinner party! and why were my DIY skills being discussed? Well Shazza Davey long time fan of the band (funnily enough discovered us after this blog ground to an unceremonious halt) invited us to a dinner party at her house in Norfolk with some other friends of hers. Sue who we had met at a gig in Fakenham last summer and her husband Daz who have to say was very entertaining. We were celebrating friendship and how friends look out for each other..oh that and the fact Shaz had managed to finally fix her Toilet seat . A lovely sea scened toilet seat . Now we 'd had the commentary for a few days on Messenger from Shaz about how this seat was not playing ball and kept falling off and she finally managed to secure it with the use of copius anounts of Araldite and a spell she managed to whip up in the cauldron inn the next room ( any other blog that would sound offensive wouldn't it?) Everyone used her toilet and Shaz was in her element Food went down well the chat was funny, intellectual and her toilet seat was bearing the brunt !....but then it was time for me to go to the throne room .
Now reader, I'm going to spare you the detailed narrative but needless to say it was a sit down session and I'm rather erm heavier than the other dinner party guests. (I have big bones ok ?)
Anyway I'm half way though the job and about to do the paperwork.....no job is finished without the paperwork right? when I heard ...tink! the sound of a metal bolt hitting the floor I looked down at the screw that secures the seat to the pan was on the floor.....as my exposed bottom slid sideways on a now insecure seat . Shit shit shit !!!! I thought ( lucky it wasn't a few moments earlier and it really would of.........well you know what I mean!) I'd killed Shazza's toilet seat. I picked myself off the floor trousers round the ankles . So I kind of sorted myself out and proceeded to lay under the toilet trying to re attach the renegade and offending seat without alerting the dinner party that I had just nearly worn said toilet seat like a gurning ring! I tried and tried and I'm not sure if it was the Port I had drunk I couldn't re attach it . I admitted defeat and came gingerly down the stairs ( I had pulled me trousers up by then ...obviously!) and presented said bolt! A few minutes later myself and Darren were both laying under the bowl like too surveying mechanics on a car wondering how we were going to do this. After a bit of faffing we secured it and we can safely say that the seat is secure ...Bootiful as they say in Norfolk and "That's a deckchair said the Norfolk girl ( last summer's erm escapade) "and now my toilet seat that you have broken now Bazza"
I decided that maybe I need to lose weight again...... but I also decided that it wasn't something to rush into and much after eight type mints were consumed after all DIY is a very strenous activity!
