So there I was amongst the Darkened pipes wires and rafters.....The loft.....a forbidden place full off stuff.
Wifey had just replaced a bulb in the bathroom ,you know the type ,the ones that sit flush with the ceiling? As she unscrewed the thing about twenty dead wasps fell into the bath. The children screamed and despite my protests of they will all be dead I’ll sort it tomorrow Daddy is still recovering from a chest infection...they all stood there on the landing folded arms looking resolute that none of them were going to sleep unless I went and got rid of the wasp nest in the loft now!......The now was emphasised with Wifey’s finger pointing to the loft hatch......I looked at the hatch I gulped ...how I wished I hadn’t watched Aliens on telly the night before.
Before I knew it I was up there in the dim light ,water pipes gurgling, wires running to and fro cobwebs dangling in my hair.......well ok brushing my head. I had to remove some boxes ......I felt like poor Sigourney Weaver....my heart was pounding when then....I saw them........ about seven nests in varying sizes...now I wished I had Sigourney’s flame thrower ...but then I thought that wouldn’t do as the house would burn down.....I relayed my find back to mission control on the landing who unsympathetically said .....”Remove them”.
I looked around me and saw a piece of wood and on all fours approached the nests......I expected one to open up and an alien to crawl out...I grabbed my weapon ....the piece of wood...hardly the blaster come flamethrower gizmo Sigourney had but none the less devastating as I knocked all the nests into oblivion...well into a Morrisons bag any way.
With this , all were happy to sleep in their beds and Dad was the hero returning to the landing........I sat back in front of the telly and I was contemplating having a bath...dirty work Alien hunting......then following a brief channel surf I saw Jaws was on......I opted for a wash instead.
Sunday, 20 December 2009
Monday, 14 December 2009
Problematic Sheep
So I have been busy.....I work for a living now I’ve changed my job .....with the same firm…but I’m not office based now ,so quickly banging out a blog is a thing of the past. At home every spare moment of remotely free time I’m practicing my bass. After my poor performance in Sandhurst I need to do better for the next electric gig (we are going unplugged for some open mic efforts). No the next gig is pressure city for me as it is my boss’s retirement in front of the whole firm past and present ...in a pub ...in Ruislip High Street.
My boss ...or Bruv as he will be known in the blog ...mainly because every where we go...and this includes customers we get asked “Are you brothers?” . At first we denied it.....then Bruv concocted a whole family history as to how we had different surnames different nationalities and different fathers which was quite amusing especially at the point I had to interject and tell him Mother Dearest was upset he hadn’t been round recently...but even that wore thin and now the stock reply is “Yeah” Anyway he retires in February and the band have graciously agreed to play giving up their time and effort. We are supporting “ Any buddy Out There” a buddy Holly type band on the night .Some of the other characters in the office are interesting....it’s almost like an episode of Playschool....(remember ...today we are going to look through the ....round window...except with my firm they seemed to have bricked all the windows up in fear of any light from the end of the tunnel seeping through!!!) Yes playschool......we have Teddy....so named because Bruv reckoned he looks like one with his tight fair bristly hair when he shaves it. He is the office baby too.....I actually had been working a year before Ted was born......he is a guitarist.....and extremely bassist......oh yeah bass player jokes are abundant.......but he gets regular slaps for his troubles...that’s when we can get him out of the woods ..... with his constant picnics....bloody Teddies! We have some other characters like Gemima and Beatrix who I must say are so helpful in the office and save me from doing shed loads of work.....and then of course there is Jonah........Jonah works very very hard but everything she touches turns to rats mostly through no fault of her own it’s just one of those things. In fact I ‘m going to urge her to become an undertaker as knowing her luck ..no one will die thereon......!!!!!!! then there is them that we don’t mention...yes the other team we share an office with...strange band of fellows lead by a Scottish boss from a small fishing village in the far flung nooks and crannies of Scotland......I’d like to tell you more about him but I can’t understand a bloomin word of what comes out of his mouth except...Ayyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!...(in a "we are all doooooomed" kind of voice) but we don’t talk about them...the Voldermorts!!!!!!
So Chrimbo and Yule are in spitting distance.....and all the deckies are out and dusted down....This year wifey has taken a keen interest in the crib scene aka Presepju in Maltese households. I look at the carefully positioned figurines (they all have their place) and then I find a sheep on top of the inn or sheep scattered all round flippin Bethlehem......even found one in the crib the other day (baby Jesus doesn’t take up residency until Christmas morning.....well he hasn’t been born yet!!!!! Well actually he was born in March but that is a whole new blog that I’m not going to get into here) Maybe them shepherd should stop washing their socks in front of the telly and sort it out!!!!!!
I’ll promise to blog before Yule.......honest
My boss ...or Bruv as he will be known in the blog ...mainly because every where we go...and this includes customers we get asked “Are you brothers?” . At first we denied it.....then Bruv concocted a whole family history as to how we had different surnames different nationalities and different fathers which was quite amusing especially at the point I had to interject and tell him Mother Dearest was upset he hadn’t been round recently...but even that wore thin and now the stock reply is “Yeah” Anyway he retires in February and the band have graciously agreed to play giving up their time and effort. We are supporting “ Any buddy Out There” a buddy Holly type band on the night .Some of the other characters in the office are interesting....it’s almost like an episode of Playschool....(remember ...today we are going to look through the ....round window...except with my firm they seemed to have bricked all the windows up in fear of any light from the end of the tunnel seeping through!!!) Yes playschool......we have Teddy....so named because Bruv reckoned he looks like one with his tight fair bristly hair when he shaves it. He is the office baby too.....I actually had been working a year before Ted was born......he is a guitarist.....and extremely bassist......oh yeah bass player jokes are abundant.......but he gets regular slaps for his troubles...that’s when we can get him out of the woods ..... with his constant picnics....bloody Teddies! We have some other characters like Gemima and Beatrix who I must say are so helpful in the office and save me from doing shed loads of work.....and then of course there is Jonah........Jonah works very very hard but everything she touches turns to rats mostly through no fault of her own it’s just one of those things. In fact I ‘m going to urge her to become an undertaker as knowing her luck ..no one will die thereon......!!!!!!! then there is them that we don’t mention...yes the other team we share an office with...strange band of fellows lead by a Scottish boss from a small fishing village in the far flung nooks and crannies of Scotland......I’d like to tell you more about him but I can’t understand a bloomin word of what comes out of his mouth except...Ayyyyyeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!...(in a "we are all doooooomed" kind of voice) but we don’t talk about them...the Voldermorts!!!!!!
So Chrimbo and Yule are in spitting distance.....and all the deckies are out and dusted down....This year wifey has taken a keen interest in the crib scene aka Presepju in Maltese households. I look at the carefully positioned figurines (they all have their place) and then I find a sheep on top of the inn or sheep scattered all round flippin Bethlehem......even found one in the crib the other day (baby Jesus doesn’t take up residency until Christmas morning.....well he hasn’t been born yet!!!!! Well actually he was born in March but that is a whole new blog that I’m not going to get into here) Maybe them shepherd should stop washing their socks in front of the telly and sort it out!!!!!!
I’ll promise to blog before Yule.......honest
Tuesday, 17 November 2009
Strike a Pose
Preparations for gigs vary from band to band…... and band member to band member. I'd imagine that a really established band that have a set or a set of sets and songs they always play and on a regular three nights a week basis just go into automatic mode and are so used to gigging it's not given a second thought. This is a shame really as although Spriggan Mist seem to be more in demand recently our proffessions and to a certain extent our type of music means we get a steady stream of gigs as oposed to the torrent that some bands have . This however for us means each gig is an event at lease it is for me….so there is certain rituals I go through before the gig. One of which is the trying on of stage attire…..an alien event for our guitarist violinist…gurning boy aka gizmo kid…Bless him he really isn't sure about the whole stage dressing up thing…..which is cool and he probably will wear something enigmatic and low key…but I'm sure he is going to shock me one day and turn up dressed like Adam Ant thrusting his pelvis forward, wrists crossed above his head shouting prince charming ! Through a contorted lipstick streaked face!!!!!!.....now there's a vision.
On this particular mirror hogging session I was trying on the black combats , white pirate shirt and burgundy waistcoat complete with spriggan hat……I even grabbed the bass from it's rack pranced around the bedroom playing, pouting in a Posh Spice kind of way and generally did the rockstar thing…..You see I have had years of practice at this …..As a martial artist who went up through the grades to second dan every new grade achieved, a posing session was soon to follow. (usually in some strange Van damme pose which bore no resemblance to any martial arts stance I had been studying) It was last week when I was in the full throws of a self indulgent posing session…..almost as lost in myself as brother dearest the Dark Marge was circa 1981 when I caught him in front of the mirror dancing in a madness type way to Baggy Trousers complete with trilby and Fred Perry..when the door bell went ….poo poo poo I thought …ditch the hat …ditch the waist coat …ah no! the caller is the parcel man can't let him go so I raced to the door quite hot and bothered in a white pirate shirt complete with puffy arms laces and cords and black combats . The parcel man looked at me as if it was quite normal ……although I could see his eyes looking me up and down as I signed for the parcel…then our new neighbours went by ….nearly walking into the nearest bush as they saw their madcap neighbour dressed like blackbeard…..The parcel man walked off as if nothing untoward had happened ..although i'm sure I heard him say under his breath …….arrghh Cap'n!!!! As he sniggered to himself up the path….
So as our gig Mission for Rwanda looms on 25/11/2009 I will begin the other ritual…ironing the attire..not so cool but the risk assessment for embarassment is significantly lower
On this particular mirror hogging session I was trying on the black combats , white pirate shirt and burgundy waistcoat complete with spriggan hat……I even grabbed the bass from it's rack pranced around the bedroom playing, pouting in a Posh Spice kind of way and generally did the rockstar thing…..You see I have had years of practice at this …..As a martial artist who went up through the grades to second dan every new grade achieved, a posing session was soon to follow. (usually in some strange Van damme pose which bore no resemblance to any martial arts stance I had been studying) It was last week when I was in the full throws of a self indulgent posing session…..almost as lost in myself as brother dearest the Dark Marge was circa 1981 when I caught him in front of the mirror dancing in a madness type way to Baggy Trousers complete with trilby and Fred Perry..when the door bell went ….poo poo poo I thought …ditch the hat …ditch the waist coat …ah no! the caller is the parcel man can't let him go so I raced to the door quite hot and bothered in a white pirate shirt complete with puffy arms laces and cords and black combats . The parcel man looked at me as if it was quite normal ……although I could see his eyes looking me up and down as I signed for the parcel…then our new neighbours went by ….nearly walking into the nearest bush as they saw their madcap neighbour dressed like blackbeard…..The parcel man walked off as if nothing untoward had happened ..although i'm sure I heard him say under his breath …….arrghh Cap'n!!!! As he sniggered to himself up the path….
So as our gig Mission for Rwanda looms on 25/11/2009 I will begin the other ritual…ironing the attire..not so cool but the risk assessment for embarassment is significantly lower
Saturday, 14 November 2009
Indigo Child
This blog relatres to the new song by Spriggan Mist but before I talk about that what are Indigo children here is an exerpt from The New Kids Have Arrived
By Lee Carroll and Jan Tober
What is an Indigo Child? And why do we call them Indigo? First, the definition: an Indigo Child is one who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes and shows a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before. This pattern has common unique factors that suggest that those who interact with them (parents, in particular) change their treatment and upbringing of them in order to achieve balance. To ignore these new patterns is to potentially create imbalance and frustration in the mind of this precious new life. The subject of this chapter is to identify, qualify, and validate the attributes of an Indigo Child.
There seem to be several kinds of Indigos, and we will describe them later in this chapter, but in the following list we can give you some of the most common behavioral patterns. Do these fit anyone you know?
Here are ten of the most common traits of Indigo Children:
1. They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it).
2. They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when
others don't share that.
3. Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents "who they are."
4. They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without
explanation or choice).
5. They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is
difficult for them.
6. They get frustrated with systems that are ritual-oriented and don't
require creative thought.
7. They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school,
which makes them seem like "system busters" (nonconforming to any system).
8. They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no
others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward,
feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely
difficult for them socially.
9. They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets
home and finds out what you did").
10. They are not shy in letting you know what they need.
So when wifey penned the song lyrics and tune about a year ago we kind of knew who this was about . Gurning boy came on the scene and this is the resulting song ( you can hear it by going onto the new website Sprigganmist.com or onto our myspace
This song has been beautifully produced and mixed by the Gurning boy and gives a little insight to Spriggan Mist's forth coming CD sometime next year. We will also be playing this live for the first time at Mission for Rwanda at Sandhurst Secondary School on 25/11/2009.
this is the first time the new band has recorded live as a whole ..enjoy
By Lee Carroll and Jan Tober
What is an Indigo Child? And why do we call them Indigo? First, the definition: an Indigo Child is one who displays a new and unusual set of psychological attributes and shows a pattern of behavior generally undocumented before. This pattern has common unique factors that suggest that those who interact with them (parents, in particular) change their treatment and upbringing of them in order to achieve balance. To ignore these new patterns is to potentially create imbalance and frustration in the mind of this precious new life. The subject of this chapter is to identify, qualify, and validate the attributes of an Indigo Child.
There seem to be several kinds of Indigos, and we will describe them later in this chapter, but in the following list we can give you some of the most common behavioral patterns. Do these fit anyone you know?
Here are ten of the most common traits of Indigo Children:
1. They come into the world with a feeling of royalty (and often act like it).
2. They have a feeling of "deserving to be here," and are surprised when
others don't share that.
3. Self-worth is not a big issue. They often tell the parents "who they are."
4. They have difficulty with absolute authority (authority without
explanation or choice).
5. They simply will not do certain things; for example, waiting in line is
difficult for them.
6. They get frustrated with systems that are ritual-oriented and don't
require creative thought.
7. They often see better ways of doing things, both at home and in school,
which makes them seem like "system busters" (nonconforming to any system).
8. They seem antisocial unless they are with their own kind. If there are no
others of like consciousness around them, they often turn inward,
feeling like no other human understands them. School is often extremely
difficult for them socially.
9. They will not respond to "guilt" discipline ("Wait till your father gets
home and finds out what you did").
10. They are not shy in letting you know what they need.
So when wifey penned the song lyrics and tune about a year ago we kind of knew who this was about . Gurning boy came on the scene and this is the resulting song ( you can hear it by going onto the new website Sprigganmist.com or onto our myspace
This song has been beautifully produced and mixed by the Gurning boy and gives a little insight to Spriggan Mist's forth coming CD sometime next year. We will also be playing this live for the first time at Mission for Rwanda at Sandhurst Secondary School on 25/11/2009.
this is the first time the new band has recorded live as a whole ..enjoy
Friday, 16 October 2009
X Factor Lasagne
Wow peeps it's been a while I hear you say.Well actually I don't. My blog has been accessed nearly 15,000 times......I don't know why or how the sudden increase but does anyone comment or engage in light banter.......no. It's kind of lonely out here in blogland....
Today Blogites I'm going to talk about that evil thing that has crept into our lives. It will bring the book 1984 into reality in the next few years i'm sure. yes you got it ....FACEBOOK.
Considering we are a nation of pinko fluffy lefties that object in general to intrusive CCTV....we detest the thought of ID cards feel we shouldn't have to bow down to the authorities (all of which I personally do not have problem with but I talk on behalf of the majority here ) So we object to being caught on CCTV 200 times a day but......we are happy that the 782 odd "friends " on facebook get "Joe Bloggs is having a dump" or my favourite is "Angela average is up and ready for work".....Well fantastic for her my life is fulfilled knowing what time Angela Average gets up. I know all sorts about loads of people I really don't know....I know that some girl I know to nod to in the corridor at work is going out with the best bloke this side of the northern hemisphere, that one of the Mum's on the school run has the hots for Brad Pitt....then just when i thought it was all petty mindless fun ...it started, oh yes .....the devils evil that is X factor.....Facebook punditry surrounding X factor just does my head in!!!!!
