Most people wake up on a Monday morning and smack the living daylights out of their alarm clock until the damn thing stops ringing and returns back to a restless slumber realising that the working week was just about to obliterate the weekend just gone......me ?.......no I wake up with a thousand and one things I wish to impart on Blogland.....
Today's issue of "Highs at the Low End" aka "the crap that flows from the mind of a bass player" focusses in on our percussionist....if you remember from the last blog I made mention of his uncanny likeness to my Father Dearest...if you don't remember then go back and read it ...and next time pay attention ......anyway Ol'Dawg at work had read this blog and told me of an incident that happened to him on a train a few years back......must have been a steam train after all he is as old as the steam engine itself.......doesn't smell much better either but neither would you if you had coal shoved up a burning hot rear door but that is entirely another story !!!
Anyway Ol'Dawg used to catch a train to work everyday and he never used to get a seat so he used to stand.....one day he noticed sat reading his paper a man that was an absolute spitting image of his Dad.....Ol'Dawg just kept staring at him as the likeness was so uncanny. Well Ol'Dawg kept seeing this bloke everyday for about 18 months and they would nod to each other but nothing was said just the odd smile etc....Ol'Dawg told me it was really quite strange as he kept looking at him because he was so like his Dad.....One day Ol' Dawg managed to find a seat and he noticed that out of the corner of his eye "his Dad" was sat next to him ........this bloke leaned over into Ol'Dawg's face about an inch away from his nose and in the campist Lily Savage esque voice said to him "Hello .....I'm off to see me moother at weekend would ya like to coome wiv me? " then pouted ......Ol' Dawg needless to say was taken a back ....apparently even close up he was still an absolute double of his Dad.....but a very gay Dad..which Ol'Dawg described as surreal......Ol'Dawg said that this bloke's Mum was very nice by the way and it was the best weekend he ever had...(no not really ...he declined and never saw the bloke again but hey...... my version ends better)
After rehearsals last night as we mused over what went well and what didn't ...it was a good but slightly frustrating session last night as we are making hard progress of Earth Calling and Orion II. I know we will get there in the end and there are some great parts in the songs we didn't have before (I'm even slap popping in earth calling now) so we will get there I'm sure but it was after as we shivered outside the house that our drummer anounced he was going to take his Tomatoes out tomorrow......hmmm that was jolly nice of him I thought ......cinema...theatre or just a meal? ...but then the meal could be awkward......I mean imagine if you were to order a Spaghetti Bolognese if you were with a Tomato......how embarassing!!!...or may be take them out was a ....Take them out as in do them over?!?!?!?! I had to ask the question to delve deep into the mind of our percussionist.....
"Do you talk to your tomatoes ? " I casually asked.
He looked at me and scowled "no!" came the reply with a "stupid boy " look on his face...."They talk to me"
It was at this point Gurning Boy and The Phantom Pinger reached for the doors of their car now packed up and ready to go with a look of ....."nutter!" on their faces....He then added "Especially when I stick a knife in them!" ......with this the Tomato slayer chuckled an evil laugh and drove off into the night looking for more Tomatoes to butcher on his way home.
So the band line up is now complete.....
Wifey....The Incredible Gurning Man.....Dot the Phantom Pinger ...The Tomato Slayer and little old me......can't wait for the next rehearsal!!!!!
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