Early Beard?!?!?

A sharp nudge in the ribs was enough to awake me from a good night's rest. It was dark o'clock in the morning (which is a bit later than stupid o'clock) I staggered to the bathroom some what adding weight to Darwin’s theory of evolution. After the usual bowel movements I set about trimming my now cultivated shaped goatee. I have been bringing it to a point on purpose for weeks; by the gigs it should be quite wispy and wizard like. I noticed that the right side wasn't quite symmetrical with the left side and set about adjusting it ......the left was a bit wonky then the right then the left ....the angles weren't right ....the blade was rather blunt ...had better buy some today I thought as I slipped and cut a square into my beard!!!!!! Oh no !!!!! Here I was early morning blunt razor with a square in my wispy beard........pants and pooh!!! The trimming wasn't going well it looked like a piece of a woman's anatomy there sticking off my chin....!!!There was nothing for it I'd have to have it off.....!!!!!!!!
(My beard that is) so I struggled in my semi awake stupor with a blunt blade carefully taking my beard off weeping with both the discomfort and the sight of my beard in the sink. I left my moustache on and realised that I looked like one of the village people and decided that as we weren't doing YMCA or In the Navy that it had to go .......Now all you blokes (and women)out there that have shaved their tash's off it can be quite uncomfortable with a blunt razor, it kind of smarts somewhat. So now my eyes are so watery I felt like a prize plum with a face like one too.
At about sensible o'clock ( this is the time wifey and the kids arise ) I told wifey of my plight on the phone ...expecting a nice sympathetic voice on the other end of the line I set about imparting all the details that you have just had to endure.!
Instead I got a stony silence and a ..."Oh great! I like....liked your beard " an abrupt end to a conversation.......oh bother as Pooh would say. ......(for a bear he isn't very hairy is he?....a bit jaundice to )
To add insult to injury Wifey actually told me that Mother dearest upon hearing of my unfortunate accident laughed herself silly so much so her ribs were hurting ???!?!?!?!
So what's with the band? Well you have had your update about me. Woodster has a cold , Wifey is busy scribing out some new tunes, The holy one has just bought a new amp and is in his element he came in smiling like he had just won the lotto carrying his new Marshall amp. Bara banshik is well Bara banshik, drummers are a funny breed really I mean during Chasing cars this week we found ourselves minus incidental cymbal crashes as our drummer was of in a little dream world on the other side of the hall. We lead him back to his drums and he was soon back into the swing of things.
We have indeed booked the Dolphin Public House for our inawg...inorg.... anaugrol.....first gig as The Stone Jesters and we will be unveiling Woodster and the Holy one ....( they won't actually be wearing veils mind ...)This takes place on the afternoon of the 1st of June. All are welcome ....I'll be 27 two days later too!
Hopefully by the next blog my beard will be back!!!!!!!