I'm not going into the morals of how I feel X factor is an exploitation of talented singers who do not want to graft their way to the top. I liken it to Lasagne.....Yup Lasagne. Now you buy a microwave lasagne from Tescos...heat it up and eat it....it was ok did the job quite tasty but you probably won't be telling your friends about it would you...it's a quick fix meal......Go down to your nearest Italian restaurant where your Lasagne is cooked with the best ingredients in an oven to perfection over an hour or so with care and attention and you'll probably let your mates know you had a good bit of food at that restaurant. X Factor sadly is the microwave meal, the decent musicians and singers have grafted and learned their trade...their cheese has browned nicely these guys have got some cool ingredients but when microwaved the end product isn't quite as good when you get beneath the surface. Whilst we are talking about Lasagne can you pure blood English stop serving salad with your pasta dishes....lasagne and salad does not go ......Barbarians!....anyway people decide to put on facebook vote nobby off and oh I like so and so..................get a life guys the only real winner is Simon Cowell. One of the mums's on school run "Loopy" has been debating on facebook with me on how she loves the programme she is well sucked into it . Loopy just can't see what I'm seeing !!!!
It's all very sad.then there is the swearing. Now I am no Mother Theresa and there is nothing like a spontaneous barriage of expletives to get things off your chest but i have just deleted two profiles this morning because people ...family members no less find it funny to use such words in order to m,ake themselves sound funny. Yeah they are young but still I got my Victor Meldrew head on and did my bestest Cyberman impression "DELETE"...now there is a story for the new Dr Who series. (in best cyberman voice) I DON'T BELIVE IT .....DELETE
Well gotta go ..lovin my new role at work ...loads of blogging material to come out of it more next time
Today Blogites I'm going to talk about that evil thing that has crept into our lives. It will bring the book 1984 into reality in the next few years i'm sure. yes you got it ....FACEBOOK.
Considering we are a nation of pinko fluffy lefties that object in general to intrusive CCTV....we detest the thought of ID cards feel we shouldn't have to bow down to the authorities (all of which I personally do not have problem with but I talk on behalf of the majority here ) So we object to being caught on CCTV 200 times a day but......we are happy that the 782 odd "friends " on facebook get "Joe Bloggs is having a dump" or my favourite is "Angela average is up and ready for work".....Well fantastic for her my life is fulfilled knowing what time Angela Average gets up. I know all sorts about loads of people I really don't know....I know that some girl I know to nod to in the corridor at work is going out with the best bloke this side of the northern hemisphere, that one of the Mum's on the school run has the hots for Brad Pitt....then just when i thought it was all petty mindless fun ...it started, oh yes .....the devils evil that is X factor.....Facebook punditry surrounding X factor just does my head in!!!!!
I'm not going into the morals of how I feel X factor is an exploitation of talented singers who do not want to graft their way to the top. I liken it to Lasagne.....Yup Lasagne. Now you buy a microwave lasagne from Tescos...heat it up and eat it....it was ok did the job quite tasty but you probably won't be telling your friends about it would you...it's a quick fix meal......Go down to your nearest Italian restaurant where your Lasagne is cooked with the best ingredients in an oven to perfection over an hour or so with care and attention and you'll probably let your mates know you had a good bit of food at that restaurant. X Factor sadly is the microwave meal, the decent musicians and singers have grafted and learned their trade...their cheese has browned nicely these guys have got some cool ingredients but when microwaved the end product isn't quite as good when you get beneath the surface. Whilst we are talking about Lasagne can you pure blood English stop serving salad with your pasta dishes....lasagne and salad does not go ......Barbarians!....anyway people decide to put on facebook vote nobby off and oh I like so and so..................get a life guys the only real winner is Simon Cowell. One of the mums's on school run "Loopy" has been debating on facebook with me on how she loves the programme she is well sucked into it . Loopy just can't see what I'm seeing !!!!
It's all very sad.then there is the swearing. Now I am no Mother Theresa and there is nothing like a spontaneous barriage of expletives to get things off your chest but i have just deleted two profiles this morning because people ...family members no less find it funny to use such words in order to m,ake themselves sound funny. Yeah they are young but still I got my Victor Meldrew head on and did my bestest Cyberman impression "DELETE"...now there is a story for the new Dr Who series. (in best cyberman voice) I DON'T BELIVE IT .....DELETE
Well gotta go ..lovin my new role at work ...loads of blogging material to come out of it more next time
Tuesday, 22 September 2009
We're back at it
These strange musicians turned up on my doorstep last night and after some careful interrogation I realised they were Spriggan Mist!!!! Yes the Gizmo kids have taken a sabbatical from their holidays to come to rehearsals …they are off again this week while Gurning Boy celebrates another birthday.
Has been a month since we met and it's amazing …… the song Northern Lights has gone all mellow and Lonely Shore has had the proverbial kicked out of it and turned into a rock song a'la Dolmen….we have persuaded Gurning boy not to strip off to bare chest and prance around in a kilt like The Dolmen's charismatic front man Taloch….(I am definitely not putting my hair into blonde dreadlocks and wearing a basque as their bass player does…...............she is female of course……I'm not ……I'm sure you have noticed…) but it is all good!
Before I could do any band practice I had to help my eight year old boy , Rock Star to do his homework……the question he had was
" What religion was Jesus brought up in?" Rockstar gave me a blank expression…………….so I said trying to funnel the answer out of him..
"Well ok, Jesus was said to be the King of the J…..?" his reply was quick
"Jungle" he shouted….hmmm
Try explaining that one away to his teacher.
Has been a month since we met and it's amazing …… the song Northern Lights has gone all mellow and Lonely Shore has had the proverbial kicked out of it and turned into a rock song a'la Dolmen….we have persuaded Gurning boy not to strip off to bare chest and prance around in a kilt like The Dolmen's charismatic front man Taloch….(I am definitely not putting my hair into blonde dreadlocks and wearing a basque as their bass player does…...............she is female of course……I'm not ……I'm sure you have noticed…) but it is all good!
Before I could do any band practice I had to help my eight year old boy , Rock Star to do his homework……the question he had was
" What religion was Jesus brought up in?" Rockstar gave me a blank expression…………….so I said trying to funnel the answer out of him..
"Well ok, Jesus was said to be the King of the J…..?" his reply was quick
"Jungle" he shouted….hmmm
Try explaining that one away to his teacher.
Tuesday, 8 September 2009
Bell bottoms and vol-au-vonts
I sat there feeling rather odd. It was 2009 yet it felt like 1975 my wig was so long it got in the way of my mouth when scoffing the party food. Everything was tight and clingy until the knee than everything was saggy. There were sequins,platforms and hair balls bouncing around me bopping to disco classics like...ABC ...YMCA..Dancing Queen and I feel loved. There were huge afro wigs and big medallions walking in and out of the kitchen........yes it was a 70s disco party. Twas indeedy Wifey's bessie mate's 40th......horse woman...(not coz she has a long face...she likes horses)decided to have an ABBA/70s themed party. I was born in 1971 so i toyed with the idea of turning up in a nappy......there was an abundant Anfrida and the other one... and a few Benny and bjorns but for me the best outfit was the bloke that turned up in jeans and t shirt.......he had a toilet seat around his neck to which was taped a bottle of Evian......he walked in and we all in unison said ....Waterloo!!!! wish i'd thought of that. Jockanese K...MBE who happens to be Horse Woman's brother in law was dressed in a really camp blonde wig and a white flared outfit.....if only the Taliban could see him now!!!it would be enough to withdraw and never come back to Afghanistan. I suppose it was a good night....no it was a good night but Mrs Jokanese K ...MBE was trigger happy on the old camera and facebook will sure to be showing pictures soon ...groan
So Mother Dearest is off galavanting for the week.....yes she is with Ol'Texas. Well you have heard of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? Lone Ranger and Tonto? (actually why was he called a "Lone Ranger"? Tonto was always sniffing round wasn't he?......in fact there was a rumour that they wee in fact America's first gay couple ...I mean the village people certainly modelled themselves on the western crime fighters) any way where was I? oh yes......you've heard of Batman and Robin? DangerMouse and Penfold? well MD and Texas are more like ..Hinge and Bracket without the piano....and not blokes..... Basingstoke's local Police have had an all cars warning go out and the pair are being closely monitored should MD in particular become agro. Now i've lived in Basingstoke and there isn't a great deal to do there so I can only think MD is getting a crash course in Chainsaw sculpting for Pensioners or a crammer course in credit card fraud.....but this I understand was a big misunderstanding on Texas' part. Ingenius but none the less a mistake.....Texas junior had a credit card sent throught to the address and Texas signed it thinking it her own and went off into the distance shouting ...spend spend spend!!!!
Two holidays in Barbados and week spinning around to the shops in a Maserati later and she was made to hand the card back!!!!!!(ok that was a slight exageration....she paid her car tax...but hey it made for a better story).
It's easily done though as the initials on the card was really similar she's a P and her son's and S.......
All has been rectified in this case and Texas has been advised that " She should of gone to Specsavers"
So Mother Dearest is off galavanting for the week.....yes she is with Ol'Texas. Well you have heard of Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid? Lone Ranger and Tonto? (actually why was he called a "Lone Ranger"? Tonto was always sniffing round wasn't he?......in fact there was a rumour that they wee in fact America's first gay couple ...I mean the village people certainly modelled themselves on the western crime fighters) any way where was I? oh yes......you've heard of Batman and Robin? DangerMouse and Penfold? well MD and Texas are more like ..Hinge and Bracket without the piano....and not blokes..... Basingstoke's local Police have had an all cars warning go out and the pair are being closely monitored should MD in particular become agro. Now i've lived in Basingstoke and there isn't a great deal to do there so I can only think MD is getting a crash course in Chainsaw sculpting for Pensioners or a crammer course in credit card fraud.....but this I understand was a big misunderstanding on Texas' part. Ingenius but none the less a mistake.....Texas junior had a credit card sent throught to the address and Texas signed it thinking it her own and went off into the distance shouting ...spend spend spend!!!!
Two holidays in Barbados and week spinning around to the shops in a Maserati later and she was made to hand the card back!!!!!!(ok that was a slight exageration....she paid her car tax...but hey it made for a better story).
It's easily done though as the initials on the card was really similar she's a P and her son's and S.......
All has been rectified in this case and Texas has been advised that " She should of gone to Specsavers"
Wednesday, 26 August 2009
Speed
So there I stood…with the convicted….well sort of……..About forty of us stood in a queue giving our licenses in to check us off the list to make sure who we were …yes I was on a speed awareness course.
Around me I could see that most were older than me….I was scanning the conversations and I could hear
"Well it's not really speeding is it 34 in a 30?"
"wonder how much money they are making out of this?"
"Waste of my time"
I wanted to shout out loud ……."we were speeding!....deal with it….we are here cos we don't want points on the license !!!!!!!!!!!"
Quite a few of the group were a bit subdued doing the walk of shame into the building ..a bit like being voted off the weekest link ….all that was needed was a plaque around the neck saying …."I am a sinner" or "Speeder" Then there was the fat jovial bloke……who anounced that there was no need for them to look at his license as he had been here before….(which technically can't happen within three years ) He was so proud that he was there …hey why not go the whole hog and gett a conviction for drink driving as well ….. There was of course the obligatory big head……won't change him this course……he had been driving for 100 years and never got a ticket…..he was a good driver and was just unlucky……..hmmm but you were speeding big head! The stereotypical rich lady from the country she was there too.She never ever speeds but got caught out as the speed limit suddenly changed from 50 to 30 mph….don't you just hate it it when it does that…boof as if by magic!……….maybe she should try looking further than her bonnet!!!!!!!! Lift your vision me lady!!!!!!…...
The crux of it all is everyone does go a little or a bit over the speed limit at times……inadvertantly or not. I have had further driving training (I didn't admit to this on the course and my anonymity was intact for it) and I reckon (in fact I know)I can drive safely at speeds better than your average bear but you there is no excuse….even if as was my case a smidgin over 30, we were all guilty of speeding…..
So has it changed my driving? ……well the video footages of the difference in stopping time between 35 mph and 30 mph and what it did to the cardboard cut out of a kid in the road which the Class one all singing all dancing traffic Police driver was running over does play on your mind somewhat. I tell you what …...I will try and avoid those cut out people when they stand in the road in future…..!!!!!!
What did surprise me is the complete lack of knowledge of speed limits and hazards that the general P have…………We had these little "ask the audience" buttons where we voted for the right answer and only 40 percent of the class got the answer right for the national speed limit on a dual carriageway!!!!!! and single carriageway wasn't much better.
So what did I learn from my experience at speed awareness scheme…? That the older generation are far better at kidding themselves they are good driver than the younger generation. That there are some really crap drivers on the road. That the coffee machine churned out some great hot chocolate …….and of course…..watch my speed…..
Come Monday I am back out in the field……a change from office work I've been doing for the last two and a half years and I am looking forward to it…..A whole new set of colleagues to blog about and a new town to write about…..Ruislip. Weird old place really you would think it would be pronounced Roo slip wouldn't you….. No….. it's rice lip..for those not in the know…..Full of the posher people in Hillingdon no less.
So one bids you farewell so does one.
Around me I could see that most were older than me….I was scanning the conversations and I could hear
"Well it's not really speeding is it 34 in a 30?"
"wonder how much money they are making out of this?"
"Waste of my time"
I wanted to shout out loud ……."we were speeding!....deal with it….we are here cos we don't want points on the license !!!!!!!!!!!"
Quite a few of the group were a bit subdued doing the walk of shame into the building ..a bit like being voted off the weekest link ….all that was needed was a plaque around the neck saying …."I am a sinner" or "Speeder" Then there was the fat jovial bloke……who anounced that there was no need for them to look at his license as he had been here before….(which technically can't happen within three years ) He was so proud that he was there …hey why not go the whole hog and gett a conviction for drink driving as well ….. There was of course the obligatory big head……won't change him this course……he had been driving for 100 years and never got a ticket…..he was a good driver and was just unlucky……..hmmm but you were speeding big head! The stereotypical rich lady from the country she was there too.She never ever speeds but got caught out as the speed limit suddenly changed from 50 to 30 mph….don't you just hate it it when it does that…boof as if by magic!……….maybe she should try looking further than her bonnet!!!!!!!! Lift your vision me lady!!!!!!…...
The crux of it all is everyone does go a little or a bit over the speed limit at times……inadvertantly or not. I have had further driving training (I didn't admit to this on the course and my anonymity was intact for it) and I reckon (in fact I know)I can drive safely at speeds better than your average bear but you there is no excuse….even if as was my case a smidgin over 30, we were all guilty of speeding…..
So has it changed my driving? ……well the video footages of the difference in stopping time between 35 mph and 30 mph and what it did to the cardboard cut out of a kid in the road which the Class one all singing all dancing traffic Police driver was running over does play on your mind somewhat. I tell you what …...I will try and avoid those cut out people when they stand in the road in future…..!!!!!!
What did surprise me is the complete lack of knowledge of speed limits and hazards that the general P have…………We had these little "ask the audience" buttons where we voted for the right answer and only 40 percent of the class got the answer right for the national speed limit on a dual carriageway!!!!!! and single carriageway wasn't much better.
So what did I learn from my experience at speed awareness scheme…? That the older generation are far better at kidding themselves they are good driver than the younger generation. That there are some really crap drivers on the road. That the coffee machine churned out some great hot chocolate …….and of course…..watch my speed…..
Come Monday I am back out in the field……a change from office work I've been doing for the last two and a half years and I am looking forward to it…..A whole new set of colleagues to blog about and a new town to write about…..Ruislip. Weird old place really you would think it would be pronounced Roo slip wouldn't you….. No….. it's rice lip..for those not in the know…..Full of the posher people in Hillingdon no less.
So one bids you farewell so does one.
Friday, 21 August 2009
In need of surgery
It's going to hurt but the marvels of modern day medicine will ensure that Lil Miss C is surgically removed succesfully from her laptop and her thirst for MSN and facebook.
Yes our 16 year old niece Lil Miss is up from Weymouth. Now I'm not sure if this is a common trait amongst the teenage fraternity of the Dorset coastal resort that they can't communicate unless via keyboard but Lil Miss seems to have a mad desire to communicate with all her friends at once via these social websites for the best part of her hours awake ....and in her sleep as well.....
