So we played The Big Untidy at The Rising Sun Arts Centre in
Reading. It’s a very appreciative intimate crowd there. They sit and listen
intently to the music which is quite refreshing in some ways. I’m not quite
used to the … “I’m not going to applaud until the last note drowns from human
hearing” vibe but as stated it’s nice that those carefully worded gems you have
pondered over for months are finally appreciated by the people sitting in front
of you…… then there is Mother Dearest!
She sat herself in the front row, in the middle, so all the
solo acoustic performers that play to a sound of a pin drop could witness the
full Mother Dearest experience. Whilst melodic masterpieces were twinkling out
into the room all you could hear was the crunching off walkers finest crisps
coming from MD’s hamster pouched mouth sounding like a regiment of guards in
the trooping of the colour!!! All we needed was a bugle (more about that later)
to top it off!!! I mean it was so quiet, you could even hear the sound of her
unscrewing her mini bottles of wine….all 10 of them!!!
There was a very talented solo acoustic performer that came
all the way from deepest darkest Northamptonshire called Lew Bear. He sang a
song named after a horse called “Merry Tom Lane” hmmm very good song but really?
a horse called “Lane”!!!! He also sang a
song called “Ripples” which was definitely Ripples and not nipples as my lovely
9 year old daughter whispered to us…… So if you are reading this Lew Bear,
please except my apology for my Mother and Daughter
So Lew is building up to starting a song his fingers caressing
his acoustic guitar all eyes were on this musician who had connected with his
audience who were mesmerised by the magical sound he was making….then it
happened just as Lew was about to sing Mother Dearest let out a blood curdling
burp!!!!! Lew steadied himself from falling backwards of his stool, the whole
room looked to the centre where MD sat there and said …”Excuse me!” like a pro
Lew carried on his song trying to hold the laughter in , no doubt now knowing
that Mother Dearest was definitely on the white wine just from the smell of
burp wafting across the floor. Well I thought Ann-Mari was going to have a
seizure!!! The rest of us were holding our heads wishing the floor would open
up and swallow ….her!
My son Aaron witnessed this event up close…he actually told
me that as she lifted her glass to her mouth the renegade burp just slipped out,
it actually made her wine bubble!!!
Aaron also said we
did get bugles from MD to complete my trooping of the colour analogy but
thankfully that was masked by some more enthusiastic strumming by Lew as a
slight botty puff released it’s way to the now outraged audience behind her and
rendering them fit to only stare into the distance. as Lew Bear sang a song entitled "Mad old girl" Very apt I thought.!
