The Great Post Office mystery

Even Mother Dearest is at it! Why is it that pensioners do this? ……let me tell…..

It must be something programmed into their heads upon reaching retirement that they must get to the post office half hour before opening about 0830 and queue up in a line twenty people deep. Then upon opening, they file in and wait for another half hour as the cashiers deal with the queue…an hour at the post office yipppeee can’t wait til I retire.…….thing is at 0930 the queue is about five deep and your total trip to the post office is 15 minutes….The problem is for those of us that work the early post office trip is our only opportunity but pensioners have all day to do it!!!!! But oh no…….got to get up early and queue ……then complain about how long it takes……

This is not a practice reserved for Bracknell pensioners only …I see it in Uxbridge too. To make matters worse you stand in the queue and feel compelled to watch a flat screen on the wall with that annoying bloke from the adverts pretending to be funny …you know the one …he’s the post office manager ….Then you hear the sweet automated sound of “ Cashier number 7 please” and off you go to your cashier………who will proceed to talk to you in a really soft voice so you have to press your ear to the little speaker on the glass to have any hope of finding out what they are saying to you……..

I find this almost as annoying as when you go into a petrol station …you buy some items and you go to the cashier and say ….” Just that please” they look at you and say “Any petrol?” I feel like saying …….” Are you calling me a liar?”……I mean why in the hell would I say “just that please” …If I had put petrol in my car I’d say “number 5 please” or “ can I have a carwash “ …….then to add salt into the wounds they do the thing I hate..(and I have broached this in a blog some time a go but for the benefit of my newer readers) They give you your change by putting the coins on the note and the receipt …so you have the bag in one hand a handful of receipts and notes and coins in the other and a queue of people huffing behind you as you put your coins into the coin compartment in your wallet and the notes in the note bit and the receipt in prime position so it can be discarded… is it just me? Or do others find this annoying too?

So tonight is rehearsal night and The band will all file into the log cabin (past the new gnome that Mother Dearest bought for us recently that wolf whistles as you go by it)…incidentally that gnome nearly got it big style the other night ……as wifey and I were in the utility room Wifey went “shhhhhhhhh!…..” putting her finger to her lips and in her bestest Sherlock Holmes looking for clues stance whispered “there is someone in the garden” I listened out and sure enough I heard a faint whistle….I pictured the scene in my head …..two burglars with swag bags …one looking out while the other jemmies the door to the Studio….the whistle was a signal to stop and stand still ……..but then I realised a cat or something must be on the gnome garden as it was the flippin whistling gnome ……We laughed and carried on the rest of the evening

As it was one of those rainy but hot drizzly nights I closed the bedroom curtains on the open window and jumped into bed ..it was midnight and bedtime…. then he started……the gnome…. wolf whistling ……one after the other ……..it was like he was saying … ”Oy tosser …hope you are nice and dry in there as I’m bloody wet out here!!” it was like Chinese water torture and minutes later I could be seen marching down the garden in me boxers turning the little bloke off……”whistle now!” I said to him……as I walked away I bet the little bleeder gave me the finger!!!!