I mean ,I was on the darn PC the other morning and into my inbox came the message from facebook from Lil Miss....."I'll be down in the minute" ?!?!?! she even sent a hello message when she was tapping away in the kitchen "hello" ...now when i say tapping I don't mean dancing either.....the only dancing that has occurred in our kitchen this week was me doing the dance of joy when Wifey shouted out from the front room in an automated "vehicle reversing" type voice...."Lil Miss has left the Laptop...:Lil Miss has left the laptop" I broke out into a spontaneous dance of joy as she walked into the kitchen to replenish her glass of Pepsi ...the dance resembled a Bhangra dance!!!! Lil Miss looked at me as I explained you had to screw the light bulb with your hand above your head and pat the dog with the other.......then I doubted myself ....was it screw the dog and pat the light bulb...the sight of me patting the ceiling and gyrating my hips doggy style by the cooker was abit too much for Lil miss so she returned back to her comfort zone ...hidden behind her laptop shaking her head and muttering how her parents had warned her that their sister and brother in law were going through a mid life crisis with the piercings and the faeries and spriggans and that she had to humour us.
Hey I'm used to humiliating myself now......Wifey and I spent most of last Saturday with our hands up the backsides of stuffed toys entertaining Mini minx's friends at her party......an avenue we are exploring is this...children's entertainers......We had loads of rubbish and the hall administrator at the church makes it his undying duty to make hiring the hall the hardest thing ever ...I'm sure he measured if we put the chairs back the allotted 5 cms apart!!!!! anyway he told me we had to take our rubbish with us. So there i was fresh from entertaining 20 odd 5 year olds...when I say odd i don't mean they were odd.....well not all of them....anyway I loaded the car up with our props which included obligatory faery door and big papier mache Toadstools painted in red and white just to make sure they stand out. I was dressed in a pixie hood white pirate style lace up shirt multicoloured stripey trousers and sandals. would have looked good at a medieval fair or a gig even... but down the dump with my bags of rubbish ....no.....I was getting these odd stares from people as my pixie hood swung behind my back as I off loaded my refuse......I caught the eye of a middle aged woman ...you know the sort, prim proper Mrs ordinary .....she was staring at me with apoker face in utter disaproval of me and my amazing collection of toadstools...I nearly said ...."what's the problem ?..they are only for personal use!!!!"
I drove off thinking what a discriminatory society we lived in ...when a pixie or faery (not that I am either) can't throw his refuse in the dump without getting glared at.....
So I part with you all today with a clanger I dropped in rehearsals on Monday...a Freudian slip as opposed to my rank bass playing that is.....
I announced to the band that wifey......wants a 12 inch.........of course I was referring to a 12 string.....
Yes our 16 year old niece Lil Miss is up from Weymouth. Now I'm not sure if this is a common trait amongst the teenage fraternity of the Dorset coastal resort that they can't communicate unless via keyboard but Lil Miss seems to have a mad desire to communicate with all her friends at once via these social websites for the best part of her hours awake ....and in her sleep as well.....
I mean ,I was on the darn PC the other morning and into my inbox came the message from facebook from Lil Miss....."I'll be down in the minute" ?!?!?! she even sent a hello message when she was tapping away in the kitchen "hello" ...now when i say tapping I don't mean dancing either.....the only dancing that has occurred in our kitchen this week was me doing the dance of joy when Wifey shouted out from the front room in an automated "vehicle reversing" type voice...."Lil Miss has left the Laptop...:Lil Miss has left the laptop" I broke out into a spontaneous dance of joy as she walked into the kitchen to replenish her glass of Pepsi ...the dance resembled a Bhangra dance!!!! Lil Miss looked at me as I explained you had to screw the light bulb with your hand above your head and pat the dog with the other.......then I doubted myself ....was it screw the dog and pat the light bulb...the sight of me patting the ceiling and gyrating my hips doggy style by the cooker was abit too much for Lil miss so she returned back to her comfort zone ...hidden behind her laptop shaking her head and muttering how her parents had warned her that their sister and brother in law were going through a mid life crisis with the piercings and the faeries and spriggans and that she had to humour us.
Hey I'm used to humiliating myself now......Wifey and I spent most of last Saturday with our hands up the backsides of stuffed toys entertaining Mini minx's friends at her party......an avenue we are exploring is this...children's entertainers......We had loads of rubbish and the hall administrator at the church makes it his undying duty to make hiring the hall the hardest thing ever ...I'm sure he measured if we put the chairs back the allotted 5 cms apart!!!!! anyway he told me we had to take our rubbish with us. So there i was fresh from entertaining 20 odd 5 year olds...when I say odd i don't mean they were odd.....well not all of them....anyway I loaded the car up with our props which included obligatory faery door and big papier mache Toadstools painted in red and white just to make sure they stand out. I was dressed in a pixie hood white pirate style lace up shirt multicoloured stripey trousers and sandals. would have looked good at a medieval fair or a gig even... but down the dump with my bags of rubbish ....no.....I was getting these odd stares from people as my pixie hood swung behind my back as I off loaded my refuse......I caught the eye of a middle aged woman ...you know the sort, prim proper Mrs ordinary .....she was staring at me with apoker face in utter disaproval of me and my amazing collection of toadstools...I nearly said ...."what's the problem ?..they are only for personal use!!!!"
I drove off thinking what a discriminatory society we lived in ...when a pixie or faery (not that I am either) can't throw his refuse in the dump without getting glared at.....
So I part with you all today with a clanger I dropped in rehearsals on Monday...a Freudian slip as opposed to my rank bass playing that is.....
I announced to the band that wifey......wants a 12 inch.........of course I was referring to a 12 string.....
Wednesday, 12 August 2009
Pasties and Exercise
The choice was ….Malta …or Cornwall……..hmmmm as Mick Hucknall said…"money's too tight to mention"…this year we'll do Cornwall….actually I'm saying the we'll do Cornwall bit not Hucknall …...So this year we forfeited the sun and family in Malta for the rain of Cornwall
Tintagel is a lovely place and we thoroughly enjoyed the whole Arthurian thing…..but my God did it rain?........which considering on the most rainy of days we went to Boscastle almost 5 years to the day that 3 metre high flood waves crashed through the town…we must be mad.
Pasties and Cornish icecream…….beautiful……..although my children opting for a sausage roll and Cornetto from Spar still bewilders me…..but then that is the innocence of youth is it not? The same as Rock Star my 8 year old boy whilst walking through a cow field with our dog asked me if it was allright for Doodles to do poo in the field ….I did point out the cowpats and and he put his hands on his hips and in his bestest Rigsby from Rising Damp pose…(blimey I'm showing some age now) said to me in disgust….well someone needs to do a poo patrol around here (poo patrol is when we pooper scoop the garden at home)
But the hollies are a distant memory now...back to the fun filled world of work ...wooo hooo! We do however have a fun filled weekend to look forward to....We are seeing U2 at Wembley Friday...Mini minx who has just turned 5 has her birthday party on Saturday and then we are hot footing down to Canterbury on Sunday to the Goddess show where Dragon Fly Moon are playing then to top it all off tis band rehearsal on Monday .......I’m trying to learn a bass line for a cover we are looking to do of that 70’s hit Northern Lights by Renaissance....(singer song writer musician of which lives next door virtually to the Gizmos incidentally) The bass line is all over the fret board and I must admit ...it’s hard going and yours truelly is having to work on this ....(rotters) but no pressure.....I’m sure the main man from Renaissance really won’t mind me ripping his song to pieces ....aghhhh!!!! more on that next blog however.....
Mother Dearest is on a fitness drive.......oh yes she circum navigates her sheltered accommodation daily ....(I mean the whole building not just her flat) Whilst we were on holidays she decided to have a go at the cross trainer machine that is situated in a little gym area they have there ......as she fought her way through the cobwebs she climbed on the machine and started pacing .....she found it very hard going the resistance was too much and had to stop very soon after starting. When she proudly told me of her little jaunt on the machine I asked if she had set the resistance low ....she looked at me perplexed and told me she had twiddled some knob......”well what did the display say?” I enquired...”well nothing was on it” she replied......Then the million dollar question beckoned........
“Did you have it switched on?...or even plugged in?”
”What plug? Do you mean you have to plug it in ?” she exclaimed
Tintagel is a lovely place and we thoroughly enjoyed the whole Arthurian thing…..but my God did it rain?........which considering on the most rainy of days we went to Boscastle almost 5 years to the day that 3 metre high flood waves crashed through the town…we must be mad.
Pasties and Cornish icecream…….beautiful……..although my children opting for a sausage roll and Cornetto from Spar still bewilders me…..but then that is the innocence of youth is it not? The same as Rock Star my 8 year old boy whilst walking through a cow field with our dog asked me if it was allright for Doodles to do poo in the field ….I did point out the cowpats and and he put his hands on his hips and in his bestest Rigsby from Rising Damp pose…(blimey I'm showing some age now) said to me in disgust….well someone needs to do a poo patrol around here (poo patrol is when we pooper scoop the garden at home)
But the hollies are a distant memory now...back to the fun filled world of work ...wooo hooo! We do however have a fun filled weekend to look forward to....We are seeing U2 at Wembley Friday...Mini minx who has just turned 5 has her birthday party on Saturday and then we are hot footing down to Canterbury on Sunday to the Goddess show where Dragon Fly Moon are playing then to top it all off tis band rehearsal on Monday .......I’m trying to learn a bass line for a cover we are looking to do of that 70’s hit Northern Lights by Renaissance....(singer song writer musician of which lives next door virtually to the Gizmos incidentally) The bass line is all over the fret board and I must admit ...it’s hard going and yours truelly is having to work on this ....(rotters) but no pressure.....I’m sure the main man from Renaissance really won’t mind me ripping his song to pieces ....aghhhh!!!! more on that next blog however.....
Mother Dearest is on a fitness drive.......oh yes she circum navigates her sheltered accommodation daily ....(I mean the whole building not just her flat) Whilst we were on holidays she decided to have a go at the cross trainer machine that is situated in a little gym area they have there ......as she fought her way through the cobwebs she climbed on the machine and started pacing .....she found it very hard going the resistance was too much and had to stop very soon after starting. When she proudly told me of her little jaunt on the machine I asked if she had set the resistance low ....she looked at me perplexed and told me she had twiddled some knob......”well what did the display say?” I enquired...”well nothing was on it” she replied......Then the million dollar question beckoned........
“Did you have it switched on?...or even plugged in?”
”What plug? Do you mean you have to plug it in ?” she exclaimed
Friday, 17 July 2009
Car Rant Capers!
Why me? All I want is to sail through life without hassle and people that make my shit itch! Now I know you all know about my calamities I have with automobiles…you know the whole filling with oil and water jobby, but I felt a sharp decrease in performance recently and I just wasn’t getting much acceleration…just a horrible smell and this wasn’t due to excessive vindaloos causing nether regions to play up either…I know how you lot think!
So limping the car into my friendly mechanic I got out and he stuck his nose in the air and told me my clutch was seriously gone!!!! The problem with good mechanics is they can’t do anything …NOW! It’s always a sucking in of breath between clenched teeth and I’ll fit you in next Tuesday type effort so eventually I found out that a popular chain of clutch fitting specialists in Furze Platt could do it for me today……without naming and shaming this specialist has Clutch in the title and is referred to as Mr. Anyway I drove to Furze Platt ( an outskirt of Maidenhead) and it was sweltering a real muggy hot day I flipped on my Aircon without a care in the world…apart from knowing I was about to be fleeced of a couple of hundred pound for a new clutch that is.
So I got the car there and this twelve year old in receptionist blokey started talking cars to me. I kind of had a glazed expression on my face ….Hello! I just drive the things not interested that you don’t see many of my type car in for a new clutch and that the clutch that goes the quickest is a Ford KA but then and I quote “They are driven by Women and by men of a certain persuasion that don’t have an appreciation of the clutch”……………………get back to school ……..twat.
So I walked away leaving the stupid boy and the car behind me and had to walk to Furze Platt railway station…and it started to rain…I had no coat ….so there I am without a car in the rain walking breaking my neck cos…… I needed a pee….aha!!! I thought there is a petrol station I will relieve myself at their toilet and carry on with my adventure ……but it was out of order…… rats!!!! I’m now going to pee myself so I mince round to the railway station thinking that there would be a toilet there …..yes I did say mince remember I’m trying to stop me self from weeing . Someone stole the station and plonked a platform at a level crossing…….with no toilet . When I eventually did get to a toilet in Maidenhead it was bliss……
Later that day got the car back it was now a summery evening and I parted with my couple of hundred pounds and drove home nearly taking out a cyclist with my new over zealous clutch making me thrust forward …………oooooooeer!
I put my aircon on but though it wasn’t doing anything …got to Bracknell and thought nothing else of it……next day …it was hot……and yes the aircon was not working…….now call me suspicious……..and maybe simplistic but …
Aircon working………take car to menders ……..Aircon not working………
I reckon it is pretty much a sure deal they have done something to it…but oh no not according to the clutch place…having taken it to two branches walked across the desolate back streets of Slough (don’t know where everyone was)to and from in bright sunshine ….and now I’m stuck with no aircon……..and temperatures have not dropped below 20’ C either.
I wish I lived close enough to work not to have to use the flipping car…I’ve decided I don’t like them……we are left to the mercy of those that fix them then there are the petrol heads who adore all things car……and watch Top Gear…..I mean what an annoying “Swiss Banker” Clarkson is.? Getting excited about curvatures and 0-60 in a nano second …..wooooo hooooo how very bloody exciting …it’s a car!!!!!!…deal with it !!!!…. It gets you from A to B ……..or that is the theory.
As for Formula One …..??? Come on it is as dull as Dot Cotton’s sex life! A procession of fast cars going round and round and round ….the best car wins generally not the best driver…..and lets face it as morbid and rotten as it seems the only reason we used to watch motor racing was to see the crashes and they just don’t happen anymore….. and what’s so clever about driving on smooth roads which always end where you started from anyway?
Jensen Button ..Lewis Hamilton you don’t impress me…….drive your cars across London with a Sat Nav that knows best even when it doesn’t….. avoid getting caught on camera in a bus lane, speeding and/or jumping lights or combination of all …remember to pay your congestion charge and don’t run over any PCSOs……(well not too many anyway)
or put two squabbling kids in the back seats and do the school run whilst running late ……pah…Formula One? tis for A holes..
So I end today’s rant with another profound quote from Grand Pop’s ….our percussionist in response to post gig analysis……
“ You can dissect a frog to see how it jumps…but it will never jump again?”
So limping the car into my friendly mechanic I got out and he stuck his nose in the air and told me my clutch was seriously gone!!!! The problem with good mechanics is they can’t do anything …NOW! It’s always a sucking in of breath between clenched teeth and I’ll fit you in next Tuesday type effort so eventually I found out that a popular chain of clutch fitting specialists in Furze Platt could do it for me today……without naming and shaming this specialist has Clutch in the title and is referred to as Mr. Anyway I drove to Furze Platt ( an outskirt of Maidenhead) and it was sweltering a real muggy hot day I flipped on my Aircon without a care in the world…apart from knowing I was about to be fleeced of a couple of hundred pound for a new clutch that is.
So I got the car there and this twelve year old in receptionist blokey started talking cars to me. I kind of had a glazed expression on my face ….Hello! I just drive the things not interested that you don’t see many of my type car in for a new clutch and that the clutch that goes the quickest is a Ford KA but then and I quote “They are driven by Women and by men of a certain persuasion that don’t have an appreciation of the clutch”……………………get back to school ……..twat.
So I walked away leaving the stupid boy and the car behind me and had to walk to Furze Platt railway station…and it started to rain…I had no coat ….so there I am without a car in the rain walking breaking my neck cos…… I needed a pee….aha!!! I thought there is a petrol station I will relieve myself at their toilet and carry on with my adventure ……but it was out of order…… rats!!!! I’m now going to pee myself so I mince round to the railway station thinking that there would be a toilet there …..yes I did say mince remember I’m trying to stop me self from weeing . Someone stole the station and plonked a platform at a level crossing…….with no toilet . When I eventually did get to a toilet in Maidenhead it was bliss……
Later that day got the car back it was now a summery evening and I parted with my couple of hundred pounds and drove home nearly taking out a cyclist with my new over zealous clutch making me thrust forward …………oooooooeer!
I put my aircon on but though it wasn’t doing anything …got to Bracknell and thought nothing else of it……next day …it was hot……and yes the aircon was not working…….now call me suspicious……..and maybe simplistic but …
Aircon working………take car to menders ……..Aircon not working………
I reckon it is pretty much a sure deal they have done something to it…but oh no not according to the clutch place…having taken it to two branches walked across the desolate back streets of Slough (don’t know where everyone was)to and from in bright sunshine ….and now I’m stuck with no aircon……..and temperatures have not dropped below 20’ C either.
