Colin's New Angel

With the sound of Max's  white Les Paul still belting out the last strains of her now ever popular Purple rain solo in my ears from Spriggan Mist's 5th birthday. I think it is time to lift the lid on the newest member of our band don't you?

So many of you have met  our new singer Ann-Mari. She has settled well into the crazy world of Spriggan Mist. From the word go she has caused a stir in our neighbourhood. On our second meeting she parked her car up in the nice little cul-de sac in Bracknell and armed with her new Spriggan Mist lyrics bounced up the path full of excitement to meet up with Max and I to practice some Ghostly Tales songs. She knocked on the door of the house glancing at her watch as she did and yes she was right on time 8pm as we had arranged and as the door opened she saw a rather annoyed young mother trying to console a now crying baby just awoken by Ann-Mari's enthusiastic knocking! Establishing that she had not only knocked on the wrong house but had indeed knocked on the wrong street she made her apologies advised the now quite cross young mum with said howling baby that it does actually get easier as they get older and retreated arms aloft as quick as an Italian Commando  back to her car. One phone call to me and one bout of side splitting laughter  later she arrived for our practice and soon she was singing away…. with a glass of Red Wine of course. I'm not suggesting for a moment she is alcohol driven ….but she does like a beer for breakfast when camping! (a bit of Spriggs' trivia there )

But this was not the only mistake with numbers Ann-Mari has made since joining  Spriggs' only the other day I received a text from her out of the blue saying  "Sh1t Babe!!!!" Well I thought that’s odd so I sent her a text back saying "Sh1T babe to you too" I mean blimey that's not on! Clearly it wasn't meant for me.

But how far are these mistakes going to go ? Ann-Mari is a fitness instructor, that is what she does day in day out. what happens if she gets that mixed up !?? Right in the middle of Faery Queen say…

".Yeah we'll survive if you dance the night with the .....work it work it 2, 3 4, 5…good and again  …2, 3, 4, 5…..good job !!!"

Can you imagine the carnage at Dolmen camps as the faithful are bouncing to Spriggan Mist rockin out  and then suddenly breaking out into grape vine  or some snazzy Zumba moves!!!…how far does it  go ? I mean what's next Mark Vine in lycra! …!?!?!?  Duncan Wilde in leg warmers? blimey he'd look like one of them padded rugby posts wouldn't he?! !!! ??  Or Taloch in a pink Onsie..erm…oooh..erm ...awkward silence

Although relatively new to the band she is a veteran of three Dolmen Grove events now and has certainly made an impact…..She was introduced at the Enchanted Market in Berkshire, then in Cornwall where when it was decided we were moving where the bands were playing Duncan from DG Hants and Dave from DG Cornwall were carrying either side of a bass cab and Ann-Mari trotted past them carrying the other identical cab on her own !!! With a bright smile ……and then in Weymouth whilst sitting outside her tent having made soup for her friends and family Oaken from DG Essex came over and said " Errr your camping table is on fire!"
Ann-Mari laughed it off thinking, strange man...      "No it's really on fire !" Oaken insisted !!!  As he looked down at her little camping stove on the plastic table as it started to disappear into a bubbling melting mush of blue plastic" How we enjoyed the smell of burning plastic  wafting over the campsite.

So as mentioned we have just had our  5th birthday bash as a gigging band …It's actually nearly 6 years ago Maxine penned the first Spriggan Mist songs, clever little ditties that she wrote on a guitar banjo ….We never thought that they would ever get heard by anyone until Karen Kay heard the tunes on Myspace and we had to form a band very quickly as she asked us to play 3 Wishes Faery Fest 2009. Maxine had played all the instruments on those first recordings and we needed musicians entrusted to turning  her music into a live act...
Here we are 5 years later ….and what a transformation Spriggan Mist have made

So one thing is for sure life in Spriggan Mist is certainly going to be even more eventful now and of course now we have the three girls in the band. We could call them Colin's Angels couldn't we….well you never see Charlie in Charlie's Angels…do you ever see Colin in any band pics? I rest my case….
Does that make me Bosley?

Anyway I will keep you all updated with  Ann-Mari's escapades …as I'm sure there will be many!!!!

Mother Dearest and the Bear incident.

