Chippy the Cheesy Chappy

I crept down stairs wifey had just phoned in sick with a sore throat , rigamortis and dutch elm disease (Seriously she is poorly and TLC is the order of the day) The front room curtains came swishing back opening the first act of another day in the life of the Hot Machero. As I was in awe at the splendour of the might of the rain and wind that hammered our neighbourhood all night , as I outstretched my arms and breathed in feeling the morning air make me come alive I felt I wanted to sing out loud. I wondered what it would be like to be a bird on the tree outside .....................the postman wondered why I stood in the window in just my cacks.......
I could see Eddy outside ,Wifey and I picked up the mini rock star from school in Eddy Paul yesterday and we just made it back before the heavens opened .....seeing that it was about to happen Wifey and I managed to get him under his cover quicker than a Wimbledon tennis court. I now looked at the cover and it was still on Eddy this was a relief as last night it danced about all over him but our tour bus was safe and sound under his cosy cover. I knew Wifey was poorly last night as her throat got worse....”Have you taken any vit c?” I enquired “you know, any fruit?” I added as the puzzled look came back at me like a Pete Sampras forearm. “Nah ! “came the answer came back muffled by the sound of a mouthful of crumbs” half a packet of chocolate digestives should do the trick”
Both my girls are sick....Wifey as mentioned and the mini minx ....I wouldn’t need to go to the gym as I ‘d scaled the stairs to her room for the umpteenth time following the wail of “Daddy!!!!!!Mummy!!!!!“ In desperation to get her to sleep I told her a story....sensing that that the tales of Jack the Ripper wasn’t quite doing it for a grumpy overtired poorly 2 year old I decided to make up on the spot my own story. Very soon mini minx was lying quiet listening intently to the trials and tribulations of a magic flying train called steamy.......Soon she was dreaming of white fluffy clouds and steaming trains.....kind of ...flying through ...them?...................as I walked downstairs I realised that with stories like that my kids don’t stand a chance leading a “normal life” This morning however mini minx was full of the joys be it a few snuffles and bounded off to nursery. All you parents you will appreciate that Calpol is indeed a wonderful thing!
At Nursery I had to restrain myself as the nursery problem child spat at my little girl...a complete unprovoked attack. Problem child’s Mum apologetically said “ I don’t know where he gets it from” I felt like saying “His F***ing mouth you imbecile!!!!” It wasn’t pleasant and I felt for the poor little mite.
Chippy Minter came round today he fixed the guttering he was still smarting from having been stopped by the old bill in Nam.....(Cippenham) for holding his mobile phone whilst driving........with his hands free set on?!!!?! these things happen only to Chippy. He was too busy to plank spank but he was briefed as to what to practice and assured he would attend the next rehearsals. On a side note poor Chippy is at this time unlucky with the ladies. He even tried suggesting to one of his customers that she had only rang him up to apologise for a mix up and suggested she had the unfaltering desire to take him out for dinner...........line went dead...!!!! I swear it is true....Chippy has more cheese than Dairy lea.