I wish I lived close enough to work not to have to use the flipping car…I’ve decided I don’t like them……we are left to the mercy of those that fix them then there are the petrol heads who adore all things car……and watch Top Gear…..I mean what an annoying “Swiss Banker” Clarkson is.? Getting excited about curvatures and 0-60 in a nano second …..wooooo hooooo how very bloody exciting …it’s a car!!!!!!…deal with it !!!!…. It gets you from A to B ……..or that is the theory.
As for Formula One …..??? Come on it is as dull as Dot Cotton’s sex life! A procession of fast cars going round and round and round ….the best car wins generally not the best driver…..and lets face it as morbid and rotten as it seems the only reason we used to watch motor racing was to see the crashes and they just don’t happen anymore….. and what’s so clever about driving on smooth roads which always end where you started from anyway?
Jensen Button ..Lewis Hamilton you don’t impress me…….drive your cars across London with a Sat Nav that knows best even when it doesn’t….. avoid getting caught on camera in a bus lane, speeding and/or jumping lights or combination of all …remember to pay your congestion charge and don’t run over any PCSOs……(well not too many anyway)
or put two squabbling kids in the back seats and do the school run whilst running late ……pah…Formula One? tis for A holes..
So I end today’s rant with another profound quote from Grand Pop’s ….our percussionist in response to post gig analysis……
“ You can dissect a frog to see how it jumps…but it will never jump again?”
Tuesday, 14 July 2009
The Great Post Office mystery
Even Mother Dearest is at it! Why is it that pensioners do this? ……let me tell…..
It must be something programmed into their heads upon reaching retirement that they must get to the post office half hour before opening about 0830 and queue up in a line twenty people deep. Then upon opening, they file in and wait for another half hour as the cashiers deal with the queue…an hour at the post office yipppeee can’t wait til I retire.…….thing is at 0930 the queue is about five deep and your total trip to the post office is 15 minutes….The problem is for those of us that work the early post office trip is our only opportunity but pensioners have all day to do it!!!!! But oh no…….got to get up early and queue ……then complain about how long it takes……
This is not a practice reserved for Bracknell pensioners only …I see it in Uxbridge too. To make matters worse you stand in the queue and feel compelled to watch a flat screen on the wall with that annoying bloke from the adverts pretending to be funny …you know the one …he’s the post office manager ….Then you hear the sweet automated sound of “ Cashier number 7 please” and off you go to your cashier………who will proceed to talk to you in a really soft voice so you have to press your ear to the little speaker on the glass to have any hope of finding out what they are saying to you……..
I find this almost as annoying as when you go into a petrol station …you buy some items and you go to the cashier and say ….” Just that please” they look at you and say “Any petrol?” I feel like saying …….” Are you calling me a liar?”……I mean why in the hell would I say “just that please” …If I had put petrol in my car I’d say “number 5 please” or “ can I have a carwash “ …….then to add salt into the wounds they do the thing I hate..(and I have broached this in a blog some time a go but for the benefit of my newer readers) They give you your change by putting the coins on the note and the receipt …so you have the bag in one hand a handful of receipts and notes and coins in the other and a queue of people huffing behind you as you put your coins into the coin compartment in your wallet and the notes in the note bit and the receipt in prime position so it can be discarded… is it just me? Or do others find this annoying too?
So tonight is rehearsal night and The band will all file into the log cabin (past the new gnome that Mother Dearest bought for us recently that wolf whistles as you go by it)…incidentally that gnome nearly got it big style the other night ……as wifey and I were in the utility room Wifey went “shhhhhhhhh!…..” putting her finger to her lips and in her bestest Sherlock Holmes looking for clues stance whispered “there is someone in the garden” I listened out and sure enough I heard a faint whistle….I pictured the scene in my head …..two burglars with swag bags …one looking out while the other jemmies the door to the Studio….the whistle was a signal to stop and stand still ……..but then I realised a cat or something must be on the gnome garden as it was the flippin whistling gnome ……We laughed and carried on the rest of the evening
As it was one of those rainy but hot drizzly nights I closed the bedroom curtains on the open window and jumped into bed ..it was midnight and bedtime…. then he started……the gnome…. wolf whistling ……one after the other ……..it was like he was saying … ”Oy tosser …hope you are nice and dry in there as I’m bloody wet out here!!” it was like Chinese water torture and minutes later I could be seen marching down the garden in me boxers turning the little bloke off……”whistle now!” I said to him……as I walked away I bet the little bleeder gave me the finger!!!!
It must be something programmed into their heads upon reaching retirement that they must get to the post office half hour before opening about 0830 and queue up in a line twenty people deep. Then upon opening, they file in and wait for another half hour as the cashiers deal with the queue…an hour at the post office yipppeee can’t wait til I retire.…….thing is at 0930 the queue is about five deep and your total trip to the post office is 15 minutes….The problem is for those of us that work the early post office trip is our only opportunity but pensioners have all day to do it!!!!! But oh no…….got to get up early and queue ……then complain about how long it takes……
This is not a practice reserved for Bracknell pensioners only …I see it in Uxbridge too. To make matters worse you stand in the queue and feel compelled to watch a flat screen on the wall with that annoying bloke from the adverts pretending to be funny …you know the one …he’s the post office manager ….Then you hear the sweet automated sound of “ Cashier number 7 please” and off you go to your cashier………who will proceed to talk to you in a really soft voice so you have to press your ear to the little speaker on the glass to have any hope of finding out what they are saying to you……..
I find this almost as annoying as when you go into a petrol station …you buy some items and you go to the cashier and say ….” Just that please” they look at you and say “Any petrol?” I feel like saying …….” Are you calling me a liar?”……I mean why in the hell would I say “just that please” …If I had put petrol in my car I’d say “number 5 please” or “ can I have a carwash “ …….then to add salt into the wounds they do the thing I hate..(and I have broached this in a blog some time a go but for the benefit of my newer readers) They give you your change by putting the coins on the note and the receipt …so you have the bag in one hand a handful of receipts and notes and coins in the other and a queue of people huffing behind you as you put your coins into the coin compartment in your wallet and the notes in the note bit and the receipt in prime position so it can be discarded… is it just me? Or do others find this annoying too?
So tonight is rehearsal night and The band will all file into the log cabin (past the new gnome that Mother Dearest bought for us recently that wolf whistles as you go by it)…incidentally that gnome nearly got it big style the other night ……as wifey and I were in the utility room Wifey went “shhhhhhhhh!…..” putting her finger to her lips and in her bestest Sherlock Holmes looking for clues stance whispered “there is someone in the garden” I listened out and sure enough I heard a faint whistle….I pictured the scene in my head …..two burglars with swag bags …one looking out while the other jemmies the door to the Studio….the whistle was a signal to stop and stand still ……..but then I realised a cat or something must be on the gnome garden as it was the flippin whistling gnome ……We laughed and carried on the rest of the evening
As it was one of those rainy but hot drizzly nights I closed the bedroom curtains on the open window and jumped into bed ..it was midnight and bedtime…. then he started……the gnome…. wolf whistling ……one after the other ……..it was like he was saying … ”Oy tosser …hope you are nice and dry in there as I’m bloody wet out here!!” it was like Chinese water torture and minutes later I could be seen marching down the garden in me boxers turning the little bloke off……”whistle now!” I said to him……as I walked away I bet the little bleeder gave me the finger!!!!
Thursday, 9 July 2009
Vindaloo, fans and Sopranos
Ring of Fire 1968….. The song popularised by the late Johnny Cash ……..Ring of Fire 2009………the vindaloo I had yesterday returns.
Yes I know I’m on a healthy eating spree and there was method in my madness……I didn’t want all those creamy curries I went for a real hot one thinking well it might just not contain as much fat……..(I’m down from 19st 4 to 17 st 1 don’t you know?) but it was an occasion…..finally like rats from a sinking ship Road Runner and Mr T are leaving the department……my move is imminent but yesterday was their day so I had to indulge a little….so it is the end of the….. Three musketeers…Three amigos……dumb dumber and downright numbskull…..I have to say that although the job I’ve been doing since working with these individuals has been dull….they have been probably the best work colleagues I have had since joining the firm 14 years ago (in two days time I would have been doing this job for 14 years to be exact) but alas all good things come to an end and although our paths will cross no doubt from time to time, I’ll kind of miss the pair of them no longer will T’s lift music quietly pump away like a badly made porn movie sound track , from his little speakers attached to his IPod…..no longer will we marvel at the way a farmers girl from Hull (or Hool ) can mutate the Queen’s English and make it sound so quaint …bringing her own special bit of Yorkshire into the London suburb of West Drayton …..no longer will Spriggan Mist’s music be ripped to shreds by their Cowell and Holden type critique…actually I probably won’t miss that bit…….if you are reading T and Roady Runner …………..I salute you………now bugger off as the new people want your lockers…..and I’m sure there is tons to write about them in these pages.
As for me?…..as stated the role has been a load of crap but it has allowed me to have quality time with the family and concentrate on the music a bit and of course write a meaningless list of pooh weekly known as The High’s at the Low End.
I don’t know why I write this you know………maybe it is some form of self help therapy… to help me make sense of my silly little world?………or maybe it is just an avenue for expression?…I don’t really know who reads it anymore although the hit count suggests there are people all over the world that do………
So the band are taking a well earned week off then we are having a bit of a conflab into what we are doing next
The band in full flow at St Joseph's (photo courtesy of Clive elkington)
…The gizmo kids are off gallivanting in their camper down in the sticks of Dorset …..I bet they have loads of Gizmo’s in that van. I reckon at a flip of a switch the draining board flips round into a mobile recording studio and the shower room a mobile time portal so Gurning boy can slip in and out of the seventies at will….talking of the seventies, the Ol’ Dawg who played at our last event (rather good in my opinion too) happened to name drop the fact that Dave Brock of Hawkwind fame back in the late 70’s came up to him after Ol’Dawg came off stage at a gig and said “ like what you do with the feed back man……” and had a five minute chat about his feedback technique…one wonders if he ever used Ol’Dawg’s tip……
The weather has been quite good recently hasn’t it except Tuesday….it hammered down and I blame Mother Dearest and her band of dribblies on their day trip to Worthing for this. I phoned up the local old bill down in the sleepy Sussex coastal resort that a drunken bunch of pensioners from Bracknell were about to descend on them and shatter the seaside bliss replacing it with an antisocial behaviour free for all. I heard that the shops were boarding up their windows and the schools were going home early just in case of trouble. Their planned march down the sea front swinging bicycle chains above their heads chanting “We are the bids we are the bids” was cancelled due to the weather and they came home frustrated as to not being able to cause mayhem…I heard that the services on the A23 had their toilets trashed and the words “ Bracknell Bids were ere” scrawled in lipstick on the mirrors in big pink letters .
Well we are starting to amass a few fans too. The OC an LSA at the youngling’s school described us as amazing and has sent our youtube links to all his friends.........poor deluded soul.
There have been a few teachers and parents that are genuinely interested in what we are doing which is cool. Then there is Mother Dearest’s pal from Basingstoke ........she is scary! She is roughly Mother Dearest’s age ...actually no one is that old ,,,,, but in that ball park....she actually owns a chainsaw!!!!!! She told me in her Hampshire twanged voice that “it’s really quite good” couldn’t tell you what she uses it for ,maybe she uses it to slice bread.... would make a mess of the formica side though. I suggested that maybe she shouldn’t wield such a thing as the Texas Chainsaw massacre sprung to mind ......but old Texas doesn’t want to know.
I’d like to end today’s offering with a quote from our very own Gran pop percussionist talking about our rigorous debrief and dissection of our performances.......
“I see music as a live and transient experience and chopping it up to see how it went is like cutting the soprano's throat to find out where the noise comes from.”
Grand pops in action at St Joseph's (photo courtesy of Clive Elkington)
Yes I know I’m on a healthy eating spree and there was method in my madness……I didn’t want all those creamy curries I went for a real hot one thinking well it might just not contain as much fat……..(I’m down from 19st 4 to 17 st 1 don’t you know?) but it was an occasion…..finally like rats from a sinking ship Road Runner and Mr T are leaving the department……my move is imminent but yesterday was their day so I had to indulge a little….so it is the end of the….. Three musketeers…Three amigos……dumb dumber and downright numbskull…..I have to say that although the job I’ve been doing since working with these individuals has been dull….they have been probably the best work colleagues I have had since joining the firm 14 years ago (in two days time I would have been doing this job for 14 years to be exact) but alas all good things come to an end and although our paths will cross no doubt from time to time, I’ll kind of miss the pair of them no longer will T’s lift music quietly pump away like a badly made porn movie sound track , from his little speakers attached to his IPod…..no longer will we marvel at the way a farmers girl from Hull (or Hool ) can mutate the Queen’s English and make it sound so quaint …bringing her own special bit of Yorkshire into the London suburb of West Drayton …..no longer will Spriggan Mist’s music be ripped to shreds by their Cowell and Holden type critique…actually I probably won’t miss that bit…….if you are reading T and Roady Runner …………..I salute you………now bugger off as the new people want your lockers…..and I’m sure there is tons to write about them in these pages.
As for me?…..as stated the role has been a load of crap but it has allowed me to have quality time with the family and concentrate on the music a bit and of course write a meaningless list of pooh weekly known as The High’s at the Low End.
I don’t know why I write this you know………maybe it is some form of self help therapy… to help me make sense of my silly little world?………or maybe it is just an avenue for expression?…I don’t really know who reads it anymore although the hit count suggests there are people all over the world that do………
So the band are taking a well earned week off then we are having a bit of a conflab into what we are doing next
The band in full flow at St Joseph's (photo courtesy of Clive elkington)
…The gizmo kids are off gallivanting in their camper down in the sticks of Dorset …..I bet they have loads of Gizmo’s in that van. I reckon at a flip of a switch the draining board flips round into a mobile recording studio and the shower room a mobile time portal so Gurning boy can slip in and out of the seventies at will….talking of the seventies, the Ol’ Dawg who played at our last event (rather good in my opinion too) happened to name drop the fact that Dave Brock of Hawkwind fame back in the late 70’s came up to him after Ol’Dawg came off stage at a gig and said “ like what you do with the feed back man……” and had a five minute chat about his feedback technique…one wonders if he ever used Ol’Dawg’s tip……
The weather has been quite good recently hasn’t it except Tuesday….it hammered down and I blame Mother Dearest and her band of dribblies on their day trip to Worthing for this. I phoned up the local old bill down in the sleepy Sussex coastal resort that a drunken bunch of pensioners from Bracknell were about to descend on them and shatter the seaside bliss replacing it with an antisocial behaviour free for all. I heard that the shops were boarding up their windows and the schools were going home early just in case of trouble. Their planned march down the sea front swinging bicycle chains above their heads chanting “We are the bids we are the bids” was cancelled due to the weather and they came home frustrated as to not being able to cause mayhem…I heard that the services on the A23 had their toilets trashed and the words “ Bracknell Bids were ere” scrawled in lipstick on the mirrors in big pink letters .
Well we are starting to amass a few fans too. The OC an LSA at the youngling’s school described us as amazing and has sent our youtube links to all his friends.........poor deluded soul.
There have been a few teachers and parents that are genuinely interested in what we are doing which is cool. Then there is Mother Dearest’s pal from Basingstoke ........she is scary! She is roughly Mother Dearest’s age ...actually no one is that old ,,,,, but in that ball park....she actually owns a chainsaw!!!!!! She told me in her Hampshire twanged voice that “it’s really quite good” couldn’t tell you what she uses it for ,maybe she uses it to slice bread.... would make a mess of the formica side though. I suggested that maybe she shouldn’t wield such a thing as the Texas Chainsaw massacre sprung to mind ......but old Texas doesn’t want to know.
I’d like to end today’s offering with a quote from our very own Gran pop percussionist talking about our rigorous debrief and dissection of our performances.......
“I see music as a live and transient experience and chopping it up to see how it went is like cutting the soprano's throat to find out where the noise comes from.”
Grand pops in action at St Joseph's (photo courtesy of Clive Elkington)
Monday, 29 June 2009
Faery Fest 2009 ...The pictures
All photos by the DarkMagi
The band on the stage.
The band together with Rockstar and mini minx
The Promo
Mini minx......well mini minxing!
The scene of the butchery!!!!!Us drumming in the solstice sun....I'm getting bitten to shreds by gnats and mozis
The band on the stage.
The band together with Rockstar and mini minx
The Promo
Mini minx......well mini minxing!
