It's going to hurt but the marvels of modern day medicine will ensure that Lil Miss C is surgically removed succesfully from her laptop and her thirst for MSN and facebook.
Yes our 16 year old niece Lil Miss is up from Weymouth. Now I'm not sure if this is a common trait amongst the teenage fraternity of the Dorset coastal resort that they can't communicate unless via keyboard but Lil Miss seems to have a mad desire to communicate with all her friends at once via these social websites for the best part of her hours awake ....and in her sleep as well.....
I mean ,I was on the darn PC the other morning and into my inbox came the message from facebook from Lil Miss....."I'll be down in the minute" ?!?!?! she even sent a hello message when she was tapping away in the kitchen "hello" ...now when i say tapping I don't mean dancing either.....the only dancing that has occurred in our kitchen this week was me doing the dance of joy when Wifey shouted out from the front room in an automated "vehicle reversing" type voice...."Lil Miss has left the Laptop...:Lil Miss has left the laptop" I broke out into a spontaneous dance of joy as she walked into the kitchen to replenish her glass of Pepsi ...the dance resembled a Bhangra dance!!!! Lil Miss looked at me as I explained you had to screw the light bulb with your hand above your head and pat the dog with the other.......then I doubted myself ....was it screw the dog and pat the light bulb...the sight of me patting the ceiling and gyrating my hips doggy style by the cooker was abit too much for Lil miss so she returned back to her comfort zone ...hidden behind her laptop shaking her head and muttering how her parents had warned her that their sister and brother in law were going through a mid life crisis with the piercings and the faeries and spriggans and that she had to humour us.
Hey I'm used to humiliating myself now......Wifey and I spent most of last Saturday with our hands up the backsides of stuffed toys entertaining Mini minx's friends at her party......an avenue we are exploring is this...children's entertainers......We had loads of rubbish and the hall administrator at the church makes it his undying duty to make hiring the hall the hardest thing ever ...I'm sure he measured if we put the chairs back the allotted 5 cms apart!!!!! anyway he told me we had to take our rubbish with us. So there i was fresh from entertaining 20 odd 5 year olds...when I say odd i don't mean they were odd.....well not all of them....anyway I loaded the car up with our props which included obligatory faery door and big papier mache Toadstools painted in red and white just to make sure they stand out. I was dressed in a pixie hood white pirate style lace up shirt multicoloured stripey trousers and sandals. would have looked good at a medieval fair or a gig even... but down the dump with my bags of rubbish ....no.....I was getting these odd stares from people as my pixie hood swung behind my back as I off loaded my refuse......I caught the eye of a middle aged woman ...you know the sort, prim proper Mrs ordinary .....she was staring at me with apoker face in utter disaproval of me and my amazing collection of toadstools...I nearly said ...."what's the problem ?..they are only for personal use!!!!"
I drove off thinking what a discriminatory society we lived in ...when a pixie or faery (not that I am either) can't throw his refuse in the dump without getting glared at.....
So I part with you all today with a clanger I dropped in rehearsals on Monday...a Freudian slip as opposed to my rank bass playing that is.....
I announced to the band that wifey......wants a 12 inch.........of course I was referring to a 12 string.....
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