So we played The Big Untidy at The Rising Sun Arts Centre in Reading. It’s a very appreciative intimate crowd there. They sit and listen intently to the music which is quite refreshing in some ways. I’m not quite used to the … “I’m not going to applaud until the last note drowns from human hearing” vibe but as stated it’s nice that those carefully worded gems you have pondered over for months are finally appreciated by the people sitting in front of you…… then there is Mother Dearest!

She sat herself in the front row, in the middle, so all the solo acoustic performers that play to a sound of a pin drop could witness the full Mother Dearest experience. Whilst melodic masterpieces were twinkling out into the room all you could hear was the crunching off walkers finest crisps coming from MD’s hamster pouched mouth sounding like a regiment of guards in the trooping of the colour!!! All we needed was a bugle (more about that later) to top it off!!! I mean it was so quiet, you could even hear the sound of her unscrewing her mini bottles of wine….all 10 of them!!!

There was a very talented solo acoustic performer that came all the way from deepest darkest Northamptonshire called Lew Bear. He sang a song named after a horse called “Merry Tom Lane” hmmm very good song but really?  a horse called “Lane”!!!! He also sang a song called “Ripples” which was definitely Ripples and not nipples as my lovely 9 year old daughter whispered to us…… So if you are reading this Lew Bear, please except my apology for my Mother and Daughter

So Lew is building up to starting a song his fingers caressing his acoustic guitar all eyes were on this musician who had connected with his audience who were mesmerised by the magical sound he was making….then it happened just as Lew was about to sing Mother Dearest let out a blood curdling burp!!!!! Lew steadied himself from falling backwards of his stool, the whole room looked to the centre where MD sat there and said …”Excuse me!” like a pro Lew carried on his song trying to hold the laughter in , no doubt now knowing that Mother Dearest was definitely on the white wine just from the smell of burp wafting across the floor. Well I thought Ann-Mari was going to have a seizure!!! The rest of us were holding our heads wishing the floor would open up and swallow ….her!

My son Aaron witnessed this event up close…he actually told me that as she lifted her glass to her mouth the renegade burp just slipped out, it actually made her wine bubble!!!

 Aaron also said we did get bugles from MD to complete my trooping of the colour analogy but thankfully that was masked by some more enthusiastic strumming by Lew as a slight botty puff released it’s way to the now outraged audience behind her and rendering them fit to only stare into the distance. as Lew Bear sang a song entitled "Mad old girl" Very apt I thought.!

Locker Room Liaisons 2

 So I've been writing this blog on and off for seven years now.I draw your attentions to the blog I wrote way back in February 2007.

 http://hotmachero.blogspot.co.uk/2007/02/locker-room-liaisons.html

I was found in an awkward moment in the locker room at work on that occassion..

Many office and  building change , Two bands and three CDs later .I find myself yet again  back in that very same locker room  in another compromising position with my Tai Chi/Qi Gong instructor  and good friend Sifu Boggie.

Picture the scene , It's stupid O'clock in the morning before work you wander into your locker room blurry eyed and you hear from behind the lockers

"Spread your legs …ride the wild horse"
 "Like that ?"
"Yes ok …now pat the horse high!"

 You open your locker and hear
"Let your snake come up through the middle …keep it soft  you don't need to be rigid"

You'd have to investigate, wouldn't you …? And my colleague did …his head peered around  the lockers to see me squatting in full company uniform,in  horse stance, Boggie behind me pushing my shoulders down making me sink lower. He didn't see two martial artists, oh no... ..he saw two 6 ft well built blokes with shaved heads and goatees sweating slightly in a very compromising position and  now caught like rabbits in headlights .

I jumped to my feet and stood leaning against a locker Boggie put hands in his pocket and looked to the ceiling …it only made it worse …..Awkward silence…I smiled nicely at our voyeur !!!

 "Erm …nothing to see here?  …I said unconvincingly He dissappeared back to his locker after a long eye roll and a  smirk…….Not again I thought …. Boggie looked at his mobi saw it was time for breakfast…. And innocently said
"Do you want a sausage?….. ( a loud crash of items being dropped out of a locker round the corner ) he did qualify that, followed by "With your egg on toast" but alas the damage had been done.