The scene of the butchery!!!!!Us drumming in the solstice sun....I'm getting bitten to shreds by gnats and mozis
Thursday, 25 June 2009
Away with the Faeries ...sheep shite and spots
No not some weird and wonderful 80s band names but my weekend at the 3 wishes Faery Fest 2009. What a great time it was too loads of alcohol a flowing but no yobbery no bad behaviour ...we only came accross nice polite people and kids .......and twanging my bass strings and hearing the reverberation aound the festival area was fantastic!!!!!!!hope we get invited back next year I really do .
Drumming at dawn on summer solstice morning at a Wood Henge beside the lake was a real cool experience too ...there was a lone piper dressed as the Holly king and then as the Oak King upon the rise of the Solstice sun ...he was cool........unfortunately this was where I was surrounded by gnats as I drummed the djembe ...Wifey with hers . Went back to sleep in the morning sun and woke up with a face looking like a domino's pizza........had to do the performance with spots.........It was so bad that at the services on the way back from Cornwall I was given a huge wide berth in a queue......
The Dark Marge was a great help roadying for us and I caught him admiring pixie and faery outfits of the younger adult faeries with extreme interest....of course marvelling at the colourful outfits some were almost wearing.........
Spriggan Mist made their debut at the Fest just after six on solstice day evening playing for an hour and a quarter we did well . I muffed up Lazy Stones but apart from that all ok . There was between a hundred and hundred and fifty people scattered around the hill having drinks in the sun ,,,it was a lovely scene and when we played "The Park "to see them all with hands in the air at the chanty bit was a special moment too......
Unfortunately some halfwit oaf set up the video of the performance right by the main speakers so it's virtually unusable cos of distortion .........ok ok twas me.........
So next is the 5th gig .........The school fete....4th July ...........can't wait I have the gigging bug bad ........look out for photies on these pages very shortly.
Drumming at dawn on summer solstice morning at a Wood Henge beside the lake was a real cool experience too ...there was a lone piper dressed as the Holly king and then as the Oak King upon the rise of the Solstice sun ...he was cool........unfortunately this was where I was surrounded by gnats as I drummed the djembe ...Wifey with hers . Went back to sleep in the morning sun and woke up with a face looking like a domino's pizza........had to do the performance with spots.........It was so bad that at the services on the way back from Cornwall I was given a huge wide berth in a queue......
The Dark Marge was a great help roadying for us and I caught him admiring pixie and faery outfits of the younger adult faeries with extreme interest....of course marvelling at the colourful outfits some were almost wearing.........
Spriggan Mist made their debut at the Fest just after six on solstice day evening playing for an hour and a quarter we did well . I muffed up Lazy Stones but apart from that all ok . There was between a hundred and hundred and fifty people scattered around the hill having drinks in the sun ,,,it was a lovely scene and when we played "The Park "to see them all with hands in the air at the chanty bit was a special moment too......
Unfortunately some halfwit oaf set up the video of the performance right by the main speakers so it's virtually unusable cos of distortion .........ok ok twas me.........
So next is the 5th gig .........The school fete....4th July ...........can't wait I have the gigging bug bad ........look out for photies on these pages very shortly.
Monday, 15 June 2009
Humuhumunukunukuapua..is the word
I was tired, very tired I looked around me and it was surreal, all these 10 year olds were doing the Humuhumunukunukuapua, That well known High School Musical song. The 10 year olds were in Hawaiian garb their mums were really getting into it and were doing all the actions on the settee…….what was I doing there!!!!!!!!!
Being on the PTA is no easy feet. It was Friday afternoon and I had been up since the crack of a sparrow’s doodah. The Sharpettes are a group of year 5s at the little’ un’s school that do tribute sketches from High School musical…..now for those of you not in the know HSM is the most annoying nauseating piece of tripe that has ever graced the silver screen…….it’s an American series of films about a group of High School kids that …….well are…musical
It was my job to go and logistically look at their latest work and see what we could do mic wise for the summer fete. So I trundle along to PTA agent Maltese Falcon ‘s house who I must say had it sorted …shove a hotdog in the hands of those kids (siblings etc.).that weren’t taking part shepherd The Sharpettes into the front room and relative order was restored from the previous excited shrill of ten year old girls wearing grass skirts and flowers. They did their performance for me with audience participation in the form of their Mum’s doing the fish noises and rather annoying spitting that is part of the song……….and there I was right in the middle of it not knowing if I should smile……keep a straight face or just make my apologies and vomit down the toilet……
Don’t get me wrong the girls are very good they do all the choreography themselves and learn the lyrics and really pull it off….but HSM is so awful!!!!! Now some of the Mum’s at the school say it’s not dissimilar to Grease in our day…..but that is not right is it?….I mean Grease is the word….It's got groove it's got meaning Grease is the time, is the place is the motion .Grease is the way we are feeling….High School Musical is Humuhumunukunukuapua……I rest my case……
PTA life is rather strange, Agent A came up to me the other day when she was explaining she was onto someone about a rumour and literally told me she should be a detective from MFI…..I ,rather confused asked ….”what , you want to nick people that steel draws and cabinets ?” I realised she meant FBI………ooohhhh….(places palm of hand across eyes and shakes head whilst looking at the floor)
But the School fete is nearly here and the flyer announcing Spriggan Mist’s participation looks like dis!
The third gig went well …we played in the forest in a clearing and played 12 songs including the new one Solstice …….Think we were well received and the mistakes we know we made weren’t glaring and actually someone from work who was there actually came to see me today and said that our music suited the environment and it was a great evening and that he could of sat there all night listening to us having a beer…..
This could be taken two ways and I did ask….(did you expect me not to?)
So our music suited the environment……we were in the woods…..
1. a polite way of saying our music was wooden …..or indeed full of sh1t….as we all know what bears do in the woods
2. Or we captured the serenity of nature and whisked people away on a wave of sublime energy of the forest.
Could have sat there all night listening to us having a beer
1. A polite way of saying …your music sounds better with a beer or it indeed drives you to drink…..
2 The relaxing cold beer was supplemented by the melodic bliss of Spriggan Mist
You can judge for yourself anyway as I have posted up a video on youtube just type in Spriggan Mist live and you will find it………….Curiously enough the video shows The Gurning Gizmo Techno kid and I with green attire…how odd…….we were wearing Black…..Wifey can also see a face in the tree behind Gurno boy ……I reckon it was the forest's way of accepting us as one of it’s own.
Next week is the biggy……..3 wishes Faery Fest…time to iron out the silly mistakes put in maximum concentration and put on smiley face…….lets rock dem Faeries!!!! In a Spriggan Rock kinda way of course.
Being on the PTA is no easy feet. It was Friday afternoon and I had been up since the crack of a sparrow’s doodah. The Sharpettes are a group of year 5s at the little’ un’s school that do tribute sketches from High School musical…..now for those of you not in the know HSM is the most annoying nauseating piece of tripe that has ever graced the silver screen…….it’s an American series of films about a group of High School kids that …….well are…musical
It was my job to go and logistically look at their latest work and see what we could do mic wise for the summer fete. So I trundle along to PTA agent Maltese Falcon ‘s house who I must say had it sorted …shove a hotdog in the hands of those kids (siblings etc.).that weren’t taking part shepherd The Sharpettes into the front room and relative order was restored from the previous excited shrill of ten year old girls wearing grass skirts and flowers. They did their performance for me with audience participation in the form of their Mum’s doing the fish noises and rather annoying spitting that is part of the song……….and there I was right in the middle of it not knowing if I should smile……keep a straight face or just make my apologies and vomit down the toilet……
Don’t get me wrong the girls are very good they do all the choreography themselves and learn the lyrics and really pull it off….but HSM is so awful!!!!! Now some of the Mum’s at the school say it’s not dissimilar to Grease in our day…..but that is not right is it?….I mean Grease is the word….It's got groove it's got meaning Grease is the time, is the place is the motion .Grease is the way we are feeling….High School Musical is Humuhumunukunukuapua……I rest my case……
PTA life is rather strange, Agent A came up to me the other day when she was explaining she was onto someone about a rumour and literally told me she should be a detective from MFI…..I ,rather confused asked ….”what , you want to nick people that steel draws and cabinets ?” I realised she meant FBI………ooohhhh….(places palm of hand across eyes and shakes head whilst looking at the floor)
But the School fete is nearly here and the flyer announcing Spriggan Mist’s participation looks like dis!
The third gig went well …we played in the forest in a clearing and played 12 songs including the new one Solstice …….Think we were well received and the mistakes we know we made weren’t glaring and actually someone from work who was there actually came to see me today and said that our music suited the environment and it was a great evening and that he could of sat there all night listening to us having a beer…..
This could be taken two ways and I did ask….(did you expect me not to?)
So our music suited the environment……we were in the woods…..
1. a polite way of saying our music was wooden …..or indeed full of sh1t….as we all know what bears do in the woods
2. Or we captured the serenity of nature and whisked people away on a wave of sublime energy of the forest.
Could have sat there all night listening to us having a beer
1. A polite way of saying …your music sounds better with a beer or it indeed drives you to drink…..
2 The relaxing cold beer was supplemented by the melodic bliss of Spriggan Mist
You can judge for yourself anyway as I have posted up a video on youtube just type in Spriggan Mist live and you will find it………….Curiously enough the video shows The Gurning Gizmo Techno kid and I with green attire…how odd…….we were wearing Black…..Wifey can also see a face in the tree behind Gurno boy ……I reckon it was the forest's way of accepting us as one of it’s own.
Next week is the biggy……..3 wishes Faery Fest…time to iron out the silly mistakes put in maximum concentration and put on smiley face…….lets rock dem Faeries!!!! In a Spriggan Rock kinda way of course.
Tuesday, 9 June 2009
Number one super guy.....Quicker than a human eye!!
Two stone ...it's official I have lost two stone since Easter Monday .......and when I have just had a morning doo doo it's two stone two pounds but that I suspect is far too much information.
Well the Maltese word for rain is indeed xita (pronounced Shit-a) and that about summed up the weather this weekend really....as we lazed around as a family ensuring that our children watch educational things on the telly like .......the whole series of Hong Kong Phooey (did you know they only actually made 16 episodes????).......I mean he was a 70s Martial arts icon ..............shame he hung himself really .....or was that David Carradine?..........none the less Hong Kong Phooey used to jump into a filing cabinet to get changed ...maybe David Carradine jumped into a wardrobe to do the same and got it wrong trying to emulate the real top dog in 70s chop sockys!!!!!!..........could be?
Before you all call us lazy bar stewards I'll explain why we were chilled as penguins! we have full diaries the next few weekends.
Next week is Rockstar's birthday ...he is 8.........and we are taking him and his partner in crime from many school playground tales of cheekiness and general Tom Foolery to Diggerland in Kent. The next day we are gigging at Phasels Wood in Kings Langley where Rockstar makes his debut with the new line up of Spriggan Mist on " The Park and Orion II"
We have been practicing and may even include a small set of Reels .....my !!!!!how times have changed ........there is me playing the old root and fifths to trad. folk stuff....and loving it.....
I have checked my self ...I don't smell of wet dogs and mothballs ....... yet so I'm not a real folky. Although the clothes I'm wearing on stage will probably get more outrageous as we progress on our musical journey.
Which leads me onto a little pet project of mine.......my aim is to get the Incredible Gurning Gizmo kid in to Spriggan Mist role.......Without doubt he is an integral part of the new Spriggan Mist sound in performance, arrangement and writing........but we need to get him kitted out .....I'm thinking medievel tunics and Harem trousers and sandals ...without the socks ........I'm thinking maybe leather viking belt .......I'm going to send him some links tonight ....I might even run an on line poll.............What do you think the Gizmo kid will look best in sort of jobby.. we have to look good for the Faery fest......with a name like Spriggan Mist ...we have to look medievel or funky medievel .............
Together with The Dark Marge Wifey and I will be shooting up to Birmingham to watch the long awaited Jeff Wayne' s War of the Worlds on stage ...we are taking Rockstar ...but he doesn't know it yet so shhhhhhh!
We arrive back early hours of Saturday morning then set off to Bodmin for the 3 wishes Faery Fest where I think we are playing Saturday and Sunday..........
I can't speak for the rest of our intrepid band of Musicians but I for one am looking forward to Faery Fest. I know we will rise to the occasion we have worked hard and I am going to enjoy every moment of it. As festivals go it is fairly low key although by evening time the Dolmen are playing and they are probably the best festival get up on your feet and dance folk rock type band about and sharing the same stage as these guys will be fantastic.........ok we will have been on a few hours earlier but you get me jist.
Of course it is the summer solstice .....The Oak King triumphs over the Holly King............really looking forward to the whole experience. oh and it's Father's day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then the weekend after we off down to Weymouth to visit Wifley's Bro and family ...u know Lil miss Chavster and co!!...then it's all the way to the last gig of the 6 gig run ...the School fete......
So there is loads to look forward to ...I will post piccies and diary bits from all events coz I know you lot will be interested..........oh you're not .....well I 'll post it anyway............
Well the Maltese word for rain is indeed xita (pronounced Shit-a) and that about summed up the weather this weekend really....as we lazed around as a family ensuring that our children watch educational things on the telly like .......the whole series of Hong Kong Phooey (did you know they only actually made 16 episodes????).......I mean he was a 70s Martial arts icon ..............shame he hung himself really .....or was that David Carradine?..........none the less Hong Kong Phooey used to jump into a filing cabinet to get changed ...maybe David Carradine jumped into a wardrobe to do the same and got it wrong trying to emulate the real top dog in 70s chop sockys!!!!!!..........could be?
Before you all call us lazy bar stewards I'll explain why we were chilled as penguins! we have full diaries the next few weekends.
Next week is Rockstar's birthday ...he is 8.........and we are taking him and his partner in crime from many school playground tales of cheekiness and general Tom Foolery to Diggerland in Kent. The next day we are gigging at Phasels Wood in Kings Langley where Rockstar makes his debut with the new line up of Spriggan Mist on " The Park and Orion II"
We have been practicing and may even include a small set of Reels .....my !!!!!how times have changed ........there is me playing the old root and fifths to trad. folk stuff....and loving it.....
I have checked my self ...I don't smell of wet dogs and mothballs ....... yet so I'm not a real folky. Although the clothes I'm wearing on stage will probably get more outrageous as we progress on our musical journey.
Which leads me onto a little pet project of mine.......my aim is to get the Incredible Gurning Gizmo kid in to Spriggan Mist role.......Without doubt he is an integral part of the new Spriggan Mist sound in performance, arrangement and writing........but we need to get him kitted out .....I'm thinking medievel tunics and Harem trousers and sandals ...without the socks ........I'm thinking maybe leather viking belt .......I'm going to send him some links tonight ....I might even run an on line poll.............What do you think the Gizmo kid will look best in sort of jobby.. we have to look good for the Faery fest......with a name like Spriggan Mist ...we have to look medievel or funky medievel .............
Together with The Dark Marge Wifey and I will be shooting up to Birmingham to watch the long awaited Jeff Wayne' s War of the Worlds on stage ...we are taking Rockstar ...but he doesn't know it yet so shhhhhhh!
We arrive back early hours of Saturday morning then set off to Bodmin for the 3 wishes Faery Fest where I think we are playing Saturday and Sunday..........
I can't speak for the rest of our intrepid band of Musicians but I for one am looking forward to Faery Fest. I know we will rise to the occasion we have worked hard and I am going to enjoy every moment of it. As festivals go it is fairly low key although by evening time the Dolmen are playing and they are probably the best festival get up on your feet and dance folk rock type band about and sharing the same stage as these guys will be fantastic.........ok we will have been on a few hours earlier but you get me jist.
Of course it is the summer solstice .....The Oak King triumphs over the Holly King............really looking forward to the whole experience. oh and it's Father's day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then the weekend after we off down to Weymouth to visit Wifley's Bro and family ...u know Lil miss Chavster and co!!...then it's all the way to the last gig of the 6 gig run ...the School fete......
So there is loads to look forward to ...I will post piccies and diary bits from all events coz I know you lot will be interested..........oh you're not .....well I 'll post it anyway............
Monday, 1 June 2009
The Incredible Pouting moment
Hey it’s been a while...just been real busy.....well actually Simon Cowell happened to be at The Plough and Harrow pub when we launched the band officially and wanted us to sign a multi million pound contract.......not.
