A song for Europe

I know I know I know.......... The Eurovision song contest is as cool as leak in Sir Cliff Richard’s colostomy bag, but you see being half-Maltese it’s in our culture.....it’s a chance to be on a level par with the rest of Europe even if that par is a considerable low one.
I hear you ask yourselves (I’m imagining this of course ..as apart from mother dearest you are all a bit tight fisted when it comes to adding comments to our blog) what has triggered him to rant about The Eurovision contest now in March when we all know of course it doesn’t take place until May. I read in a newspaper today (the sun so it must be true) that Justin Hawkins ex Darkness has written and is performing a duo with Beverley Brown (whoever she is ) and is competing to be UK’s entry . The UK have not had a great record recently I mean there was Gemini who couldn’t sing a few years back and what was last year all about with the rapper and the women dressed as school girls......Sweden gave us good points they like that kind of thing but everyone else gave a resounding Nil poit!
Personally I can’t wait to see the Lycra clad nutter back out on the stage.....after his re hab has proved so successful.....gave up drugs and fags but taken up Eurovision...Justin I think you need another few weeks in there!!!!!!!
But whoever UK send I’ll be there come May with wifey (forced to sit there mind) in front of the Telly as we endure the massacre of the English language by cheesy foreign compares. Cheering on Malta (and the UK) Ignoring Terry Wogan’s comments about the Maltese singer being as fat as the island she comes from (Wogan there was a price on your head for that one) Sitting on the edge of the seat as the Maltese song is cranked up feeling the lump to the throat as national pride takes a hold (either that or a pringle has gone down the wrong way) Reminding everyone about 1993 when Willie Mangion took Malta to 6th place with “this time” and the scandalous tactical voting by the UK in 1992 forcing poor Mary Spiteri into third with “Little Child” Reminiscing about Malta being at a standstill watching hoping...maybe this year. We’ll be phoning the tele vote as many times as possible in that 20 minute window when we endure last year’s winner showing us that they still can’t sing . Although this year it will be Lordi! The obligatory argument with wifey about who she is voting for.....The swearing at the telly as Cyprus and Greece give each other mutual respect and top points. Even though both songs invariably wouldn’t make it as a Westlife b side. Then the disappointment of neither UK or Malta winning and vowing not to watch that politically driven pile of poo next year as it is crap!!!
But this year Justin we’ll be “watching yoooooouuuuuuuuu” do it for UK!