Only supposed to blow the bloody doors off!

The Birthday club is a unique  and exclusive set of friends that meet on our friend Mia's birthday every 8th December. It's been meeting for about 10 years and has taken part in various different venues and undergone various guises and a few different personel,but in the main the same 10 or 11 faces meet up on the 8th or the Saturday nearest. All friends of Mia's but we very rarely meet outside of the Birthday club….

This year it was decided we will not venture out  but instead pile round to Mia's and take part in a murder mystery night  So dear readers I was that evening Terence Shrimp  and Eastend boy made good in the photography world through dirty dealings  running for a gangland boss  Champagne Charlie…but this is where it all went wrong  my character had to be a cross between Michael Caine and Frankie Howard…now Mia had omitted to tell me the Frankie Howard  bit so I had prepared myself all week to be a bit of an Eastend hard boy…maybe a bit Phil Mitchell but upon reading my brief on the night I retired to the bathroom to run  through several lines of  "Don't you throw that bloody spear at me "  I decided I sounded more like Alan Carr " and saying  "You were only supposed to blow the bloody doors off" in a camp voice is never a good thing to do especially in the confines of a WC….but much to the amusement of the table I persisted and by the end I had  more camp than Butlins going on.

This year I was duty driver so the guy next to me  David who as forementioned I've known for 10 years I only meet once a year at the Birthday club … we sat and watched this table of would be thespians including Wifey degenerate into a cacophony of laughter and  mayhem whilst we remained stone sober. Champagne Charlie the gangland boss was played by none other than Paul…now Paul nice bloke is as far removed from an Eastend Gangster as Bambi... proceeded to crash his way through his role and several bottles of wine in the process! As the food was served the game  unfolded and due to the alcoholic sub plot …David and I wondered if it was the plot that had been murdered and between Wifey and Paul they looked like prime suspects…but it was I (trying to look sweet and innocent) that was accused of placing a sausage role in the light shade in the front room …as if! 

So by the end of the night  with mystery solved …Plot murdered ..13 bottles of wine drunk…much merryment  and laughter we said our goodbyes for another year , but I wonder what next years birthday club has instore. Over the years we have done Bowling followed by  various types of food  Chinese, Thai, American Burger  Noodle bar  posh black tie do in a hotel…..murder mystery night ..so what's next? Who knows?