It did however go well . Orion II and The Park could of been better...but even the Park was hailed as one of our best by that mad Scotsman our very own War veteran Jockanese K ......MBE. we certainly enjoyed it and the turn out was good too...lets say the landlord was happy with his takings and that was just from what Road Runner and Diddler were drinking.......our thanks does go out to all who attended and I promise I will bring mother dearest round to each and every one of you to apologise in due course.....lets say the vino was definitely flowing..........all the way into her glass.
The Dark Marge came up from the west country and did the mixer for us .......he did very very well . Spriggan Mist play everything live ...no playback at all but we do lay on the effects big stylie and also Wifey and the Gizmo kids play several instruments..........so there is a lot going through that desk...although he looked somewhat puzzled when I asked him to turn the tambourine up .....hee hee!!!!!!
We have posted a few videos on you tube but the picture quality is poor as it was so dark and the sound would be ok for the usual pub nattering but I have posted them anyway,
So unfortunately as Mr Cowell did not come a calling we returned to our day jobs after the bank holiday....and wifey’s news of telling me she was on a course meant the inevitable.......she would write a song.......Solstice is our new project......and following on from me saying I will not sing any new songs that’s it.........I’m singing this one . Written especially for the Faery fest its about......well knock me down with a soggy chip butty...The Solstice. Early rehearsals prove to be good some refining go do yet though as is true of our next two covers ”sing” by Travis.....now The incredible Gurning gizmo kid has turned this into Pink Floyd meets Travis with an alternative intro......no seriously last night he was there in his own little ear monitored world giving it tons of Dave Gilmour pout as he started to have a moment with his guitar . We have also given the task of singing “lighthouse” by the Waifs to our percussionist The Tomato slayer who I must add has just become a Grandad......So in our last band we had the Holy one just leaving school now we have Grandad......Grandad does however sing very well...kind of bluesy...anyway it’s nice to let drummers get in on the action.....after all drummers aren’t just for Christmas you know.
The last additions to the set list is a whole melee of jigs reels and hornpipes ....where I have actually not the foggiest idea what I’m supposed to play yet......I’ll work something out before next rehearsal
Another new addition to the band is “The Beast”. The Gizmo kids have excelled here......They wheeled in this box resembling a George Lucas created droid....it’s an impressive piece of kit and literally we can plug in to it and Gizmo girl the pinger of phantasmagorical proportions can turn us up down ....off at will ...it can live record on individual tracks and eventually Dark Marge will be able to do front of house by sitting with a laptop on a wireless connection.......So we have the hardware ...the artwork......just need a bit more talent.......
And so as another new working week approaches us like a time share salesman in a loud flowery shirt I bid you farewell until the next exciting adventures of me
It did however go well . Orion II and The Park could of been better...but even the Park was hailed as one of our best by that mad Scotsman our very own War veteran Jockanese K ......MBE. we certainly enjoyed it and the turn out was good too...lets say the landlord was happy with his takings and that was just from what Road Runner and Diddler were drinking.......our thanks does go out to all who attended and I promise I will bring mother dearest round to each and every one of you to apologise in due course.....lets say the vino was definitely flowing..........all the way into her glass.
The Dark Marge came up from the west country and did the mixer for us .......he did very very well . Spriggan Mist play everything live ...no playback at all but we do lay on the effects big stylie and also Wifey and the Gizmo kids play several instruments..........so there is a lot going through that desk...although he looked somewhat puzzled when I asked him to turn the tambourine up .....hee hee!!!!!!
We have posted a few videos on you tube but the picture quality is poor as it was so dark and the sound would be ok for the usual pub nattering but I have posted them anyway,
So unfortunately as Mr Cowell did not come a calling we returned to our day jobs after the bank holiday....and wifey’s news of telling me she was on a course meant the inevitable.......she would write a song.......Solstice is our new project......and following on from me saying I will not sing any new songs that’s it.........I’m singing this one . Written especially for the Faery fest its about......well knock me down with a soggy chip butty...The Solstice. Early rehearsals prove to be good some refining go do yet though as is true of our next two covers ”sing” by Travis.....now The incredible Gurning gizmo kid has turned this into Pink Floyd meets Travis with an alternative intro......no seriously last night he was there in his own little ear monitored world giving it tons of Dave Gilmour pout as he started to have a moment with his guitar . We have also given the task of singing “lighthouse” by the Waifs to our percussionist The Tomato slayer who I must add has just become a Grandad......So in our last band we had the Holy one just leaving school now we have Grandad......Grandad does however sing very well...kind of bluesy...anyway it’s nice to let drummers get in on the action.....after all drummers aren’t just for Christmas you know.
The last additions to the set list is a whole melee of jigs reels and hornpipes ....where I have actually not the foggiest idea what I’m supposed to play yet......I’ll work something out before next rehearsal
Another new addition to the band is “The Beast”. The Gizmo kids have excelled here......They wheeled in this box resembling a George Lucas created droid....it’s an impressive piece of kit and literally we can plug in to it and Gizmo girl the pinger of phantasmagorical proportions can turn us up down ....off at will ...it can live record on individual tracks and eventually Dark Marge will be able to do front of house by sitting with a laptop on a wireless connection.......So we have the hardware ...the artwork......just need a bit more talent.......
And so as another new working week approaches us like a time share salesman in a loud flowery shirt I bid you farewell until the next exciting adventures of me
Sunday, 17 May 2009
Euro VISION
Yet again Eurovision has thrown up it’s usual cauldron of controversy. Political voting seemed to be a very unfashionable thing this year and many countries appeared to vote a bit more fairly. With the dawn of Pop Idol ,X-factor and all that crap it seems we vote with our eyes almost more than with our ears.
Now Maltese singer, Chiara bless her has an amazing voice but she isn’t blessed with the most stunning of looks and there is a few pounds to be shed. (she has lost some already ). But she can sing. Now lets look at the winner some geezer from Norway. Puppy eyes cute little smile .....a fiddle (which he played well) trendy hair with the sticky up bits .......with the majority of Eurovisioners being female they found the right recipe.......I mean it’s not very macho is is?.......
”Alright Bert coming down the boozer tonight?”
“Nah mate it’s Eurovision ain’t it”............................don’t think so
I couldn’t possibly condone the comments made about Chiara eating all the pies I heard this week and a friend said to me that no wonder I came to England and married an English girl if Maltese girls look like that. Beauty my dear friends is not skin deep and Chiara is a very talented singer..........the fact she keeps pie shops in business and there is a rumour that Moscow has run out of pies is irrelevant ....I am no advert for Slimcea myself so these comments disgust me................................how very dare they
But there is hope for the UK next year in the wake of a fiddler winning in Moscow. Our very own Incredible Gurning Gizmo geezer and Violinist extraordinaire in response to an email I sent him this week where I had passed judgement on one of his compositions called Annalise(I mean who am I to judge....but hey)
And I quote.......
“Then I shall reserve Annalise for my Eurovision Song Contest entry next year performed with 2 violins, a cello - all girls of course, and some double-jointed contortionist dancers.”
Andrew Lloyd Webber..........who are you?
Now Maltese singer, Chiara bless her has an amazing voice but she isn’t blessed with the most stunning of looks and there is a few pounds to be shed. (she has lost some already ). But she can sing. Now lets look at the winner some geezer from Norway. Puppy eyes cute little smile .....a fiddle (which he played well) trendy hair with the sticky up bits .......with the majority of Eurovisioners being female they found the right recipe.......I mean it’s not very macho is is?.......
”Alright Bert coming down the boozer tonight?”
“Nah mate it’s Eurovision ain’t it”............................don’t think so
I couldn’t possibly condone the comments made about Chiara eating all the pies I heard this week and a friend said to me that no wonder I came to England and married an English girl if Maltese girls look like that. Beauty my dear friends is not skin deep and Chiara is a very talented singer..........the fact she keeps pie shops in business and there is a rumour that Moscow has run out of pies is irrelevant ....I am no advert for Slimcea myself so these comments disgust me................................how very dare they
But there is hope for the UK next year in the wake of a fiddler winning in Moscow. Our very own Incredible Gurning Gizmo geezer and Violinist extraordinaire in response to an email I sent him this week where I had passed judgement on one of his compositions called Annalise(I mean who am I to judge....but hey)
And I quote.......
“Then I shall reserve Annalise for my Eurovision Song Contest entry next year performed with 2 violins, a cello - all girls of course, and some double-jointed contortionist dancers.”
Andrew Lloyd Webber..........who are you?
Sunday, 10 May 2009
Match of the Day
Match report by the Incredible Gurning Gizmo Geezer.
It was Spriggan United's first match...
The team had been assembled over a short space of time, but had worked hard in their training sessions: this was their first friendly. There were teething problems with their kit, some of the shirts were a bit baggy, but they all managed to get to the stadium on time. But it was not the covered stadium they had expected, they were a bit worried if it rained, as their new kit wasn't waterproof and the colours might run. There was a match already playing, and it was a good standard, but the crowd didn't seem that interested - they were probably waiting for the main event.
The team started doing their warm-up, when the FA fixture-secretary came over and asked what the hell they were doing? It turned out that there had been a fixture mix-up, and the pitch was double-booked. As the team sighed with disappointment (ok, As the team raged in anger..), a compromise was hashed out where the match could be played immediately after the previous one, but they would need to complete their warm-up quickly. As they rushed to get ready, the captain seemed to have picked up an injury, but he recovered, so they were ready to start playing.
The first few minutes were a bit tentative, as might be expected. There were a few mistakes, and the team didn't seem to be enjoying themselves too much. The coach, who was also new to the job, done his best to keep them going. The crowd still seemed ambivalent to the whole affair,no cheering or booing - it turned out they were all listening on the radio to Blackburn beating Portsmouth 2-0 (seems they were all Portsmouth fans). Anyway, Spriggan's match finished, and the team felt disappointed with their performance and the resulting 0-0 draw.
Later, they sat together watching 'Match Of The Day', expecting a depressing experience. But they were surprised that they did better than they thought at the time, and a few sick parrots were cured. Alan Hansen said that it was "a good defensive performance - the team and coach show promise if they keep working".
It was Spriggan United's first match...
The team had been assembled over a short space of time, but had worked hard in their training sessions: this was their first friendly. There were teething problems with their kit, some of the shirts were a bit baggy, but they all managed to get to the stadium on time. But it was not the covered stadium they had expected, they were a bit worried if it rained, as their new kit wasn't waterproof and the colours might run. There was a match already playing, and it was a good standard, but the crowd didn't seem that interested - they were probably waiting for the main event.
The team started doing their warm-up, when the FA fixture-secretary came over and asked what the hell they were doing? It turned out that there had been a fixture mix-up, and the pitch was double-booked. As the team sighed with disappointment (ok, As the team raged in anger..), a compromise was hashed out where the match could be played immediately after the previous one, but they would need to complete their warm-up quickly. As they rushed to get ready, the captain seemed to have picked up an injury, but he recovered, so they were ready to start playing.
The first few minutes were a bit tentative, as might be expected. There were a few mistakes, and the team didn't seem to be enjoying themselves too much. The coach, who was also new to the job, done his best to keep them going. The crowd still seemed ambivalent to the whole affair,no cheering or booing - it turned out they were all listening on the radio to Blackburn beating Portsmouth 2-0 (seems they were all Portsmouth fans). Anyway, Spriggan's match finished, and the team felt disappointed with their performance and the resulting 0-0 draw.
Later, they sat together watching 'Match Of The Day', expecting a depressing experience. But they were surprised that they did better than they thought at the time, and a few sick parrots were cured. Alan Hansen said that it was "a good defensive performance - the team and coach show promise if they keep working".
Saturday, 9 May 2009
Does My Bum Look Big In This?
It was a sunny Friday afternoon....(bit like a peter and Jane story isn't it?....wonder what happened to them?.....probably drawing pensions now..)
Anyway I was driving home so I decided to give The Incredible Gurning Gizmo kid a bell to see what time e was coming round to do the last minute labelling so the sound desk would be at least idiot proof if not Dark Marge proof.....
I was met with a muffled "wait a minute ...just taking my guitar off" I waited as I heard the receiver get put down and picked up again ."Been practicing ? good lad " I said in admiration for our fiddling guitarist's dedication......"ahh well no actually I was just trying on the pirate shirt" I swerved the car as I realised Gurning boy was indeed posing in front of the mirror in stage kit....with his guitar....."You wearing trousers? " I asked "or just the codpiece" a nervous chuckle was received down the line and I had further visions of Gizmo standing there with just a pirate shirt and codpiece posing with his semi ......acoustic....and then having a good fiddle with the screaming banana..........(his yellow electro violin that is) I can just imagine him calling the Phantom Pinger into the front room..."does my bum look big in this?" just as I was erasing this disturbing vision from my head this evening the pair of them were talking about looking for a screw in a box full of wires......very highly irregular I'm sure.
Well here we are ....all the wires labelled...Gurno and pinger did a great job tonight in all seriousness and apart from there musical talent I welcome their organisational and technical skills.As the Manic street preachers clang their leccy guitars on Later with Jools Holland (and Paolo Nutini challenges are very own gurning champ to a gurn down as he puts on that stupid voice which sounds like a badly tuned radio station )it's time for me to turn in as it is now May the 9th and it is the day we open another chapter in the young history of Spriggan Mist....Whatever that carefully put together sound set up chucks out tomorrow it will be from the heart and our own work......which we are all very proud of.....I hope those that are there tomorrow like it too. If not ....no worries we'll be having a ball anyway
Anyway I was driving home so I decided to give The Incredible Gurning Gizmo kid a bell to see what time e was coming round to do the last minute labelling so the sound desk would be at least idiot proof if not Dark Marge proof.....
I was met with a muffled "wait a minute ...just taking my guitar off" I waited as I heard the receiver get put down and picked up again ."Been practicing ? good lad " I said in admiration for our fiddling guitarist's dedication......"ahh well no actually I was just trying on the pirate shirt" I swerved the car as I realised Gurning boy was indeed posing in front of the mirror in stage kit....with his guitar....."You wearing trousers? " I asked "or just the codpiece" a nervous chuckle was received down the line and I had further visions of Gizmo standing there with just a pirate shirt and codpiece posing with his semi ......acoustic....and then having a good fiddle with the screaming banana..........(his yellow electro violin that is) I can just imagine him calling the Phantom Pinger into the front room..."does my bum look big in this?" just as I was erasing this disturbing vision from my head this evening the pair of them were talking about looking for a screw in a box full of wires......very highly irregular I'm sure.
Well here we are ....all the wires labelled...Gurno and pinger did a great job tonight in all seriousness and apart from there musical talent I welcome their organisational and technical skills.As the Manic street preachers clang their leccy guitars on Later with Jools Holland (and Paolo Nutini challenges are very own gurning champ to a gurn down as he puts on that stupid voice which sounds like a badly tuned radio station )it's time for me to turn in as it is now May the 9th and it is the day we open another chapter in the young history of Spriggan Mist....Whatever that carefully put together sound set up chucks out tomorrow it will be from the heart and our own work......which we are all very proud of.....I hope those that are there tomorrow like it too. If not ....no worries we'll be having a ball anyway
Tuesday, 5 May 2009
Wish It Was a Stinker!
A terrible thing happened at rehearsals the other night……..No…. The Incredible Gurning man didn’t lose half his bow up his nose whilst vigorously fiddling his solo in Waiting for a Dewdrop to Fall nor did Wifey’s Sax start blowing bubbles ….something far worse …….we had a great rehearsal……we played the best yet…..and it was the last one before the first gig…….it should have been a stinker..!!!! our only saving grace is that we mucked up Lazy Stones.
So here we are the first gig upon us on Saturday . Come four o’clock at the Plough and Harrow in Warfield at their fundraising event we will be in full swing and Spriggan Mist’s music will be heard live properly for the first time.
The Dark Marge or Daft Wormwood as he calls himself these days will be in attendance ….he will be like Worzel Gummidge at gigs …apart from the smelly holey socks and the unkempt appearance ,he’ll have different heads for different tasks ….Roady, soundman ,official photographer/cameraman..not to mention security…….hey I kid you not….at work the other day I got smiled and winked at whilst standing outside a railway station …you just don’t know…! when in full swing I might get accosted on stage……(ok ok the winker was a bloke who was obviously very gay and camp with it …..but I might still need security…maybe even more so ) I have instructed the band that Dark Marge likes to be called Oy! And really likes a kick in the butt if he doesn’t respond quick enough…….
