Gone all gone!!!!!!!

Gone!!!!!.................... after 10 years .....gone!.....Rockstar cried " I want my Daddy back!" Gone..!!!!!!!

Rockstar cried his eyes out ...his Daddy's beard had gone....wifey came in from a hard days's work on a Saturday and said all day she was thinking I should shave it off.....so I did.I grew my goaty in 1997 and apart from a very brief encounter with the razor in September 2002 when wifey threatened to put my head in a paperback unless I grew it back it has been on my face since that day. Most have said I look ten years younger ...does that mean I look 26 then ?.....no I just don't look 46 anymore!!!!!!!!!!

I left work early on Friday and rushed to an emergency appointment at the doctors as my voice hadn't been right since three weeks back...I was croaking like Joe Cocker and my throat started to hurt ....I had Laryngitis ...the doc stated it is common in singers and people who used their voices loads ....I'm reliably informed by my work colleagues Mr T , Road runner and my boss Cruella that I was a dead cert to get it!!!!!!!! so I've been prescribed steroids and antibiotics to help mend the old vocal chords before the 24th for our first gig with the bootster as our front man! I am also not speaking at work I have buried myself into my PC surgically attached myself to my earphones attached to my Ipod and blasted out Marillion all day!!!! wicked! Incidentally upon hearing of my plight at the doctors from my text update to my illustrious leader ..Cruella replied .....

"Steroids! will u be growing boobies or is a sudden increase in hair growth be likely?" then I arrive on Monday without my beard that I was carefully cultivating into a point !!!!

Jockanese K ...MBE flew into Blighty for a week's leave it was little miss Jokanese K's 7th birthday party and it was good to see them all. Now wifey and I have lost a stone in three weeks due to being really good with our food...so when the hotdogs came round at this kiddies party I refused thinking that if I stand next to Boots on stage people might sing the Fatty and skinny song.......you know

"Fatty and skinny were sat in the bath ....fatty blew off and made skinny laugh!!!!"

so I declined .....later on I thought maybe I can just have a frankfurter .......I looked into the hallway ..... no one seemed to be in the kitchen area. I side stepped the children intently watching the children's entertainer faff around with a story before she showed the children in what a small space you can keep a large bunny ....some party old bugs had!...... Anyway I went to the kitchen door and saw the large pot with some very lonely frankies in it I inched into the kitchen looking over my shoulder as I was just about to commit the dasterdly deed..... I tiptoed in, sylvester styly.....my Tweety was a fat frankie sitting in a pot.....I then noticed preparing the cake behind the door Mrs Jokanese K...... with her auntie smiling as I reached the pot.......I put on an air of I don't care on my face produced my strumming fingers circled them in the air and plunged them into the pot ........unknown to me ...it had just stopped boiling !!!!!!!!!! aghhhhhh!!!!!!!!! Mrs Jokanese K was now on the floor clutching her sides ......partly at my plight of getting my fingers burnt and partly because ....she didn't tell me....that I would burn my fingers!!!!!! ......now I know why it is called a hot dog!!! I however called it something else beginning in FFFFFF and ending in ucker!

Sorry for the noticeable delay in writing my masterpieces but this was due to Sky and BT not getting their act together and our broadband crashing at the exchange....it was awful Wifey went nearly two weeks without E-bay!!!!!! luckilywe'd ordered her birthday present before it went down.......gone is the complicated Boss Guitar multi effects pedal ...in is the snazzy simple to use Behringer pedals and board complete with case....it sounds great!!!!!

A terrible thing happened to wifey and I on Saturday...yes yes....We got sucked into X-Factor ......I know it's really hypocritical of me as I have slagged off the whole concept but how the hell did that twerp that kept crying ever expect anything else but elimination from the show after completely masacaring Chasing cars by Snow Patrol!!!! Now this is number 2 on our set on the 24th November and Boots sings this ten fold better than this cry baby thing on the telly. How the hell did Bevereley be considered for elimination!!!! British public you've done it again! you never cease to amaze me!.....what's next Hot Machero for Christmas number one? .............exactly!!!!!!!!

Might have to watch it next week......seeing Louie Walsh completely dis Dani Minogue was very very funny.

Dani------ " You and Simon are completely out of touch!!!!!!"
Louie------- " Oh really....that's why we are turning out number 1 hit records and you are not!"................priceless!

Have you all seen the latest photos of your favourite band on our myspace? no ...why?call yourselves Hotties!!!!! these were taken at last week by our neighbour the Duke! we like them and we thank him profusely for giving up his Saturday afternoon to take pictures of us...did you notice that Barabanshik has in his hand a big fat Lah-di (Lah di dah.......Cigar for those of you from the sticks!) He had one of his best Cubans on the go. Rumour has it that Mamma Barabanshik is in the country having seen the pictures to tell him he is a very naughty boy! or the equivalent in Armenian. She is coming to the gig on the 24th so that means we will have two fans with Mother dearest promising to turn up too.

We are hoping more of you turn up from out there ....this is Boots' first outing with us and I think we sound the best we have so far.....(and am sure we can be better) If all goes well and we get an encore we'll play for the very first time an original song written by Boots but never performed before..........so in true Ibiza style ...............................come on everybody .............................make some noise!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!