In the far far East rings out from the lone Scottish piper walking accross the hallowed turf of Hampden park ..the stands as empty as the Scotland trophy cabinet th...........pipes let out a deflated sound.
"Oiy yoo ! blog man! why yoo taken the p**s oot of Scotland ! at least we failed with pride went out f#=^ing fighting with the World champions!!!England were a disgrace and as for Malta?
Releasing Braveheart on widescreen has a lot to answer for!!!!!
Welcome back to another exciting episode of the Desert Classic Gu(o)lf Tour 2007, the tour guaranteed to give you insomnia, lose you 2 stone, turn all your hair grey and leave your skin looking like a pimpled teenager all over again.
Well it has been a busy old week in the golf club, with some players ending their rounds and new ones joining the tour, ready to try out their new clubs and see if they too can hit a few birdies or hole in ones!, whilst trying to stay out of the bunkers.
It is with a smile that marks a happy end to my playing partner Big T's tour (no don't miss read me, we will miss him - honestly). Having already started playing the course way back in May, he was well and truly in full swing when i arrived. He has managed to develop his swing, as well as his accuracy on the dart board and his quiet manner and dry sense of humour will be missed by all on the tour. He has managed to get himself fit using the "dodge" method of training, or more commonly known as "dodge the golf balls", he has recorded a whopping 800+ during his tour. We therefore have to say welcome or is it Wilkommen to the tour, his replacement `slim jim`, having arrived from the fatherland with the sound of marching boots, crisply pressed uniform and a level of high spirits not seen since happy hour at the Britney Spears family reunion. We shall have to wait and see if he is a true hitter or a daisy cutter, or like my brother in law - a zigzag tree hugger (sorry gary you know its true). We also have to say a big hello to the `whinging wives` replacement player, as he has also arrived to play the course. He has been unfortunately named after a famous dead Egyptian, no i dont mean King Tut, nope he is named DODI, not by birth name but by looks - poor fellow.
Wwll we have as usual been busy playing dodge the ball again this week, with an increase in our rival's efforts to disrupt the tour from last week. I am however beginning to suspect that someone is watching me, as for some strange reason ever since my round started they mostly seem to start throwing golf balls as i am talking - `what do you mean - nothing unusual there then`..........I of course mean that i am usually in the internet cabin talking with Mrs and Junior Jockanese K on MSN. Thankfully again, they were way off the mark and the course has been unaffected and the tour continues.
Well as Jock with the pipes, has reared his kilt up again - I would like to point out that just to make us feel more at home with our kinsmen, it has started to rain out on the tour, so we feel well at home (ok well maybe not at home). This turn of weather could prove difficult for the tour and its players, given our hotels are situated on dirt flats, so we are expecting to get a little sticky over the coming weeks. Look out for further updates (thats if i am not bogged down in some muddy pond by then, or floating away in my cofin).
Well thats all for this week, so with my head down and chin up, ill sign off till next weeks update. Be safe and Well.
The sound of the pipes echoing down the players tunnel. The lone piper smartly dressed in kilt and Croatia top and a smug smile on his
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