Alien hunting

So there I was amongst the Darkened pipes wires and rafters.....The loft.....a forbidden place full off stuff.

Wifey had just replaced a bulb in the bathroom ,you know the type ,the ones that sit flush with the ceiling? As she unscrewed the thing about twenty dead wasps fell into the bath. The children screamed and despite my protests of they will all be dead I’ll sort it tomorrow Daddy is still recovering from a chest infection...they all stood there on the landing folded arms looking resolute that none of them were going to sleep unless I went and got rid of the wasp nest in the loft now!......The now was emphasised with Wifey’s finger pointing to the loft hatch......I looked at the hatch I gulped ...how I wished I hadn’t watched Aliens on telly the night before.

Before I knew it I was up there in the dim light ,water pipes gurgling, wires running to and fro cobwebs dangling in my hair.......well ok brushing my head. I had to remove some boxes ......I felt like poor Sigourney Weaver....my heart was pounding when then....I saw them........ about seven nests in varying sizes...now I wished I had Sigourney’s flame thrower ...but then I thought that wouldn’t do as the house would burn down.....I relayed my find back to mission control on the landing who unsympathetically said .....”Remove them”.

I looked around me and saw a piece of wood and on all fours approached the nests......I expected one to open up and an alien to crawl out...I grabbed my weapon ....the piece of wood...hardly the blaster come flamethrower gizmo Sigourney had but none the less devastating as I knocked all the nests into oblivion...well into a Morrisons bag any way.

With this , all were happy to sleep in their beds and Dad was the hero returning to the landing........I sat back in front of the telly and I was contemplating having a bath...dirty work Alien hunting......then following a brief channel surf I saw Jaws was on......I opted for a wash instead.