I Would like to interrupt this blog to bring you the mad ramblings of a crazy Scotsman sweating his socks off serving his country....Jockanese K .......MBE ...............WE SALYOOTE YOU!
"Hi sports fan's and welcome back to yet another weekly update on the highs and lows of life on the 2007 Desert Classic Gu(o)lf Tour, and again more drivel and diabolical ranting's with humour that wouldnt look out of place at a Star Trek convention.
This reporter would like to start this week by saying thank you all for your recent corresponcence, i would like to especially thank you all for your convern regarding the welfare of the Donkey, I can confirm he is alive and well and still has all 4 of his legs, although the sunglasses are causing a slight irritation. We will shortly be running a naming competition, and can confirm that the BBC will not be running the phone in.
Well another week has passed and the tour is motoring on at full speed ahead. After last weeks disruption from our naughty neighbours, they again decided to try their luck at disrupting the tour and players, luckily for everyone they were again well off mark.
Last weeks unfortunate dry spell caused much discomfort and smell, unfortunately the temporary repairs by our resident contractors `Botch inc` have again failed this week, much to delights of the local mozzie population, they were over the moon as there were plenty of tasty smelly victims to feast on. If one did not know better - this reporter would swear he was living amongst a leper colony.
Thankfully with another round of tinkering, head scratching and loud sucking noices, we are again back to full flow and the smell is gradually disappearing, with the weather men stating the green haze is finally dispersing and visibility should be back to normal soon.
Sports Flash: We have unconfirmed reports of sightings in France of strange men wearing skirts, shrieking loudly whilst wearing ginger wigs taunting the French, singing Who are yoo, Who are Yoo and whers yer Va Va Voom Noo!!!
General Announcement: Due to the rather generous Government and Royal Mail granting free parcel postage to the Tour, the snail mail system is backed up and delays of up to 2 weeks are being experienced across the course.
Health Flash: New Diet Discovered:- You don't need the Atkin diet, you don't need the wait watcher diet, you dont even need ten ton of milkshakes to lose weight - just become a player on the tour, you too can throw yourselves repeadedly on the ground ducking foreign balls, carry heavy protective designer gear and enjoy the +45DegC heat plus blue skies and beautiful scenery. What more could you ask for, the weight will just fall off.
Breep Breep - Thats all folks - for this week, Stay safe, Stay happy and be glad your not here!!
Jockanese_K_MBE Signing off till nexts weeks update. "
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