Tuesday 4 September 2007

Hot Machero?.....more like Hot My Rearo!

Oh how I laughed....not....I phoned Cruella this morning to inform her that I wouldn't be coming into work today and told her of my plight. Eddy our 1973 VW camper van has just come back from some major restorations in the form of his whole floor cut out (like a Flinstones vehicle) Ashley from Berkshire bugs has done a great job and although he really did look after us price wise our bank balance is severely dented....no I mean severely!!!! anyway it is Vanfest this weekend ....for those uneducated in such circles Vanfest is a VW camper van meet where thousands of Campervans meet up at Malvern and there is a weekend of song laughter events and general VWness. We are paid up to go and Eddy as of Sunday was returned to us with his new floor but minus any interior which we had stored since June in our garage. So we had a few evenings to fit it all back in including drilling into the new floor and covering some new panelling fitting new seat belts and generally tarting the Eddster up for Vanfest. This has meant working till stupid o'clock after work ......last night Wifey decided at 2345 hours that she was hungry and would I get a kebab whilst she tidied up.......well I obliged as I am an obedient husband . When I got there I thought it would be rude not to have one of my own...the Chilli sauce was really hot and at the time it went down .....lovely....Quickly ironed some school uniform for Rockstar as it was his first day back the next day and slid into bed at about 0100 hours .....I was up all night I felt very uncomfortable and early hours this morning ........well what goes in the top must come out below ....but I would of preferred not quite so fast or wet or as often.......or indeed not as hot!!!! (hence the title!)

So I phoned up Cruella to impart this knowledge on her and fighting back her laughter she relayed my episode to Mr T and Linda aka Roadrunner.who were in the office working hard........I could hear the chuckling in the background...my colleagues are very sympathetic like this you see. I kind of don't feel so bad about telling Cruella that I met a dog with the same christian name as her whilst in Malta now. She took it very well I have to say anyway...........I'm sure my next appraisal is going to be a disaster though....eeeek!

Mother dearest was round a few days ago assisting Wifey in covering Eddy's inside panels with a nice cream coloured leatherette.......The Dark Marge came up from the wild west too...together with Mandy Lynne........no not a new girlfriend ....he's had to stay clear of his usual pick up haunts cos of the latest outbreak of foot and mouth ...no Mandy is his Mandolin....So there we were in the garden Motherdearest and Wifey thick with glue all over them .....our neighbours were in their garden enjoying the 45 minutes of sun we had that day........and Mother dearest out of the blue said cheerfully "WHAT'S A RENT BOY?". She couldn't of said it louder !!!!!!!!!!! She was serious she didn't know. A good day was had by all anyway

Malta is but a blur now......…the tan fading like Jade Goody's popularity….the festa with the fantastic concert and pyrotechnics display might as well have been a lifetime ago….I was surprised at the Festa actually . The band turned from the normal high pitched clarinet squealing ensemble whilst walking along the streets into a half decent orchestra when seated and joined with a proper drummer and keyboard player. The fireworks shooting off at the end in time with the drummer's bangs and crashes was quite a spectacle and I wondered if Barabanshik our drummer would like to have the pyrotechnics at his disposal. Would probably play havoc with the curtains in the hall though . All I said about the festa in my blog (about three back) was still true although the fights of old are apparently long gone….whilst sat gorging on hotdogs we did however witness the sight of two women probably on the side of forty years plus decide to knock ten tons of the proverbial out of each other right under the watchful eye of a Police officer who reminded me of the fat Mexican Sergeant in Zorro…He waddled over and as he broke into a run as the fight increased in ferocity one of the women ended up on the floor!........I thought I might have to call for an ambulance…….for the Policer man that is ......... not the women….He raced over and the women were dragged apart and Sergeant Garzias was joined by another cop who defused the incident…..As he huffed and puffed under the exertion of making a decision let alone the 50 metre waddle/sprint.

The search for the new singer /guitarist is well under way I have had dealings with some weird and wonderful musicians clambering at the door of Hot Machero towers. I have felt like an online X Factor judge…One lad described himself as pretty "fooking cool". Another called himself the Reading Rock rebel!!!!! There is someone of interest we are looking at but I'll update you all in blog land as and when……He may not be what we are looking for (although i've got a good vibe about him)or he may take one look at us spin on his heels and set off into the sunset cackling at our audacity to call ourselves a band…may be not …I think we can hold our own.
So here I am feeling sorry for myself upset stomach and to top it off it is the first anniversary of my Dad passing away which isn't helping my mood, I hope my illness won't set the work on Eddy back too much (it is almost done to be fair) I'm going to curl up with Mini minx and watch Dora the explorer and wonder what dear old Dad would have thought of the band and our children now they are a year older .........anyway I'm off, the toilet calls

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