Alien hunting

So there I was amongst the Darkened pipes wires and rafters.....The loft.....a forbidden place full off stuff.

Wifey had just replaced a bulb in the bathroom ,you know the type ,the ones that sit flush with the ceiling? As she unscrewed the thing about twenty dead wasps fell into the bath. The children screamed and despite my protests of they will all be dead I’ll sort it tomorrow Daddy is still recovering from a chest infection...they all stood there on the landing folded arms looking resolute that none of them were going to sleep unless I went and got rid of the wasp nest in the loft now!......The now was emphasised with Wifey’s finger pointing to the loft hatch......I looked at the hatch I gulped ...how I wished I hadn’t watched Aliens on telly the night before.

Before I knew it I was up there in the dim light ,water pipes gurgling, wires running to and fro cobwebs dangling in my hair.......well ok brushing my head. I had to remove some boxes ......I felt like poor Sigourney Weaver....my heart was pounding when then....I saw them........ about seven nests in varying sizes...now I wished I had Sigourney’s flame thrower ...but then I thought that wouldn’t do as the house would burn down.....I relayed my find back to mission control on the landing who unsympathetically said .....”Remove them”.

I looked around me and saw a piece of wood and on all fours approached the nests......I expected one to open up and an alien to crawl out...I grabbed my weapon ....the piece of wood...hardly the blaster come flamethrower gizmo Sigourney had but none the less devastating as I knocked all the nests into oblivion...well into a Morrisons bag any way.

With this , all were happy to sleep in their beds and Dad was the hero returning to the landing........I sat back in front of the telly and I was contemplating having a bath...dirty work Alien hunting......then following a brief channel surf I saw Jaws was on......I opted for a wash instead.

Problematic Sheep

So I have been busy.....I work for a living now I’ve changed my job .....with the same firm…but I’m not office based now ,so quickly banging out a blog is a thing of the past. At home every spare moment of remotely free time I’m practicing my bass. After my poor performance in Sandhurst I need to do better for the next electric gig (we are going unplugged for some open mic efforts). No the next gig is pressure city for me as it is my boss’s retirement in front of the whole firm past and present ...in a pub ...in Ruislip High Street.

My boss ...or Bruv as he will be known in the blog ...mainly because every where we go...and this includes customers we get asked “Are you brothers?” . At first we denied it.....then Bruv concocted a whole family history as to how we had different surnames different nationalities and different fathers which was quite amusing especially at the point I had to interject and tell him Mother Dearest was upset he hadn’t been round recently...but even that wore thin and now the stock reply is “Yeah” Anyway he retires in February and the band have graciously agreed to play giving up their time and effort. We are supporting “ Any buddy Out There” a buddy Holly type band on the night .Some of the other characters in the office are interesting....it’s almost like an episode of Playschool....(remember ...today we are going to look through the ....round window...except with my firm they seemed to have bricked all the windows up in fear of any light from the end of the tunnel seeping through!!!) Yes playschool......we have Teddy....so named because Bruv reckoned he looks like one with his tight fair bristly hair when he shaves it. He is the office baby too.....I actually had been working a year before Ted was born......he is a guitarist.....and extremely bassist......oh yeah bass player jokes are abundant.......but he gets regular slaps for his troubles...that’s when we can get him out of the woods ..... with his constant picnics....bloody Teddies! We have some other characters like Gemima and Beatrix who I must say are so helpful in the office and save me from doing shed loads of work.....and then of course there is Jonah........Jonah works very very hard but everything she touches turns to rats mostly through no fault of her own it’s just one of those things. In fact I ‘m going to urge her to become an undertaker as knowing her luck ..no one will die thereon......!!!!!!! then there is them that we don’t mention...yes the other team we share an office with...strange band of fellows lead by a Scottish boss from a small fishing village in the far flung nooks and crannies of Scotland......I’d like to tell you more about him but I can’t understand a bloomin word of what comes out of his mouth except...Ayyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!...(in a "we are all doooooomed" kind of voice) but we don’t talk about them...the Voldermorts!!!!!!
So Chrimbo and Yule are in spitting distance.....and all the deckies are out and dusted down....This year wifey has taken a keen interest in the crib scene aka Presepju in Maltese households. I look at the carefully positioned figurines (they all have their place) and then I find a sheep on top of the inn or sheep scattered all round flippin Bethlehem......even found one in the crib the other day (baby Jesus doesn’t take up residency until Christmas morning.....well he hasn’t been born yet!!!!! Well actually he was born in March but that is a whole new blog that I’m not going to get into here) Maybe them shepherd should stop washing their socks in front of the telly and sort it out!!!!!!
I’ll promise to blog before Yule.......honest