So with a week of work ahead of me I am indeed distracted by the gig …..and with a whole pile of work lined up for me I’m struggling to stay focussed… work is getting in the way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here we are the first gig upon us on Saturday . Come four o’clock at the Plough and Harrow in Warfield at their fundraising event we will be in full swing and Spriggan Mist’s music will be heard live properly for the first time.
The Dark Marge or Daft Wormwood as he calls himself these days will be in attendance ….he will be like Worzel Gummidge at gigs …apart from the smelly holey socks and the unkempt appearance ,he’ll have different heads for different tasks ….Roady, soundman ,official photographer/cameraman..not to mention security…….hey I kid you not….at work the other day I got smiled and winked at whilst standing outside a railway station …you just don’t know…! when in full swing I might get accosted on stage……(ok ok the winker was a bloke who was obviously very gay and camp with it …..but I might still need security…maybe even more so ) I have instructed the band that Dark Marge likes to be called Oy! And really likes a kick in the butt if he doesn’t respond quick enough…….
So with a week of work ahead of me I am indeed distracted by the gig …..and with a whole pile of work lined up for me I’m struggling to stay focussed… work is getting in the way !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, 29 April 2009
Mother Dearest's Magical Mystery Tour!
So whilst beating about the kitchen on a busy Saturday morning ....I mean which imbecile suggested weekends were for relaxing?!?!?!?!?!?!Mother Dearest gets on the blower and asks if I'd like to take her to this shop in Binfield to buy silver icing colouring.....so I weighed up the fact I had ...washing ironing , lawn mowing dinners to cook .....music to practice and generally a house to tidy and said yes.....
So prising the kids away from each other ......I think at the time Rockstar was pile driving mini minx into the ground following her giving him a double suplex to the chorus of Eazzzeeee Eazzzeeee! but anyway I managed to get them in the car and we arrived at MD's sheltered accomodation to start the magical mystery tour.
Now alarm bells should of started to ring really when she told me she heard about this shop from a man in the pub......(well a woman down the market actually but it's only a subtle difference....) So I ask .....well where is the shop? Amen Corner she replied with all certainty.....shop name? road name ? .......no! So I fired up the in dash crsytal ball and set off on my marathon trip around Binfield. We hunted high ......we hunted low ....but alas couldn't find the shop with no name in a road of similar anonymity. I now know Binfield like the back of my hand....although the back of my hand is by far more interesting. After a few hours we returned home itemless,witless and clueless......
So Rockstar and mini minx resumed their rumble in the jungle and I resumed my mmenial task of keeping the house running.
Weight update ....from 19st 4 on Easter Monday,I actually weighed 18st 1 yesterday morning......
music update.......can tell the gigs are hurtling ever closer ...I made some silly silly errors in rehearsal the other night....(no not just by turning up!!!)
Kultural Karma has taken another twist...out goes the Mando ...the incredible Gurning Gizmo said I looked like Tiny Tim with it in my hand. In comes the jazzed up bass line....again. Working on harmonies this week.......more rehearsals at the weekend maybe a midweek next week and then the gig......Wifey took delivery of very cool stage clothes last night and my effects on my bass have all suddenly decided to sound like Daleks so it's back to the drawing board........not done nearly enough bass study for my lesson that is looming tonight .......and I'm busier than a big busy thing at work
just another day in the life of me
So prising the kids away from each other ......I think at the time Rockstar was pile driving mini minx into the ground following her giving him a double suplex to the chorus of Eazzzeeee Eazzzeeee! but anyway I managed to get them in the car and we arrived at MD's sheltered accomodation to start the magical mystery tour.
Now alarm bells should of started to ring really when she told me she heard about this shop from a man in the pub......(well a woman down the market actually but it's only a subtle difference....) So I ask .....well where is the shop? Amen Corner she replied with all certainty.....shop name? road name ? .......no! So I fired up the in dash crsytal ball and set off on my marathon trip around Binfield. We hunted high ......we hunted low ....but alas couldn't find the shop with no name in a road of similar anonymity. I now know Binfield like the back of my hand....although the back of my hand is by far more interesting. After a few hours we returned home itemless,witless and clueless......
So Rockstar and mini minx resumed their rumble in the jungle and I resumed my mmenial task of keeping the house running.
Weight update ....from 19st 4 on Easter Monday,I actually weighed 18st 1 yesterday morning......
music update.......can tell the gigs are hurtling ever closer ...I made some silly silly errors in rehearsal the other night....(no not just by turning up!!!)
Kultural Karma has taken another twist...out goes the Mando ...the incredible Gurning Gizmo said I looked like Tiny Tim with it in my hand. In comes the jazzed up bass line....again. Working on harmonies this week.......more rehearsals at the weekend maybe a midweek next week and then the gig......Wifey took delivery of very cool stage clothes last night and my effects on my bass have all suddenly decided to sound like Daleks so it's back to the drawing board........not done nearly enough bass study for my lesson that is looming tonight .......and I'm busier than a big busy thing at work
just another day in the life of me
Friday, 24 April 2009
The return of Ultravox
When I was handed a little envelope at Christmas with the confirmation we were going to see Ultravox in Brighton, the 23rd of April seemed a long way away. It arrived and taking the day off Wifey and I descended upon Brighton just after lunch and beat about the place for about six hours visiting many different shops (a huge guitar shop ...which was heaven but that is another story)
Just for the record we didn't indulge in Alcohol, fast food or anything elae unhealthy , having started the day with a run in Bracknell we took our own food eat and drank healthy........the Indian eat as much as you like for next to nothing shop was tempting ......but no.....we were strong.
Anyway we arrived at the Brighton Dome ...and what a venue that is by the way! loads and loads of people (Ultravox has sold out everywhere they have gone on this tour and tickets are like rocking horse shit.) but no queues at the bar! loads of staff and prices were like normal ....I really recommend the old place .....
So after enduring the support act...she was allright just very solo and very acoustic.....We waited for Ultravox ...a wait that this line up has made us wait since Live aid!!!!1985!!!!Now if you were expecting a funny blog today...I'm sorry you ain't getting one. You see since my childhood I've grown up with Midge and the boys. Vienna and Rage in Eden albums were constantly being played by the Dark Marge who was well into them at the time and then when I was older my own pocket money stretched to Quartet, Lament and Uvox and other unusual mixes and live albums. The fact they split up 23 years ago and looked like they were never going to reform and then suddenly they announce the Return to Eden tour on the 30th anniversary of Vienna well then I'm entitled to just note my immediate thoughts on my blog the morning after me thinks
As the lights dimmed and the lazers started the rhythmic like tapping of Astrodyne started to reverberate around the old theatre. They walked on in silence siloueted in the mist and lazers then they all stood at their synths and soon the place was full of the whining synths so synonamous to Ultravox. the first part of the gig was mainly Vienna and Rage in Eden tracks like Passing Strangers, Mr X ,We stand alone , I remember ,Rage in Eden and the place erupted when your name has slipped my mind again merged into Vienna and then the more well known Ultravox songs were blasted out by the bunch of old timers that rocked the 80s and really could show a few new bands how to do it!!!! Thin Wall, Hymn, One small Day,Lament,we stood still, Dancing with Tears in my eyes they were all there. Just as it was time for their community bus to take them back to their nursing homes....(after 90 minutes of music) they came back on for Sleepwalk and The Voice as encores. A more portly Warren Cann looked tired his jet black dyed hair flopping about as he joined the rest of the band at the front of the stage were Chris Cross , Billie Curry and Midge had just chucked their drumsticks into the crowd having ended The Voice with them in unison on drums. Currie had several times come to the front of the stage with his fiddle and re created those haunting sounds of the eighties ....his hair now snow white. Chris Cross and Midge Ure took the bow with the two forementioned and the audience ...who I must say were a very old audience gave them the standing ovation they deserved.What a gig!!!!
A real night to remember...a day to remember...the day I fulfilled another childhood ambition.
Just for the record we didn't indulge in Alcohol, fast food or anything elae unhealthy , having started the day with a run in Bracknell we took our own food eat and drank healthy........the Indian eat as much as you like for next to nothing shop was tempting ......but no.....we were strong.
Anyway we arrived at the Brighton Dome ...and what a venue that is by the way! loads and loads of people (Ultravox has sold out everywhere they have gone on this tour and tickets are like rocking horse shit.) but no queues at the bar! loads of staff and prices were like normal ....I really recommend the old place .....
So after enduring the support act...she was allright just very solo and very acoustic.....We waited for Ultravox ...a wait that this line up has made us wait since Live aid!!!!1985!!!!Now if you were expecting a funny blog today...I'm sorry you ain't getting one. You see since my childhood I've grown up with Midge and the boys. Vienna and Rage in Eden albums were constantly being played by the Dark Marge who was well into them at the time and then when I was older my own pocket money stretched to Quartet, Lament and Uvox and other unusual mixes and live albums. The fact they split up 23 years ago and looked like they were never going to reform and then suddenly they announce the Return to Eden tour on the 30th anniversary of Vienna well then I'm entitled to just note my immediate thoughts on my blog the morning after me thinks
As the lights dimmed and the lazers started the rhythmic like tapping of Astrodyne started to reverberate around the old theatre. They walked on in silence siloueted in the mist and lazers then they all stood at their synths and soon the place was full of the whining synths so synonamous to Ultravox. the first part of the gig was mainly Vienna and Rage in Eden tracks like Passing Strangers, Mr X ,We stand alone , I remember ,Rage in Eden and the place erupted when your name has slipped my mind again merged into Vienna and then the more well known Ultravox songs were blasted out by the bunch of old timers that rocked the 80s and really could show a few new bands how to do it!!!! Thin Wall, Hymn, One small Day,Lament,we stood still, Dancing with Tears in my eyes they were all there. Just as it was time for their community bus to take them back to their nursing homes....(after 90 minutes of music) they came back on for Sleepwalk and The Voice as encores. A more portly Warren Cann looked tired his jet black dyed hair flopping about as he joined the rest of the band at the front of the stage were Chris Cross , Billie Curry and Midge had just chucked their drumsticks into the crowd having ended The Voice with them in unison on drums. Currie had several times come to the front of the stage with his fiddle and re created those haunting sounds of the eighties ....his hair now snow white. Chris Cross and Midge Ure took the bow with the two forementioned and the audience ...who I must say were a very old audience gave them the standing ovation they deserved.What a gig!!!!
A real night to remember...a day to remember...the day I fulfilled another childhood ambition.
Monday, 20 April 2009
I want to do a decent E
I looked down at my plate.......I looked at Rockstar's (my 7 year old )he had more beans than me!!!! I'd woken up and Wifey decided she was doing breakfast and that she and I were going to follow this diet........I now think Rosemary Conley is a bitch!......
It all started when the Wii Fit told me I was a fat bastard! Now it is true that in 10 years since winning the World championship (yes..... 10 years come November) have put on three stone and a lot of body fat.....the old six pack has long turned into a keg and where I once had lazer light speed legs ...the old pins are ...well.....bedside table light speed now.
So yes I was 19 stone 4 and have been eating sensibly since Easter Monday and getting tons more exercise and to my amazement last night Wii Fit told me I had lost 8lbs.I am however quite hungry and apparently the first two weeks on this diet are hell!!!! but then I can eat a bit more about 2,400 calories i think but at the moment I'm living for mealtimes except yesterday's lunch was appalling and resembled something ripped out of the flower beds ....so much so I'm knocking myself up a hutch with a nice sliding door as I'm sure I will resemble a rabbit soon.
In all seriousness i needed to do something the old weight has crept up and surprisingly in the last week I have felt less tired and better for losing the few pounds...........still think Roemary Conley is a sadistic evil moo!!!!
Music ......AAAAAA EEEEEEE DDDDDD AAAAAA.....that is how Kultural Karma should be played on the Mandolin.......My version?......AAAAAAAA.............fek! E...E..sort of E ..EEEE....DDDDDDD AAAAAAAA! Yes I'm struggiling doing Es.....thought I'd try and play the Mando to fill out the song ....I have set myself til Monday 27th (next rehearsal) to do it. Rehearsals went well on Saturday...Double G (gurning gizmo kid) has had a cold so I sang The Park doing my best double G immitation.The Park is actually coming along quite nicely and generally the songs are improving. Only 19 days to the first gig and probably only two rehearsals .....
So as I take this day as impromptu leave from work (didn't realise the kids had an inset day straight after Easter holidays!!! )I ponder on what lies ahead of me in this week....and Thursday is indeed going to be a great day. At Christmas wifey bought us tickets to see Ultravox live in Brighton. Now Dark Marge saw them in their hey day in Portsmouth on the Rage in Eden tour back in 1981....(well he is old) So I'm going to see the Return to Eden tour ....I am well up for this as I would say Ultravox over the years since I was about 10 have been my favourite band. Never thought Midge Ure, Warren Cann, Billy Currie and Christopher Cross would re unite.
Anyway better go and do some chores...oh yes and tuck into a handfull of leaves.....
It all started when the Wii Fit told me I was a fat bastard! Now it is true that in 10 years since winning the World championship (yes..... 10 years come November) have put on three stone and a lot of body fat.....the old six pack has long turned into a keg and where I once had lazer light speed legs ...the old pins are ...well.....bedside table light speed now.
So yes I was 19 stone 4 and have been eating sensibly since Easter Monday and getting tons more exercise and to my amazement last night Wii Fit told me I had lost 8lbs.I am however quite hungry and apparently the first two weeks on this diet are hell!!!! but then I can eat a bit more about 2,400 calories i think but at the moment I'm living for mealtimes except yesterday's lunch was appalling and resembled something ripped out of the flower beds ....so much so I'm knocking myself up a hutch with a nice sliding door as I'm sure I will resemble a rabbit soon.
In all seriousness i needed to do something the old weight has crept up and surprisingly in the last week I have felt less tired and better for losing the few pounds...........still think Roemary Conley is a sadistic evil moo!!!!
Music ......AAAAAA EEEEEEE DDDDDD AAAAAA.....that is how Kultural Karma should be played on the Mandolin.......My version?......AAAAAAAA.............fek! E...E..sort of E ..EEEE....DDDDDDD AAAAAAAA! Yes I'm struggiling doing Es.....thought I'd try and play the Mando to fill out the song ....I have set myself til Monday 27th (next rehearsal) to do it. Rehearsals went well on Saturday...Double G (gurning gizmo kid) has had a cold so I sang The Park doing my best double G immitation.The Park is actually coming along quite nicely and generally the songs are improving. Only 19 days to the first gig and probably only two rehearsals .....
So as I take this day as impromptu leave from work (didn't realise the kids had an inset day straight after Easter holidays!!! )I ponder on what lies ahead of me in this week....and Thursday is indeed going to be a great day. At Christmas wifey bought us tickets to see Ultravox live in Brighton. Now Dark Marge saw them in their hey day in Portsmouth on the Rage in Eden tour back in 1981....(well he is old) So I'm going to see the Return to Eden tour ....I am well up for this as I would say Ultravox over the years since I was about 10 have been my favourite band. Never thought Midge Ure, Warren Cann, Billy Currie and Christopher Cross would re unite.
Anyway better go and do some chores...oh yes and tuck into a handfull of leaves.....
Sunday, 12 April 2009
Gig Flyer Release
Here is the official flyer for the Plough and Harrow gig.
As always sensationally produced by the Dark Marge
As always sensationally produced by the Dark Marge
Thursday, 9 April 2009
Gig Dates
So here it is the Gig dates and timings where available
Saturday 09/05/2009 1500 Weekend MacMillan Cancer Charity Fund Raiser
Plough and Harrow Public House
Forest Road
Warfield
Berks
RG32 6AE
Saturday 23/05/2009 2100
Plough and Harrow Public House
Forest Road
Warfield
Berks
RG32 6AE
Sunday 14/06/2009 In a marquee somewhere in Buckinghamshire
A charity supporting a children's cancer charity are doing a bike ride ending in a bar-b-q and ....well us
Saturday 04/07/2009 1300-1600 St Joseph's school Fete Bracknell
please come and support us at as many of these events as you can
regards
Spriggan Mist
Saturday 09/05/2009 1500 Weekend MacMillan Cancer Charity Fund Raiser
Plough and Harrow Public House
Forest Road
Warfield
Berks
RG32 6AE
Saturday 23/05/2009 2100
Plough and Harrow Public House
Forest Road
Warfield
Berks
RG32 6AE
Sunday 14/06/2009 In a marquee somewhere in Buckinghamshire
A charity supporting a children's cancer charity are doing a bike ride ending in a bar-b-q and ....well us
Saturday 04/07/2009 1300-1600 St Joseph's school Fete Bracknell
please come and support us at as many of these events as you can
regards
Spriggan Mist
Wednesday, 8 April 2009
Persnoremance management
The speaker was dull. Her monotone voice drifted over the facts of effective performance management like an early morning fog on a lake except far less interesting.The room was warm the seats a bit tooo comfy, Wifey sat watching other members of the training session that her work thrusts at them thinking it beneficial rather than letting them do the job. Her last vision was a colleague sifting through the far more exciting "Tea pot collectors" weekly magazine which was incognito inside a file which looked far more work related.............. her eyes were getting heavier.....heavier.......heavier............heavy..........hea .....next she heard a loud snore.....which woke her up and made everyone look her way.Wiping the dribble from her mouth and lap she apologised.
She then took to writing some lyrics, Kultural Karma , Days of winter and Spirals have all been written in this manner at boring courses or training days.
Tomorrow Spriggan Mist's "Summer tour" dates are released.....I say tour as our three gig summer has turned in to 5 gigs over a 9 week period. Then we have a break before The Mad M's party in Lincolnshire in September. But as our intrepid Percussionist Tomato Slayer said ......"I'm convinced you'll find out more playing to two bored teenagers and a dog for ten minutes than any number of evenings in the the back garden." ......we've got the dog now where are the bored teenagers?
Just an update from The Dark Marge...or Mythago Wormwood or whatever he calls himself.....He has emersed himself into Second life in a big way and he was last seen floating in a self built Zeppelin accross a virtual world .....I seriously worry about that boy ....I knew all those years locked in his bedroom staring at pictures of Clare Grogan weren't healthy
She then took to writing some lyrics, Kultural Karma , Days of winter and Spirals have all been written in this manner at boring courses or training days.
Tomorrow Spriggan Mist's "Summer tour" dates are released.....I say tour as our three gig summer has turned in to 5 gigs over a 9 week period. Then we have a break before The Mad M's party in Lincolnshire in September. But as our intrepid Percussionist Tomato Slayer said ......"I'm convinced you'll find out more playing to two bored teenagers and a dog for ten minutes than any number of evenings in the the back garden." ......we've got the dog now where are the bored teenagers?
Just an update from The Dark Marge...or Mythago Wormwood or whatever he calls himself.....He has emersed himself into Second life in a big way and he was last seen floating in a self built Zeppelin accross a virtual world .....I seriously worry about that boy ....I knew all those years locked in his bedroom staring at pictures of Clare Grogan weren't healthy
Monday, 6 April 2009
Band Dynamics
It is only after a while that you kind of get to know people really isn't it. The band is starting to function as a band quite well...ideas are bouncing as high as a Northern Rock cheque and the music is certainly getting better and better .....and on the way we are having fun.
Last night's rehearsal was a good one with the problematic songs tackled hard on like Vinnie Jones on steroids. Earth Calling...in my opinion one of Wifey's finest instrumentals with so much going on was giving us trouble. Gurning boy went home last week re jigged it about....maybe layed it out in a way it made sense to him and The Phantom Pinger...funked up my bass line added a false stop threw in a mad all over the place bombastic bit (later discarded by Simon Cowell aka Wifey) and gave the song an overdose of speed at the end to make it a lot faster. It sounded great!!!and I get to put a wah effect on my bass....blinding!
Now due to the fact earlier this week I had a cold......and I'd been singing "The Park " like Aled Jones to hit the high backing my voice went last night and Kultural Karma vocally was by far not my finest hour...but it was during Kultural Karma I looked down at the The Phantom Pinger. You see Pings is a bit of a gadget girl. In front of her is only what I can describe as the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.
Out of the corner of my eye there is some weird and wonderful pad pushing keyboard plunking and knob twisting going on the result of which out of the monitors ...little atmospherics and keyboard sounds can be heard. At the front of the arrangement is a laptop which has her score tastefully hidden from the audience which scrolls down as she plays ...it's marvelous.
Earlier this week Gurning boy who I must say is not short of being a bit of a gizmo boy himself emails me a suggestion.......(they must come to him like Eureka moments.....) The new song we are learning of his "The Park" involves a lot of backing vocals (you know Aled Jones style ...I've mentioned this already...keep up) Knowing that I am a lyrical talent (head swelling by the moment )....well you are reading my blog so there must be something in the way I write!!!! anyway where was I?....oh yes self appreciation bit.....yes he asked me to write a prose for the beginnning of the song so he could put a little atmospheric bit in the background and then come in with the first chords as I finish linking the previous song in a seamless transition.....blimey.He described it as like Peter Gabriel did on some DVD he saw. So practicing the fine art of minimising and maximising my word document at work as my boss hovered I wrote a few lines and last night we tried it.....Ping the Gadget girl twisted some knobs and off I started ignoring Tomato slayer and Wifey looking like two howling witches round a cauldron as my lyrics embraced the atmospheric back drop....(blimey that did sound arty farty......I'm going to type that again )
my lyrics embraced the atmospheric back drop....
Anyway wifey reckons I should really get into the Peter Gabriel theme and come out dressed as a sunflower.....I told her to "go forth and multiply"...taking her sunflower and Dark Marge's faery outfit with her!!!!!!But then at least I've not spent a week's holiday on a naturist beach like some percussionists I know ....a very long winded explanation was given to me on how he ended up there and it did sound plausable. The Tomato slayer offered me some valuable parenting advice last night too on how to deal with 15 year old daughters..(Minx is 4 going on 15 so won't be long)
Anyway ...at the point where they walk about 10 feet behind you in public as they are embarassed of going out with dear old Dad.... (see last blog) The Tomato Slayer used to grab their hand smile theatrically at them and drag them along whilst skipping as high as possible like Laura out of little house on the Prairie...apparently it works a treat...I will bank that and use it in 10 years time. I think Slayer's Wife and my Wifey are related.....hmmm well he told us that some people are scared of his Mrs......the rest have never met her!!!!
This blog has really been about the band today....between work and band wifey and I have managed to get layed......a stone circle in the middle of the garden together with stepping stones from the patio to the music room. I've also managed to connect up Mother Dearest's DVD/ Video for her...the eyesight isn't that good these days bless her ....she tried putting a slice of bread in the old video thinking it a toaster so I connected it up for her ....the other day she was going round the underpass on her ferrari (on two wheels...ala James Bond) and she saw what she described as a monster with big arms out stretched coming towards her ....which turned out to be a lad on a bike with a roll of bubble wrap on his back.
So what of the Dark Marge.....dunno I'll let you know when he comes back out of "Second life " on the internet....
toodle loo
Last night's rehearsal was a good one with the problematic songs tackled hard on like Vinnie Jones on steroids. Earth Calling...in my opinion one of Wifey's finest instrumentals with so much going on was giving us trouble. Gurning boy went home last week re jigged it about....maybe layed it out in a way it made sense to him and The Phantom Pinger...funked up my bass line added a false stop threw in a mad all over the place bombastic bit (later discarded by Simon Cowell aka Wifey) and gave the song an overdose of speed at the end to make it a lot faster. It sounded great!!!and I get to put a wah effect on my bass....blinding!
Now due to the fact earlier this week I had a cold......and I'd been singing "The Park " like Aled Jones to hit the high backing my voice went last night and Kultural Karma vocally was by far not my finest hour...but it was during Kultural Karma I looked down at the The Phantom Pinger. You see Pings is a bit of a gadget girl. In front of her is only what I can describe as the bridge of the Starship Enterprise.
Out of the corner of my eye there is some weird and wonderful pad pushing keyboard plunking and knob twisting going on the result of which out of the monitors ...little atmospherics and keyboard sounds can be heard. At the front of the arrangement is a laptop which has her score tastefully hidden from the audience which scrolls down as she plays ...it's marvelous.
Earlier this week Gurning boy who I must say is not short of being a bit of a gizmo boy himself emails me a suggestion.......(they must come to him like Eureka moments.....) The new song we are learning of his "The Park" involves a lot of backing vocals (you know Aled Jones style ...I've mentioned this already...keep up) Knowing that I am a lyrical talent (head swelling by the moment )....well you are reading my blog so there must be something in the way I write!!!! anyway where was I?....oh yes self appreciation bit.....yes he asked me to write a prose for the beginnning of the song so he could put a little atmospheric bit in the background and then come in with the first chords as I finish linking the previous song in a seamless transition.....blimey.He described it as like Peter Gabriel did on some DVD he saw. So practicing the fine art of minimising and maximising my word document at work as my boss hovered I wrote a few lines and last night we tried it.....Ping the Gadget girl twisted some knobs and off I started ignoring Tomato slayer and Wifey looking like two howling witches round a cauldron as my lyrics embraced the atmospheric back drop....(blimey that did sound arty farty......I'm going to type that again )
my lyrics embraced the atmospheric back drop....
Anyway wifey reckons I should really get into the Peter Gabriel theme and come out dressed as a sunflower.....I told her to "go forth and multiply"...taking her sunflower and Dark Marge's faery outfit with her!!!!!!But then at least I've not spent a week's holiday on a naturist beach like some percussionists I know ....a very long winded explanation was given to me on how he ended up there and it did sound plausable. The Tomato slayer offered me some valuable parenting advice last night too on how to deal with 15 year old daughters..(Minx is 4 going on 15 so won't be long)
Anyway ...at the point where they walk about 10 feet behind you in public as they are embarassed of going out with dear old Dad.... (see last blog) The Tomato Slayer used to grab their hand smile theatrically at them and drag them along whilst skipping as high as possible like Laura out of little house on the Prairie...apparently it works a treat...I will bank that and use it in 10 years time. I think Slayer's Wife and my Wifey are related.....hmmm well he told us that some people are scared of his Mrs......the rest have never met her!!!!
This blog has really been about the band today....between work and band wifey and I have managed to get layed......a stone circle in the middle of the garden together with stepping stones from the patio to the music room. I've also managed to connect up Mother Dearest's DVD/ Video for her...the eyesight isn't that good these days bless her ....she tried putting a slice of bread in the old video thinking it a toaster so I connected it up for her ....the other day she was going round the underpass on her ferrari (on two wheels...ala James Bond) and she saw what she described as a monster with big arms out stretched coming towards her ....which turned out to be a lad on a bike with a roll of bubble wrap on his back.
So what of the Dark Marge.....dunno I'll let you know when he comes back out of "Second life " on the internet....
toodle loo
Wednesday, 1 April 2009
Nostalgia and The Impromptu Gig
It is a great moment when you realise you can embarass your children......
We've all been on the recieving end as children ourselves haven't we? I'm sure The Dark Marge, as he reads this will recall that when we were kids just as the punk era was giving way to a Mod revival Father Dearest on a Sunday evening just before dusk would insist we both join him on a cruise down Southsea sea front (we only lived up the road). So rather reluctantly we'd pile into the Vauxhall Victor and he'd bung on some crap on the cassette car stereo like Jim Reeves or the Platters wind down the windows (by hand of course .....there were no automatic ones then at least not on our budget) and he'd start from Eastney Swimming baths down to Clarence pier hand hanging outside his window singing out loud to the strains of "only you " as we passed trendy looking mods in their trilbies and suits as they sat chatting on their lambrettas and vespas ......I remember mastering the art of sinking into my seat so no one from school would see me...The Marge was even better at it than me and for him at a rough age of 15 it must have been even worse...almost social suicide....looking back Father Dearest must of been in seventh heaven...A Maltese lad, in England out with his boys warm summer evening, music he loved in a City he loved.....he was doing a job he loved too at the time and it was probably his way of unwinding.......unfortunately it wound us up a treat.
Mother Dearest? she was saved from the ordeal by doing the weeks ironing of a Sunday night....Sometimes the top 40 would be on in the background.....in fact one of my earliest memories is on a Sunday night in my pyjamas in the kitchen of our Naval married quarters surrounded by piles of ironing with a toy guitar (purchased from the Southsea show if I remember rightly) pretending I was a rock star strumming to David Bowie's Space Oddity ...the line "ooooh i'm floating in a tin can " being as much as I knew of the lyrics ...I was only about 4!!!!!
Anyway I digress.....So there we were some 34 years after Space Oddity was released sitting outside the violin and piano teacher's house in Bracknell. Mini Minx was inside torturing her violin (actually that is harsh as she too is only 4 and is doing very very well) My 7 year old Rockstar is sat in the car with me I had the window open and I flip through my Ipod (how times have changed)I find "One Way " by the Levellers and play it. Now on Saturday from a mind body and spirit fair in Brentwood I purchased a vietnamese mouth harp...kind of like a jews harp but made of a bullet case....it makes a boing diddy boing sound and I have been driving everyone mad with it but I had 10 minutes to spare so I jammed along to the levellers ....to my surprise I noticed out of the corner of my eye about four school children stood bt the car window really digging this vibe...they were under 10 years of age. I was rockin making as much rhythmic noise as possible and really getting in to it.....I looked at rockstar and he was sinking in his chair he was changing colours and had a look of ...."let me dissappear in a puff of smoke" in his eyes.....I got a clap from the children ......I decided to put it away.....afterall doesn't look good does it? strange bloke in a strange car gathering a crowd of children around him......times have unfortunately changed.......
I closed my eyes and for a moment ....I heard Jim Reeves' "welcome to my world" like an echoe from the past and for a moment ....just a moment .... I was on Southsea sea front again.....in our Vauxhall Victor
We've all been on the recieving end as children ourselves haven't we? I'm sure The Dark Marge, as he reads this will recall that when we were kids just as the punk era was giving way to a Mod revival Father Dearest on a Sunday evening just before dusk would insist we both join him on a cruise down Southsea sea front (we only lived up the road). So rather reluctantly we'd pile into the Vauxhall Victor and he'd bung on some crap on the cassette car stereo like Jim Reeves or the Platters wind down the windows (by hand of course .....there were no automatic ones then at least not on our budget) and he'd start from Eastney Swimming baths down to Clarence pier hand hanging outside his window singing out loud to the strains of "only you " as we passed trendy looking mods in their trilbies and suits as they sat chatting on their lambrettas and vespas ......I remember mastering the art of sinking into my seat so no one from school would see me...The Marge was even better at it than me and for him at a rough age of 15 it must have been even worse...almost social suicide....looking back Father Dearest must of been in seventh heaven...A Maltese lad, in England out with his boys warm summer evening, music he loved in a City he loved.....he was doing a job he loved too at the time and it was probably his way of unwinding.......unfortunately it wound us up a treat.
Mother Dearest? she was saved from the ordeal by doing the weeks ironing of a Sunday night....Sometimes the top 40 would be on in the background.....in fact one of my earliest memories is on a Sunday night in my pyjamas in the kitchen of our Naval married quarters surrounded by piles of ironing with a toy guitar (purchased from the Southsea show if I remember rightly) pretending I was a rock star strumming to David Bowie's Space Oddity ...the line "ooooh i'm floating in a tin can " being as much as I knew of the lyrics ...I was only about 4!!!!!
Anyway I digress.....So there we were some 34 years after Space Oddity was released sitting outside the violin and piano teacher's house in Bracknell. Mini Minx was inside torturing her violin (actually that is harsh as she too is only 4 and is doing very very well) My 7 year old Rockstar is sat in the car with me I had the window open and I flip through my Ipod (how times have changed)I find "One Way " by the Levellers and play it. Now on Saturday from a mind body and spirit fair in Brentwood I purchased a vietnamese mouth harp...kind of like a jews harp but made of a bullet case....it makes a boing diddy boing sound and I have been driving everyone mad with it but I had 10 minutes to spare so I jammed along to the levellers ....to my surprise I noticed out of the corner of my eye about four school children stood bt the car window really digging this vibe...they were under 10 years of age. I was rockin making as much rhythmic noise as possible and really getting in to it.....I looked at rockstar and he was sinking in his chair he was changing colours and had a look of ...."let me dissappear in a puff of smoke" in his eyes.....I got a clap from the children ......I decided to put it away.....afterall doesn't look good does it? strange bloke in a strange car gathering a crowd of children around him......times have unfortunately changed.......
I closed my eyes and for a moment ....I heard Jim Reeves' "welcome to my world" like an echoe from the past and for a moment ....just a moment .... I was on Southsea sea front again.....in our Vauxhall Victor
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